One Hundred Seventy-Fifth Entry

I am spending New Year's Eve alone for the first time in my life. No one to kiss, no one to hug and noone to share the passing of another year with.

I can't say that I am altogether unhappy about my New Year's Loneliness. I am looking at it as a chance to destress and think about what I've done in 2003, what's planned for 2004. And oh yeah, I'm sick and the last thing I need is to fight with crazy New Year's partiers on the road.

I have a wish list of things to do for 2004. I wrote it up at work last week (my new favorite pasttime at work is writing lists...God, I'm such an engineer.) So here it is with no particular order assigned to the items.

Quit Smoking planned start date: January 5, 2004
Clean, Organize and Sterilize my apartment from top to bottomplanned to begin as soon as my disease is over
Lose More Weight ongoing
Study for PE Test planned to extend from January to October
Get a Second Job search planned to begin mid-January
Write Best Man Speech for Louis planned to begin early to mid-March
Pay Off at least One Credit Card I think I'll go for the Chase Card
Start Exercising planned to begin as soon as my disease is over
Go to the Doctor for a Physical and Blood Work planned for January
Fix my Old Computer and Network it to the New One I'm such a nerd
Paint Paintings I have four untouched canvasses that I made with my own two hands last summer

So there it is. I'm sure I will not accomplish some of the things on the list. And I'm sure other things will come up that had I known about them now would've ended up on this list.

Louis says I'm lazy. Let me tell you why...

Way back on 12-24-2003(I got impatient), my brother gave me a wireless keyboard and mouse. Very cool, I thought. Now I can sit on my couch and surf the 'net. Well, the last coupla days I tried that, but it was uncomfortable and the print on the monitor was almost too small to see.

I had a brain storm this morning. I remembered that my computer came with a TV Out jack (S-Video). Off I went to Radio Shack and bought a S-Video cable. I came home, plugged one end to the computer, and one end to the TV, and since then I have been surfing the internet on my TV! What's even better, since the TV screen is way bigger than the computer monitor, I can read it a lot easier, and therefore I can be further away.

So, as I type, I am laying down on my sofa, in the same position that I slept in last night, typing, surfing, mp3ing away. God I love it! And if I wanna watch TV, I can just hit the input button on my handy remote. Thanks Fred for helping me live the couch potato's dream!

Talk about lazy. But I'm sick so it's OK.

I just took a theraflu and realized that I was supposed to get gas and buy cigarrettes. Shit, shit, shit!

One Hundred Seventy-Fourth Entry

I had a very fun extra long weekend. Christmas was good to me. The food was great and there was tons of it.

I am coming down with a disease. I don't know if it is the flu, a cold or just a passing mini-malaise, but everything is happening at once.

Symptom 1: Hot and Cold. Right now I feel Hot, but half an hour ago, I felt Cold.
Symptom 2: My left ear hurts and is very sensitive to pressure.
Symptom 3: I broke a tooth yesterday. It doesn't hurt all that much, but feels a little sore.
Symptom 4: Sore throat. I woke up with it this morning.
Symptom 5: Mini muscle aches.
Symptom 6: Light chest pains.

These could all be completely unrelated. Or I could have a heart attack, strep throat, ear infection, arthritis and the flu all at once. Wouldn't that be lucky?

Prediction: I will meet my medical and dental deductible by the end of next month.

I was planning on going to Union Square for New Years Eve just because I never done that before. But now I am not even sure if I am going up tomorrow or not. Depends on how I feel. But if I am up to it, anyone wanna go?

Work is doubtful tomorrow. I could care less. I have 90+ hours on the books in sick leave.

Oooh...work news. I heard my boss say my name, and the words "special PAF" in the same sentence to my supervisor. This could get interesting. My annual PAF(Performance Appraisal Form) is coming up next week. A special PAF is used for promotions. Very interesting. I was hoping to already be a II, but it didn't happen. A II is the same as a I. Exactly the same duties. Only title and pay differ.

Other interesting work news. My boss was going to ask me if I want to join her husbands study group for the PE. Her husband Gene is taking the test in April, and the earliest I could possibly take it is October. But I was planning on starting to study next month anyway. There is so much I have forgotten.

In case I die before I talk to any of you, Happy New Year!

