Three Hundred Eleventh Entry

I am such a bonehead. I found my CD's. They were hidden in various places in my truck and studio. Stupid me. But I am relieved.

Have you gone astray?
Or lost your way?
You should have seen me yesterday.
Well I knew this kind of love
Was written in the stars
It's only once or twice that you're in line with Mr. Moon
Then it was you,
You took me on your cloud,
Give me flowers for my pain,
But with some degree of certainty,
My destiny,
Seemed to slip away from me,
Before I got to know your name.

CHORUS:
Just give me a chance
I'll do what you want me to
Everybody wants to dance
So how come I can't dance with you
You really turn me on
You're the one that makes me smile
It's Mr Moon who plays in tune, Mr Moon who knows
And if it's Mr Moon who gives the sign then that's the sign that goes
I never know what to do
Till I'm there with you.

Did you lose your mind
For a day
You don't remember anyway
Like the waters of a dream
Encapsulate my mind
A place I haven't seen sits at the end of space and time
So lost in love
Than I think I'm blind
To perchance upon this circumstance is something of a miracle
So spiritual
It's verging on the physical
Searching for a love I cannot find.

CHORUS

Mr. Moon
Return of the Space Cowboy album
by Jamiroquai

----------

You say you fight to give us freedom
But often more than not this is abused
And the faces of a tired generation
have decided they are sick of being used
for the purpose of current declarations
Still the same, it'll never change until the end
Is to buy appreciation of the nation
To cover the mistakes you must defend
And you say there'll be a chance for everyone
to protest against your calculated greed
But I can see into the future
Won't be long before the welfare
Send me letters telling me how much they need
And it's not been in my interest to please them
For the only interest rate to fall is mine
See a brand new generation is demanding
What you've been doing with our money all this time

Scam
People try living life at speed of light
Scam
Don't know why but I have to do the things I do
Scam
Give me ten, that's the move I give you five
Scam
People say it's the way to stay alive

So you see you have to be a schemer
If you wanna love the life you have to live
And it don't matter how much I earn
'Cos I always get my fingers burned
When the man gets down to his business
And I've been searching for a reason
Why I have to give it all up just when I want to get ahead
See I have no car, job, wife, dog and home
Debts and threats on the telephone
Maybe I should bust a move instead
Now we all know when we watch the television
Not confused between a puppet or conviction
Glued to the screen by a thousand shallow words of widsom
It ain't what it seems when it's a single sided system
Someone's got a hold on my living
So I'm gonna have to do the things that's fair
They got to justify for what I should be giving
Should I lie, should I steal or should I care
'Cos now I've got to scam

Scam
Return of the Space Cowboy album
by Jamiroquai

Three Hundred Tenth Entry

I just finished watching two incredible movies, "Ray" and "Finding Neverland". "Finding Neverland" made me cry, and Jaime Foxx really was really really great in "Ray". I love netflix.

Up next is Anchorman, Mystic River and Million Dollar Baby. I can't wait.

I am missing about 10 CD's. Three of my Jamiroquai (Emergency, Travelling and Funk Odyssey), my Travis Singles CD, 12 Memories, and a few others. I've searched and searched, but to no avail. Let me know if anyone knows of their whereabouts. Operators are standing by.

Four hundred years or more
Since you came to crucify
They were taken far away from home
There were promises of paradise
But if they have been told that day
They would be sold this way
To satisfy the souls of chosen men
See I had to look carefully
At the shame of my ancestry
To re-define the story line again

If I was taken for a day
And shown another way
Every child can learn a different thing
See i tried a million times
but i had to change my mind
Sadness was the best thing I could bring
On the inside he was dead and this is what he said
As he took away the blue above the clouds
Superiority was clearly meant to be
So destiny will manifest in time

So where was the love all gone
A troubled trail of tears will tell the tale
Of how I was put down where I don't belong
Woman, child and man for sale
For ethical slavery is just an absurdity
How can you be alive when you are dead
With these chains of hypocrisy
The shame of my ancestry
Forever stained by blood in which you tread

(repeat chorus)

Manifest Destiny
Return of the Space Cowboy album
by Jamiroquai

----------

Now we're getting nasty
Everybody's talking about the kids
The kids got funky soul and groove emotion
But if you don't give the kids the chance to use it
They're always more than likely to abuse it
Everybody's talking about the kids
It's taking time for you to realize
Now hunger turns to anger in our eyes
I say the revolution will be televised
Yes it will, Gil
Everybody's talking about the kids
The kids needs space to get their heads in place
And every day this world we have to face
I just can't seem to find my proper place

Kids get down
Stormy weather
Fifteen years of royal pleasure
Kids get down underground
Everybody dance to the funky sound

Everybody's talking about the kids
It won't be long before we get our own
And every kid can truly feel at home
I told ya you should give the dog a bone
Everybody's talking about school
But I get more pleasure breakin' all the rules
Cos lesson one begins with "Life Is Cruel"
Well I guess I'm just an educated fool
Everybody's talking about the kids
Mom and Dad make efforts to excuse it
Government officials will confuse it
Members of the bench will try to prove it
You're going down sucker

Everybody's talking about the kids now
Everybody's talking about the kids now
The kids got funky soul

Kids get down
Stormy weather
Fifteen years of royal pleasure
Kids get down, celebrate
Now we're going to kick the thing we hate
Everybody's talking about high
But kids get high to satisfy
For reaching out to touch the sky
Is all I can identify, and you know why
Kids get down
Stormy weather
Fifteen years of royal pleasure
Kids get down, celebrate
Now we're gonna kick the thing we hate
Kids get down, pressurized
To live the life that you devised
Kids get, celebrate
Life's too short to complicate

Kids
Return of the Space Cowboy album
by Jamiroquai

Three Hundred Ninth Entry

TV rundown:

Sunday nights:

Extreme Home Makeover on ABC at 8 p.m. I like to watch them do something in a week that would normally take months to do. Plus, I get ideas for my own house, should I ever buy one.
Backup: Cold Case on CBS, then West Wing on NBC.

Desperate Housewives on ABC at 9 p.m. I know, I know. Such a girl show. But it is full of very interesting secrets. And the writing is great. And Eva is hot. You can't beat the drama.
Backup: Iron Chef America on FN, then Nick at Nite.

Grey's Anatomy at 10 p.m. Grey reminds me a lot of someone I know. And I love that it is kicking ass in the ratings against ER. Hate that show!
Backup: Footballers Wives on BBCA.

Monday nights:

Arrested Development on FOX at 8 p.m. Far and away my favorite sitcom on TV. Rumor has it that it is going to be cancelled after the Baseball Playoffs. Even with Charlize Theron making cameos on this weeks episode. Such a shame.
Backup: Nothing. Don't cancel AD!!!!

Kitchen Confidential on FOX at 8:30 p.m. I love that show. And the fact that the main character used to be on one of my other favorite shows just makes it great. Who knew that working in a kitchen is such tough work.
Backup: How I Met Your Mother on CBS.

Prison Break on FOX at 9 p.m. Cool show. The doctor is very cute and looks very familiar. She must have been in something, must research. Any show that has a Civil Engineer as it's main character is going to be watched by me. If, in school, they had explained that I could use Hooke's Law to break out of prison, I probably would have learned it.
Backup: Nothing. I hate Two and a Half Men.

Medium on NBC at 10 p.m. I like psychics. In fact I am psychic. I see that if I am not enjoying Medium, I watch the 10 o'clock news.

Tuesday nights:

Biggest Loser on NBC at 8 p.m. I hate to admit it, but I am kind of getting into this show. It is so motivating. It makes me want to get on that elliptical and use it 'til I pass out.
Backup: Nova on PBS. Science fun. See Phil learn. See Phil geek out.

9 p.m. is still up in the air. I really like My Name Is Earl and the Office(both on NBC), but I also really like Commander in Chief on ABC. I am leaning toward Commander in Chief because Earl and Office are much more DVD-able. But still not sure.

Law & Order: SVU on NBC at 10 p.m. I enjoy the Law & Orders, except for CI(LAME). Kickin' ass and takin' names. All in an hour. If only the real criminal justice system ran that way...
Backup: Boston Legal on ABC, Frontline on PBS.