One Hundred Seventy-Third Entry

I am drunk right now. It is very fun. I like to be drunk. Lisa, Jen and Dayni are here watching Moulin Rouge with my mom. The movie, so far, is very forgettable. There are some funny parts, but for the most part it is a very mushy movie. Love, Love, Love. That's all they talk about. It's as if all you need is love to live. Yeah, wait til she dies of TB or whatever the fuck she has. See what love does then. There's nothing like 21st century health care.

This makes no sense.

I watched World Idol tonight. Very good and interesting show. I think that Kelly Clarkson is going to win. I am also pretty sure that the backers of the World Idol competition are counting on Kelly to win. She is by far the best singer out of all of them. The Canadian judge didn't think so, but, after all, he is Canadian.

I really like So Co.

Tomorrow is Festivist. I am really looking forward to it. I wonder who got me!?!?

One Hundred Seventy-Second Entry

Big earthquake today at the Coast.

I was just sitting at work when I heard this noise that sounded the maintenance guys when they are up on the roof fixing something. Except it lasted a lot longer and was a lot louder. My first instinct was to dive under my desk, but I waited a few seconds and decided that the quake was not strong enough to knock anything over. I just sat there and enjoyed the ride.

After it was over, I logged on to the USGS website to check out the earthquake. 6.5 magnitude it said. Whoa, very strong. Very strong indeed.

Office-wide discussion ensued, and being the dorky engineers we are, we tried to figure out how much our building swayed during the quake. We never quite got that far, but the consensus was somewhere between 4-6 inches at the roof level. The discussion moved on to largest probable earthquake in the Visalia area. Again, the dorky engineer in us turned to my 2000 International Building Code where the maximum probably earthquake acceleration we can expect here is something like 45% of g (32.2 ft/s2 or 9.81 m/s2 for the metrically minded). Not too terrible. Then I checked the Bay Area, specifically southwestern Alameda County and they can expect an event with an acceleration of 150% of g. Sheesh. That's a killer.

Once discussion died down, it was already lunch time. Everybody went on about their business. I kept refreshing the earthquake list to track the aftershocks. There are hundreds and hundreds of them!

I also read some articles on the quake online. 3 people died. Very sad.

In other news:

- I dropped off all the presents I needed to today. I am pleased with that accomplishment. I tried to deliver everything yesterday, but noone was home! Imagine that! My grandpa really liked the lottery tickets I got him. He tried to scratch them, but quickly gave up and asked me to do it. He's never scratched a scratcher before! Only two of the tickets gave money for a total of $4.00. He was excited when I told him that he won $4.00. So was my grandma. It was a regular happy-fest. Then he asked me how much the 10 tickets cost. "Ai, perdeste seis dolares." "Sim vo, eu sei." Such FOB's.

- My performance review should be coming up in the next few weeks. I will pass, of course. If I wasn't going to pass, they would have told me that I needed to shape up already. The only thing I am going to get dinged for is punctuality. And I live so close to work. It's the fog I tell ya...

- Yesterday at WalMart (which was a madhouse) I saw something that I have never seen before. Some kid jumped out of his pop's truck and stood in a parking spot to reserve it until his pop could get to it. Next thing you know, some Acura, unaware of the kids plan, tries to park in the spot. Havoc ensues. Honking. Yelling. Thank God I was leaving. The Acura ended up getting the spot anyway. Dumbass.

- Very much looking forward to Christmas this year. I am giving a record number of presents this year. My credit card needs to be retired soon.

- Has anyone heard the remake of Tears for Fears song "Mad World"? It's by Gary Jules, and believe me, this song will tear your heart out and stab 10 foot long spikes through it. It's good though.

See y'all Friday.

One Hundred Seventy-First Entry

I had a brainstorm this week.

As of this coming January I will be studying hard core for my PE license test in October. I will not use any vacation time, except for Louis' wedding of course. My vacation balance will grow and grow.

After the test, there are plenty of holidays where I can get away without using vacation time(Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, Xmas, MLK Jr. Bday). I should find out the results in January 2005.

In February 2005 I will have a huge vacation balance(as huge as a Gov't vacation balance can get). Approx. 2.5 weeks. Ash Wednesday is February 9, 2005, and Carnival is the huge party in the days preceeding it....two and a half weeks of vacation....just finishing the hardest exam in my life.......Mardi Gras!!!in Brasil!!!

I know it is still a little over a year until 2/2005, but the idea of going to a tropical paradise in the middle of our winter and partying like I've never partied before is really exciting!

I just thought I'd share and perhaps pique your interest.

One Hundred Seventieth Entry

I would like to ask anyone if they have an extra calendar. I don't have one for next year at home, and would like one for planning purposes.

That is all.

One Hundred Sixty-Ninth Entry

I drove back to Tulare today. It was an uneventful drive.

I got home, unloaded my truck and then went to Target in Visalia. I was looking for more Christmas Crackers like the ones I found at the Target in San Leandro (they were the last box in the whole store!). Well, I couldn't find that particular style, but I did find some ice blue ones with snowflakes on them. Very cool. They had tons of them. I bought two packs of 8, for $8.

So now I have 24 Christmas Crackers. I think I will use them at my grandparents Christmas dinner. There will probably be 20 of us there. The rest I'll take to work.

Good night.

One Hundred Sixty-Eighth Entry

It's that time of year...

Paula called me on Monday asking if Jen was coming down. I was confused as to which Jen.

The Jen that went to the snow! Ohhh.

Paula is going to the snow this weekend. The snow is all over the place in the mountains. But not at the place we went to last time. Hopefully by the end of this month/beginning of next there will be snow at Camp Nelson.

She asked me if I wanted to go, I said no, I am going up north this weekend.

Anyway, I want this blog to serve as an open invitation to my house this winter for anyone who wants to go to the snow some weekend.

That is all.

One Hundred Sixty-Seventh Entry

My apartment is so clean! My mom can do wonders.

One Hundred Sixty-Sixth Entry

It's official, I am coming home on Saturday. Firmino's play is the main attraction. If anyone is interested, let me know. The show I am going to is Saturday night at 8pm. It promises to be fun. My mom was raving about it the other day.

In case anyone is interested:

"Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All"
The Actors Theatre, Stage Two
533 Sutter St., San Francisco
December 5-28, Thurs, Fri, Sat @8pm, Sun @5pm (No Show on 25th)
$15 a ticket
Call 415-345-7575 for reservations.

Like I said, I will be at the show this Saturday, and I will go to the show on the 27th.

Firmino is really excited about this play and would really love it if you see it.

*****

Tomorrow is Gloria's next to the last day at work. Sniff, sniff. She is one of the nicest people at work. Even though she is only moving downstairs, her presence will be missed. So will her Atkins cooking.

Prediction: Gloria's departure will create a huge overload for the three remaining drafters and a giant backlog of work will develop. Intra-office tension is imminent and inevitable. At least until a replacement is hired.

As a farewell, the Design Division is taking her out to lunch at Mimi's Cafe (it was my idea (brownie points for me)). I haven't been there since it opened. I wonder if they have Atkins stuff.

One Hundred Sixty-Fifth Entry

Rouja, I am disappointed in you.

*****

I ironed for the first time by myself today. Yes folks, in all the years I have lived on my own, I have depended on the kindness of others and hanging or folding things up immediately after laundry to keep my clothes wrinkle free. Well, today I decided it would be better for me to watch TV intently rather than do laundry.

Guess what? No more clean un-wrinkled clothes!

I perused my closet for something decent to wear. Nothing. I found a shirt that I really like, but wrinkles very easily, completely wrinkled. So, throwing caution to the wind (and a fire extinguisher nearby) I started on my ironing journey.

I love the steam button on my iron. I didn't have any water in it when I ironed, but later on I filled it up and played with it. Very cool. the sound it makes is very Star Wars. "Luke...I am your father."

My shirt is wrinkle-free and ready to go for tomorrow (it took me about half-an-hour). Unless it falls off of its hanger in the closet. Then I'm screwed.

I'm thinking of throwing a party to commemorate this occasion.

Thanks Amy!

One Hundred Sixty-Fifth Entry

I read Jen's most recent blog about her horoscope. And no Jen, it doesn't make sense to me. Perhaps a hint of sarcasm?

But it prompted me to check my horoscope for tomorrow:

December 9, 2003

Do countries abroad represent real openings for you, dear Gemini? This is a question that you will soon have to answer. It may be that this is true, but it may also be an illusion that gives you a simplistic explanation for the dissatisfaction that you feel in your professional life at the moment. Think about it, because some important decisions you are about to make will be depending on it. And you are not the only one to consider, either.

Very interesting. And very true.

It's probably just the post-vacation thing, but I would love nothing more than to pack it in and move across the "pond". But, as my horoscope points out, this is probably just an illusion to deal with my dissatisfaction with my current job.

Like I said, interesting.

One Hundred Sixty-Fourth Entry

Miolos.com

That is all.