Wednesday nights:

Nothing at 8 p.m. I still haven't found anything worthwhile at 8 on Wednesday. Any suggestions?

Lost on ABC at 9 p.m. Far and away my favorite drama on TV. Last night "Lost" did not disappoint. I love that show. Every smoke break I took at work today, Jane and I discussed the significance of the film and the Dharma Initiative. Very intriguing. You just can't go wrong.
Backup: Coupling on BBCA. But if I'm not at home watching Lost on Wednesday night, then I am dead in a gutter somewhere.

Invasion on ABC at 10 p.m. Oooh...Aliens. Need I say more?
Backup: Law and Order on NBC.

Thursday nights:

Alias on ABC at 8 p.m. Sidney is still kickin ass after four years. And now she's pregnant? Her hormones should spice things up a little bit. Too bad about Vaughn though. He was expendable. Nobody watched the show for him anyway. It's all about Sidney, dear sweet, hot, pregnant Sidney.
Backup: Nothing.

Night Stalker on ABC at 9 p.m. I'm too young to have seen the original, but they say it's no comparison. I like it just the same. Supernatural panthers, mind-controlling blind guys in prison("You know what you have to do."), Gabrielle Union running around. Perfect formula for a hit show. We'll see how long it sticks around.
Backup: The Office on BBCA.

Nothing at 10 p.m. Maybe the news, maybe nick at nite, maybe PBS, but mostly computer time before I go to bed.

Friday nights:

Nothing 'til 10 p.m. Either the news or Numb3rs.

Saturday nights:

Channel Surfing. But I do like the trend the networks are starting by airing repeats on Saturday nights. I get to watch Earl since I missed it on Tuesday. And I do like how PBS has the Saturday night british comedies on.

So that's my TV week. You can probably see that ABC is my favorite network. For some reason, I have always liked ABC. Since before Desperate Housewives, Millionaire, Dharma and Greg. My whole family would sit around and watch TGIF. We loved that Urkel. Every afternoon my dad would watch Peter Jennings on World News Tonight. He was always my favorite news anchor. I'm just glad ABC has turned it around and is doing well. Now if only they would buy Arrested Development, promote the hell out of it, and make it a hit. That would be great. I'd almost only need one channel.

Wow, that's a lot about TV. I love it.

every bird will sing
the melody of our love tune

yesterday i was half the man i used to be
maybe that's because you're the other half of me
like the spring in bloom
the summer of our love is soon
every bird will sing
the melody of our love tune

sent down from above
unconditionally love
likened to a flower
stronger love grows by the hour
stormy weather days
make us go our separate ways
where our love was so at ease
now you got me down on my knees

yesterday i was
brighter than the morning sun
now my love is lost
and lonely days have just begun
a solitary chair
for a silent love affair
a king has lost his throne
and now he sits alone

every bird will sing
oh now every bird will sing
every bird will sing
the melody of our love tune
I wanna tell you

yesterday i was half the man i used to be
maybe that's because you're the other half of me
like the spring in bloom
the summer of our love is soon
every bird will sing
the melody of our love tune

Half the Man (one of my top five)
Return of the Space Cowboy album
by Jamiroquai

----------

You can be light years
Away from serious intention
See I thought I'd change it all
Someday
I'd get to turn mankind this day
If you don't know you can be light years
Away from your true destination.
Until I get with good vibration
I'm never gonna get to use that earthly power
But I'm gonna jump back
Stnd back and use that earthly power

Now I got that sunshine in my life
Now I got that sunshine in my life.
Light years half a million miles from what you wanna be
Did you ever hear about the man who tried to be
Truly free truly free
You know what I mean
Light years will stand between the laws of principle
And now we think we are invincible
But without true power it's unthinkable

Light years away from the colour of our brotherhood
Light years away from our duty to assistance

Light Years
Return of the Space Cowboy album
by Jamiroquai

Three Hundred Eighth Entry

Had my interview at Caltrans in Oakland today. I was very good and restrained myself from discussing how ignorant and inefficient they are.