One Hundred Sixty-Third Entry

Work was boring today. I am so over my job, and ready for a change. But that could be the post-vacation depression talking.

Jerry Springer Opera

Lisa and I started our Tube ride with much anticipation for the Opera about to begin. Well, I was bouncing off the walls, Lisa was more composed. We get off at the Covent Garden Tube Station and walk around for a bit. Lisa asks a local merchant where the Cambridge Theatre is. We walk up the street a bit and turn the corner. Just a little further down, in bright neon lights, we see, "JERRY JERRY". I was home.

We get to the Will Call and collect our tickets. We have about half an hour to kill. We walk around and check out the Seven Dials area. Lots of cool looking stores. I found it to be a very indie area.

After about 25 minutes, we get back to the theater and wait for the doors to open.

The main doors open and we walk upstairs. There is a waiting area with a bar and sofas. The doors into the theater seats are still closed, and remain so for about 10 minutes. While we wait, the bar area fills to capacity. It got pretty stuffy in there.

Access to the theater seats opened and off we went to our seats. Decent seats. It would have been nicer to sit a little closer, but from where we were, we could see everything.

Over the speakers they were playing music. Very nice. The theater was probably at about 70% capacity when the lights dimmed and the music started.

From the second the music started to the very last second of the opera, it was a laugh-fest. It was a HILARIOUS show! With songs like "Poop Your Pants" and "Mama Gimme Smack on the Asshole", how could it go wrong?!? I think I enjoyed the Opera a lot more than Lisa did. And I must admit, it was a really rude and crude production and a lot of people would be offended by it.

The first half was Jerry's show. The actor looked and sounded exactly like Jerry Springer! It was freaky. There were guests and fights and Steve and the audience and commercials. It was hilarious. At the end of the first half, Jerry gets shot by a man who gets sexually excited when he wears diapers and poops his pants.

At the beginning of the second half, Jerry is in purgatory. He is transported to Hell by the devil himself. When in Hell, he is informed by the devil that he is going to host one last Jerry Springer Show. The devil is going to be the main guest. And guess what he wants...an apology from Jesus!

Not for the religious and faint of heart.

Nevertheless, Lisa and I enjoyed it. I would definitely see it if it came to the States, but we figured it would never make it to the US.

The End

One Hundred Sixty-Second Entry

Left work early today. I didn't feel that good. I think it's post-vacation depression. Don't worry, my life is in no danger.

Thought I should write this funny story into my blog.

The Last Night in London

Last Friday, I got back to the Astor Hyde Hostel in London and met up with Lisa. We got our dirty laundry together and did laundry at a laundrette down the street about 5 minutes. After that, we went back to the hostel and up to our room to start packing. Our plane leaves at 11am the following day.

Our plan was to wake up at 6am, get ready and be at the airport by 8am. Good plan.

Our Italian roommate Stefano comes in and informs us we are going to go downstairs to the bar and drink some beer. Lisa and I try to tell him that we have to get up really early, but you know those Italians...persistent. We cave and start to go to the bar. Lisa remembers that she needs to buy a magazine and goes out to a news agent on Queensway. So that leaves me and Stefano going drinking in the bar.

We drink, we smoke. There are not that many people in the bar. It was only 10pm. Two of Stefano's countrymen arrive in the bar and he tells them how he taught Lisa and I Italian cuss words. I have to practice my Italian for them. "Succia il mi cazzo, figlio di puttana!", "Vafanculo" and "Faccia di merda" are my favorites. A little while later, Stefano remembers what he calls the most important Italian word, "Pompino". (I will not sink to the level of writing their translations in English...I'll let this website do it for me. Italian Cuss Words

After a while (another pint and three or four cigarrettes), Stefano leaves and goes to pick up a friend that is staying at another hostel. He tells me to wait for a ten minutes. I says OK, fulling intending on leaving as soon as he does and going to sleep. He takes off, and I finish my pint and cigarrette, when a Scottish guy comes and plops himself down on the seat next to me. He asks the barkeep for a pen and paper. He starts to write a note. It reads: "Excuse me, but will the hat buy you a drink?" I could barely keep from laughing. He was wearing a very Lisa-esque ear-hat, but twice as big (it must get colder in Scotland).

He turns and asks me if he spelt 'excuse' right. I said yes. He takes off into the next room and comes back without his hat. Almost immediately, he expresses regret for leaving his hat. "Ah should've ahsked fu me 'aht bahck!" I nearly split at the seams! (At this point I just finished my third pint) I told the guy he needs to go get his "aht bahck". Sensing some good comedy, I went ahead and ordered another pint.

The Scot went back and got his hat. I asked him if his note worked. He murmured something incoherent and inaudible. I asked him to repeat. Again, incoherent and inaudible. I just started laughing and he said something about his accent. We talked for a little bit. It was really hard to understand anything he said!

A few minutes later, the girls he was trying to buy drinks for came to the bar. He turned to me and said "Thaht's 'em!" He takes off his hat and askes Fabio, one of Stefano's friends to pass it down the bar. Fabio passes it to Antonio, another of Stefano's friends. Antonio doesn't know what to do with the funny 'at. He looks at the Scot with a look of bewilderment that just cracks us up. The Scot tells him to put it on the stool beside him.

The Scot yells at the girls and points to his hat. They give him the weirdo eyeroll and a half smile. He dismisses it and gets his hat back. The girls get their drinks. The Scot motions them over. They come over and we start chatting. Celia, from New Zealand, and Laura, from Washington DC. Very nice girls. The Scot excuses himself because he is tired and needs to sleep. He takes off and I chat with the girls all by myself. Liquid Courage, don't fail me now.

We chatted for about an hour about tons of stuff. Celia is in London working in an Art Gallery as a receptionist. Laura is in London working as a Tele Marketer, asking people about whether or not they like Rugby. Very interesting! The whole time in my head..."pompino, pompino". Definitely Laura, but possibly Celia.

We had a very interesting conversation. I bought them a drink each, and another for myself, my last for the night (I needed to save at least four pounds for the Tube Extension to the airport). After a while, I realized that a "pompino" was not in the cards. So I just enjoyed the company from then on.

After a while, I excused myself and went to the toilet. After what must have been the world record for the longest urination, I returned to the two girls and we talked some more. Their mental patient of a roommate Jean-Batiste showed up after work and talked for a while. He was easier to understand than the Scottish guy, but that's not saying much. Jean only stayed for one pint and went to sleep.

After about 'alf 'our, Celia and Laura decided it was time to go to bed. I bid them good night and good luck with their jobs. I looked at my watch, half past two. Jesus. "Lisa's gonna kill me for sure."

I stumbled upstairs and snuck into the room. Lisa was asleep. I quietly laid on my bed and awoke to Lisa waking me up, three and a half hours later. Time to go to the airport.

The End

One Hundred Sixty-First Entry

It's good to use a regular keyboard where the shift keys are the normal size and the 'at' symbol is above the 2.

I got up at six this morning. I don't know why. I'm just fully rested. I will take advantage of this and get ready to go home to Tulare.

The 10 day trip to Europe was absolutely what I needed. It was a much more chill vacation since both Lisa and I have been to London and Paris before, and we knew exactly what we wanted to see.

Paris

Paris is definitely a city for lovers. Everywhere you look there were people making out and enjoying Paris' romance.

The Eiffel Tower at night was fun to see. I had never been to the top of it and had never been there at night. It was also great to walk down the Champs Elysees at night and see all the lights and people.

There was a lot of walking in Paris. And a lot of confusing Metro. We learned to hate the Chatelet station.

We walked through the Cimetiere Pere-Lachaise and found Jim Morrison's grave and found several street markets with vendors selling their French wares.

We got along fine with the Frenchfolk and between the two of us, knew enough French to ask for things and directions.

The food in France was good. Quick was my favorite meal. Quick is the French McDonalds, but there are more McDonalds than Quick's.

Sleeping arrangements were also good in Paris. The floor of our room had "bugs" all over it. Lisa swore they were bugs, but I thought they were just little black skid-type things from shoes and the like.

London

Before the trip London was my favorite city in the world. After the trip it is even more my favorite city in the world. There is tons to see and do in London. I could see myself living there permanently or on a work visa.

I really like the anonymity of the city. It has 12 million people living in and around it. It is very easy to get lost in the crowd. Everybody is in a hurry all of the time, and has no time to care what anyone else is doing. I love that.

London at night is really cool. I didn't get to experience the streets at night the last time I was there. It is a very busy city at night.

A lot of walking was done in London. Almost too much. It was worth it though. Hyde Park, the South Bank, Oxford Street. These are all worth walking on.

The food was good, although by this time Lisa was sick and tired of chips. I didn't mind them so much.

Stonehenge was somewhat of a let down. I expected some monumental structure of rock so wide and tall you couldn't fit it all into one photo. I wasn't that impressed. I enjoyed the ride there in the double-decker bus more, at the top of course!