It was a good interview. The three panelists were nice and asked interesting problem solving questions. For example: Imagine a roadway has a congestion problem(not that hard in the Bay Area). What factors contribute to the congestion and what measures can be taken to alleviate the congestion? Not a question like "What is LOS?", or "What are HOV lanes?" which is a very Tulare County way of interviewing. You really have to think and almost participate in a quasi-preliminary design solution for that problem. The really broad answer would be to increase capacity on the roadway. They wanted specific answers like: widen the road, add metering lights(if it's a freeway), add a carpool lane(HOV lane), encourage ride-sharing/public transit, provide adequate detour if congestion is due to construction, change the phasing patterns on signals, investigate trip generation for the area. I gave all those answers except for the last two. I think there was one more, but I can't remember it.

Then I had two questions about hazardous waste. One was what to do when you find it (stop construction, isolate it, call hazmat teams) and the other was what risks it may have on environmental resources and people during removal(make people sterile, kill off any plants or animals(possibly endangered), damage the water supply, potentially become airborne). Very interesting questions!

I pulled a boner today. I am such an idiot. I forgot some papers that I needed to take to the interview in my office yesterday. I thought that if I went early enough, noone would see me and I could still call in sick today without repercussions. So, I got up at 6:30 a.m. and went over to the office. I went in, got the papers and headed out. As I stepped out the door at 6:40 a.m., the Assistant Director of Engineering was walking through the parking lot. IF only I hadn't hit the snooze!!! I was absolutely certain he saw me walking out to my truck in my sweats and flip-flops. I totally ignored him(he walked like 5 feet from my truck) and got in and sped off. Then on my way to SL I called in sick to Danny, not thinking the AD of E would say anything. Well, I called Blas after my interview and downloaded to him the questions and my answers. He mentioned that AD of E was up in Danny's office asking where I was:

AD: Where's Young Phillip?
Danny: He called in sick.
AD: Oh really? I saw him here this morning.
Danny: Really?

If I wasn't quitting next week I would shit a brick the size of a microwave. But I am, so I'm not. He'll probably come up and see me tomorrow and ask me what is going on. I'll tell the God's honest truth. Aliens abducted me and taught me how to speak their language. Meep zorb cantwi Poona. Anma Hipro sporat Gijif. I'll teach him the basic phrases, just in case he's ever abducted, and he'll give me one million dollars for being so honest.

Everything is good and brown
Oh I'm here again
With a sunshine smile upon my face
My friends are close at hand
And all my inhibitions
Have disappeared without a trace
I'm glad, oh I found
Somebody who I can rely on

This is the return of the space cowboy
Inter-planetary good vibe zone
Say at the speed of Cheeba, oh you and I go deeper
Maybe I'll have to get high to get by, hey

Everything is good oh and green
Say I'm red again
And I don't suppose I'm comin' down
I can see clearly, so high in sky
A man with psychedelic picture frames
Of happiness to shade his eyes
He's glad, oh that he found
Somebody who he can rely on

This is the return of the space cowboy
Inter-planetary good vibe zone
Say at the speed of Cheeba, oh you and I go deeper
Maybe I'll have to get high to get by, hey
Maybe I'm gonna have to get high

Now he's here again
Now he's here again
And I don't know what I'd do without him next to me
Everything, everything is good and brown
Now that, now that he's around

This is the return of the space cowboy
Inter-planetary good vibe zone

Say at the speed of Cheeba
Oh, you and I go deeper
Maybe I'll have to get high to get by

This is the return of the space cowboy
Inter-planetary good vibe zone

Say at the speed of Cheeba, oh you and I go deeper
Hey now we'll go deeper, oh now we'll go deeper
You and I, you and I, you and I, you and I
You and I, you and I, you and I, you and I
Now we'll go deeper yeah

Return of the Space Cowboy (one of my top five)
Return of the Space Cowboy album
by Jamiroquai

----------

There's a stillness in time
Which I cannot define
Does your heart bleed like mine all the time yeah
For a place we can go
Where the troubles of our time are far away
Hey they are so far away
And I had all my life in front of me
Now my darkness days are trouble free
There are so many wonderous things for you to see

If you find that somethings going wrong
Look around at what your running from
You can wait a thousand years in line
For that stillness in time

I found love in that way
And I'm never sad, and I'm always glad
Anything you give me today
Oh yeah I will will be thankful for
People find it hard to be strong
Cause they don't know where they're coming from
Ooh there was nothing left to do but hang on
For that stillness in time

There's a stillness in time
Search the space inside my mind

If this world is turning too fast for your head
Just remember how bad times can roll instead
Guess I'll have to search the space in my mind
For that stillness in time.