The Tube in London was less of a maze than the Metro in Paris. But much more busy. The Bank/Monument station is realllllllly long and it takes forever to get from one end to the other.

Jerry Springer Opera rocked! Graham Norton was hilarious!

Lunch at the New Scotland Yard with Tony, Lucy, Bernie, and Peter was fun for us. The food was great and the ambiance was very frou-frou. There were three different forks and spoons!

England has got to be the single largest alcohol consuming country in the world. Everyone goes "down the pub" to grab a quick pint or two after work. I love that. And I gladly joined them in their drinking.

All told, it was a very good trip, and I'm glad I was with someone I get along with and trust.

I'm sure I will write more entries as the stories come to me. But I think this is a good starting synopsis.

If you want the play-by-play, check out Lisa's blog as she will be transcribing her travel journal into cyberspace sometime soon.

One Hundred Sixtieth Entry

I am officially 85% done packing. The other 15% is a pair of pants, a sweater and A&W mugs. I think I over packed yet again. I will remove a pair of pants. I think four will be enough, including the ones I wear on the plane. Five shirts is good enough I think. The shoes are the ones on my feet, and the ones I will buy in London.

I don't know whats come over me, but I am starting to get into the shopping groove. Much shopping will be done in London on Oxford Street and Paris on the Champs Elysees.

Anyway, I am nearly packed. Better get back to it.

Another thing, if anyone wants anything from there, let me know. I have a short list of requests from work and family.

One Hundred Fifty-Ninth Entry

Dear Jen,

I read about your troubles in the induction phase of the Atkins diet. Yes most of the weight you lose on the Atkins Induction Phase is water, but that is weight you don't have to carry around! And once you get stuck in and keep up the routine, the diet will work better!

Your Twix cravings will pass, and be glad you aren't eating Taco Bell or Arby's all the time.

Your friend,

Phil

I ran all over the central valley today looking for hardwood flooring. Well...all over Tulare and Kings Counties. I ended up finding what I needed at the Hanford Home Depot. $715 for 18 boxes of Red Oak, Natural hardwood flooring. 36 bucks each. I was assured by several people that it was a good price for the flooring. Ok...if you say so. Sounds like a lot to me.

In other news...Europe 2003 is just around the corner! I believe it will be a great success. I bought some new clothes to take.


*********************

It's over. It's officially over.

I guess I thought you'd be here forever
Another illusion I chose to create
You don't know what ya got until it's gone
And I found out just a little too late

I was acting as if you were lucky to have me
Doin' you a favor, I hardly knew you were there
But then you were gone and it all was wrong
Had no idea how much I cared

Now being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
But I don't want to
Living without you
Is all a big mistake
Instead of getting easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to ya babe
You're a hard habit to break

You found someone else you had every reason
You know I can't blame you for runnin' to him
Two people together but living alone
I was spreading my love too thin

After all of these years
I'm still tryin' to shake it
Doin' much better, they say that it just takes time
But deep in the night it's an endless fight
I can't get ya out of my mind

Being without you Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
I don't want to
Being without you
Is all a big mistake
Instead of getting any easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to you
You're a hard habit to break

"Hard Habit to Break"
by Chicago

One Hundred Fifty-Eighth Entry

Moooo....

I feel like a cow today. Not in physical appearance (debatable), but in mood. I should be more excited about my Europe trip, but I am not. I just feel...hmmph. It's going to be a blah blah day.

Went to Walmart this morning.

I called Lisa to ask her if I forgot anything. I have pretty much everything she suggested.

My new beanies are cool. I need a scarf and gloves.

One Hundred Fifty-Seventh Entry

This is one of the funniest things I have read in a long, long time.

Resurrection

One Hundred Fifty-Sixth Entry

Too sad to sleep...

I'm here
Just like I said
Though its breaking every rule I've ever made
My racin' heart
Is just the same
Why make it strong to break it once again?

And I'd love to say I do
Give everything to you
But I can never now be true
So I say

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I'm here
So please explain
Why you're openin' up a healin' wound again
I'm a little more careful
Perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows

Now I tremble in your arms
What could be the harm
To feel my spirit calm
So I say

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I wouldn't know how to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back
Now you say your right on track

But you may never know why
Once bitten twice is shy
If I'm proud perhaps I should explain
I couldn't bear to lose you again

I think I better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feelin' weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

"Leave Right Now"
Will Young

One Hundred Fifty-Fifth Entry

I am not ready to leave next week. So much to do/buy.