Oh yeah I found love in that way
And I'm never sad, and I'm always glad
Ooh yeah anything you give me today
Oh yeah I will be thankful for
People find it hard to be strong
Cause they don't know where they're coming from
Hey, there was nothing left to do but hang on
For that stillness in time.

I know that this is the peripheral side of bliss
There is no me, for the love I have will stay the same
I have been wrong if I don't know where I'm coming from
If I don't see the things that are inside of me
Apart of me, in front of me
Oh, see it's all around me
Said I know, said I want to find that stillness in time
Stillness in time

Hey la, la, la, la, la, lo (repeat until end)

Stillness in Time
Return of the Space Cowboy album
by Jamiroquai

Three Hundred Seventh Entry

I have a mere $20 dollars to spend between now and payday next week. I don't think my funds have ever been that low. That's what I get for driving so much.

Today at work, Phil, Jane and Johnny went in for their second interview for Marcia's old position. I was pleased to hear that I was a topic of one of the questions. "What can this agency do to keep Young Phillip around?" Cool, huh. I am thinking that Phil will get it, but my gut is saying he won't due to agency politics. Too much shit goes on behind the scenes, it's disgusting. The administration may well decide that none of the candidates are suitable for the position and re-advertise the job. It's gonna suck to get a new guy from the outside to fill Marcia's giant shoes. The learning curve is already steep with all the work that Marcia was doing, but to bring in an outsider? It's gonna get ugly. Thank God I'm not gonna be here!!

Phil was telling me recently that they used to do exit interviews for people leaving the county. I doubt they will call me in for one, but I was trying to come up with something to say in case they did. I would probably mention the benefits situation in passing, but would concentrate more on how engineer's are treated pretty horribly compared to most places. I would like to see a training program started at the county for engineers. Or at least send them to some classes at the UC extension or something. I would like to see more challenging projects where an engineer can start using all those permanently sharpened pencils. I would also point out that there is no chance for advancement within the agency. Phil has been at the same pay scale for 10 years. He's been passed up for promotions every time one comes up. It's as if there is some sort of rule that no engineer inside the agency can be promoted above a III. They always hire from the outside.

Speaking of injustices against engineers, word came through last week that our Operations Division is being transferred over to the Traffic boss, Dennis. From what I've heard, he has absolutely no experience with Operations. Furthermore, a lot of people seem to think that the Administration is setting him up for failure, and when he does fail he'll get fired. If all that is true, then I couldn't be happier that I'm leaving. I don't want to work somewhere where there are such blatant and petty politics at play.

Of course, once all the dust clears everything will go back to normal. Someone will be in Marcia's office, someone will replace Dennis, and engineers will continue doing the same inane projects like sidewalks and overlays. It really is disgusting.

More pleasant news: There was a breakthrough in the talks concerning Blas' and my going-away party. After much pleading and begging on my part, Blas agreed to have the party at Me 'n Ed's pizza in Visalia. Yes, there will be beer, but he is willing to overlook that. So far it looks like it is just going to be Design/Graphics and a few people from Solid Waste and downstairs. Should be fun...

but sad. I was thinking on my drive up to San Leandro on Friday about what I would say if asked to say anything at the party. And it almost made me cry. I've spent the last three years of my life working so closely with these people. There are not just my co-workers, but my friends. I know so much about these peoples personal lives that I can't help but feel a connection. And there were my first steady employment after college. I found out a couple of weeks ago that I almost didn't get hired. If it wasn't for some "golden boy" rejecting the offer, I never would have been called. I am so glad that I got the chance to get to know these people. I really do consider them among my closest of friends. So sad...

and now it starts all over. How will I get along with my new co-workers? Will I like them, or more importantly, will they like me? Will I be able to go to the company functions or will I be a wallflower? Am I going to have as good a relationship with my supervisor/boss as I do now? How will it end?(I've had a yen to watch the Truman Show)

Everything happens for a reason.