Today was a deadly day at work. I was extremely bored until my boss gave me a fun project to work on with about 1.5 hours to go in the day. I worked on it for the rest of the afternoon.

Thank God tomorrow is a short work day.

Oh yeah, if anyone wants anything from London/Paris, let me know. I am not bringing back anything for anyone but myself, unless it is asked for. If you've already asked me for something, email it to me, because I forgot. :)

One Hundred Fifty-Fourth Entry

Listening to my Stereophonics CD...

dancing
in the mirror
you could see her from a mile man
she was alrite
she looked right over her shoulder
right at me
i was falling through the floor now
she came over me

help me oh help me
shes out of her mind
help me oh help me
somebody

laughing, all night
she could tell a funny story
she could stay up all nite
she was someone to remember
she was black and white
we did it on a sunbed
and she did it right

help me oh help me
shes out of her mind
help me somebody
oh help me

prancing, around a low lit light
running rags over her shoulders
red chili lights
she'd drink you underneath the table
she'd hold you heavenly tight
slap you right across ya white face
she'd make you cry like a child

help me, oh help me
shes out of her mind
help me so help me
somebody

crazy out of her mind
you wanna shoot her wanna love her
you can't make up your mind
you wanna tell her all your stories
you wanna open your mind
you wanna show her how your heart works
but you aint got the time

fighting all of the time
cuz nothing working nothing gaining
just a waste of time
you're trying hard to remember
all the beautiful times
but ya clouded by the bullshit
all of the time

loving on a Saturday nite
making love under a blanket
with the telly on loud
you wanna show her that you love her
but theres sex on ya mind
you makin love from watching movies
i think im doin it right

help me oh help me
shes out of her mind
help me so help me
somebody

"Help Me"
Stereophonics

Makes you wanna get down and dirty, doesn't it. Download it, listen to it, get down.

One Hundred Fifty-Third Entry

Happy Veterans Day everyone.

I am absolutely thrilled I don't have to work tomorrow. It's supposed to be foggy, but that won't stop me from enjoying it. I think I may go watch a movie or two. Scott at work said "Second-hand Lion" was a very good movie, and Gloria agreed. I will watch either that or "Matrix:Revolutions". Or maybe "Love Actually". I read a review on it that was very very positive.

I'll pull a Jen and pay for one and see them all. Just kidding.

I need to get a Day Runner. I'll probably stop at Office Depot before the movies and pick one up.

For those of you with the day off tomorrow, have fun. For those of you that have to work, Haha, Suckers!!

One Hundred Fifty-Second Entry

This weekend was a blast. I had so much fun, with friends/family. It was a great weekend. I thought about calling in sick tomorrow to make it a four day weekend, but decided against it. Too much fun can be a bad thing. :)

Tomorrow everything goes back to normal. I hope my fish aren't dead. If they are, well, I will have to have another service for them like I did for George and Martha. I think I'll name my next dead fish Wallace. No reason.

This weekend was a nice diversion, but it still hurts.

One Hundred Fifty-First Entry

Have you ever wanted something you couldn't have, so badly it hurt?

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

One Hundred Fiftieth Entry

Catch a star, if you can
Wish for something special
Let it be me, my love is free

Sing a song, to yourself
Think of someone listening
One melody, you're all for me

I'll write a symphony just for you and me
If you let me love you, I'll paint a masterpiece
Just for you to see
If you let me love you, let me love you

Are you ready, are you ready for love?
Yes I am
Are you, are you ready, are you ready for love?
Yes I am
Are you, are you ready, are you ready for love?

You're the one, like the sun
Shine your love around me
You'll always be, the one for me

Say the word and I'll be there
Loving you forever
Don't let me go
Just say it's so

We'll hear the music ring from the mountain tops
To the valley below us
We'll serenade the world
With a lullaby so the angels will know us
Angels will know us

Are you ready, are you ready for love?
Yes I am
Are you, are you ready, are you ready for love?
Yes I am
Are you, are you ready, are you ready for love?
Love

"Are You Ready For Love"
by Elton John

One Hundred Forty-Ninth Entry

I really had a lot of fun this weekend.

Halloween Party at Louis' was a lot of fun. It was good to hang out with everyone.

Saturday was a half family/half friends day. Breakfast and bonding with family. Dinner and bonding with friends.