----------

If i pick it up i can put it down,
Whatever it is i just can't stop,
For only 20 seconds at a time it's all mine.
I got, too much, pressure,
Got me under it's thumb
And it's no fun, you can lose
Now i got a choice but i can't choose
Insistent as you are, is no guarantee that you'll go far
Rock steady if you can
But i've never been a steady man,
People, wanna shoot you down,
If you can't swim then you will drown
In sorrow, can't get any medical attention till tomorow,

Sadlands, are where i live,
But that's none of your business,
You keep asking, and soon enough
The kids gonna have to get rough,

Maybe i'm a speed king
Push with the foot and i'm smiling,
I can glide on the love inside,
And there was you thinking that my hands were tied
All along i saw you hoping
I would slip and i'm not joking
The evidence in these events
Is still your lack of commonsense
Did you really think that i would sink
Because i like another drink
Have to get up to get down
The remedy is the sound
Absurdity of your suggestion, leaves me asking just one question,
If you're my friend today?
Why do you wanna hear me say?

If i pick it up, can i put it down?
Whatever it is, i just can't stop. (repeat)

Whatever It Is, I Just Can't Stop
Emergency on Planet Earth album
by Jamiroquai

----------

Oooh yeah don't you know that you blow my mind!
Honey you're sweeter than anything,I need you
Want to get closer to you,to you,to you
I want to get closer to you now.

Love ya,I need ya,I think i wanna squeeze ya
Nightly,so tightly,girl you know you really blow my mind
Say it again, Just one more time I've got to know
How you came to blow my mind- Closer

Pleasure, passion- Tonite's the night I'm
looking for your action- I want to hold you
Don't you know that now you blow my mind
Say it again just one more time i've got to know
How you came to blow my mind- Closer

Fever, hot now, help me wipe the sweat
away from my brow- Sexy- oh Lady,
Don't you know this time you blow my mind
Oh don't you know yeah, Don't you know by now
that now you blow my mind (Yeah)
Oh yes you do, yes you do, yes you blow my mind

Blow Your Mind
Emergency on Planet Earth album
by Jamiroquai

----------

You've got to stand up, stay strong start movin' in the right direction
Don't wait, too long, for people promising divine intervention
19 nine three, now I'm taking matters into my own hands
So fast, I can't see
A revolution is the only way that we can change change change
I wanna fight the power

Well it's hard times, white lines, kids of nine
gettin' down with gun crime
War zones, no homes, ain't it time we gave the dog a bone
Say brothers, sisters, step up and put yourself in the picture
This time you know a revolution
if the only way that we can change change change
I want to fight the power

Question, answer, shake your hand and smile for the camera
But it's no good you should spend time in your neighbourhood
Where black kids, white kids
Now you're working overtime to be a crack kid
No job, no cash, a revolution
is the only way that we can change change change
I wanna fight the power

Still we don't seem to understand we need a revolution
Everybody wants a revolution

Who is, this man,
I'm having trouble finding out where I'm coming from
Preconceptions, it's eternal human infection one chance,
Learn how you're gonna change
the habit of a lifetime my soul, concerned,
That revolution is the only way that we can change change change
I wanna fight the power

Higher, higher, now we're gonna learn to fight the power
Sunshine, new day, I only know how to get the right way
Faster, stronger, I help my brother and my soul lives longer
Blinded, I can't see
That revolution is the only way that we can change change change
I wanna fight the power

No doubt, in time, everything is sweet sunshine
But in the meantime, mankind, is having trouble
where to draw the line
We still don't, respect, and yet I thought we had intellect
Sometimes I think the music is the only hope we have for revolution

Still we don't seem to understand we need a revolution
Everybody needs a revolution

Revolution 1993
Emergency on Planet Earth album
by Jamiroquai