Sunday was a treat. Family and I went to His Lordship's in Berkeley at the Marina. It is a very nice restaurant. Today was Brunch Buffet. It was good. After that I went on down to Union City and met Jen at Century 25. We watched "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". I was scared, but not nearly as scared as Jen! She kept jumping and pushing on me when something happened...oh wait, that was me.

Tomorrow starts another week at work. At least it is going to be cold this week.

One Hundred Forty-Eighth Entry

Tomorrow is going to be the first below 80 deg. day since April. I am very looking forward to it. I think I just may take a jacket to work. It's supposed to get up to 68, not too cold, maybe a jacket isn't necessary.

Work today was lame. I spent a majority of the day avoiding work and attending a health benefits seminar concerning our new Blue Shield bennies. They suck, as they always do, and the county share is measly. I will probably have to get a smaller paycheck just so I can avoid paying a $1000 deductable per year. Oh well.

I watched "My Cousin Vinny" this weekend. The funniest movie I have seen in a great while! If you haven't seen it, watch it!!

I can't wait until Friday! Halloween!! I think everyone is going to get freaked out at work when they see me. I need to buy an umbrella. It's gonna rain Friday. I wouldn't want to jack up my hair. And what about trick-or-treating? That is gonna suck if its raining!

One Hundred Forty-Seventh Entry

Apparantly, my phone call with Lisa, as she flirted with death crossing Hesperian last Friday, is the first known case of electronically transmitting a disease. I have researched this and I can't find another case of its kind anywhere.

I am officially on sick leave today. I feel like ish. I am not running a fever or anything, but I am completely congested and have a minor ache in my left arm. I suppose I could be having a stroke, but I think I just slept on it wrong. I am diagnosing it as a head cold. Thank you Lisa.

I left early yesterday from work(My check out board excuse for leaving is "Diseased". They didn't like it too much the last time I was sick and wrote "SARS"). Really shouldn't have been there anyway. The only reason I went in was because I had a meeting with my boss and Redevelopment about a cost estimate I ended up throwing together yesterday morning. It's shit as far as formatting goes(my ugliest work yet), but pretty accurate. Did you know that you cost Sidewalk Installation as a square foot quantity? Did you know that it runs $1500 to construct a curb ramp complete with detectable warning surfaces?

**********

If any of you have dish network/directv/digital cable, I have a show to recommend to you. It is called "The Office", and it is on BBC America. I can hear it now, "BBC? I hate England TV shows." But this one is absolutely hilarious. It hurts to watch because of some of the situations. Think of the worst boss you ever had, multiply by 12 and you have the main character on this show. Check it out...The Office.

I got up this morning to news of the wildfires in LA. I guess I won't be going there anytime soon.

Last night I experimented with my faux earrings. I tried gluing them on with eyelash glue, as was suggested by Gloria at work, but it doesn't work. So then I tried with super glue and it worked, of course. It took me about 15 minutes to get it off, but it stuck. If I can't come up with anything else, that is what I will use.

I also made a hematite necklace for my costume, bought the clothes I need(including wallet chain), bought the makeup, and got the sculpting gel. And I didn't need to go to Hot Topic! I will probably get into full costume today to see how it looks. Paula will probably help me out with it Friday morning, cuz I haven't a clue when it comes to nail polish. I love Halloween. I am actually going Trick-or-Treating on Friday with Paula, her kids and Igo. I went last year, but my costume was very last minute. This year, a lot of planning. Lisa would be proud.

One Hundred Forty-Sixth Entry

I just found two pretty cool websites that some of you may find interesting.

www.pollstar.com --- A website with every bands tour dates and stuff. Very cool.

uk.maps.yahoo.com --- A Yahoo!Maps for England. Very cool too.

Happy surfing!

One Hundred Forty-Fifth Entry

Marlins win the Series!!!!!!!!!

Louis was here today. He drove up this morning and left about 3 hours ago. It was good to spend some time with him. We ate, drank and were merry. I only wish he could have stayed longer.

Summer is supposedly coming to a close this week. The first below 80 day since April is scheduled for this Thursday. A 77. Very nice. And its all downhill from there. By the end of November, the Central Valley will be shrouded in fog...I love it!

I'm going to be a Punk Rocker for Halloween. I am going all black (including hair) with an almost too inappropriate shirt to take to work. It will be perfect!

Marlins win the Series!!!!!!!!!

One Hundred Forty-Fourth Entry

I did absolutely nothing at work today except walk around and get everyone excited about Best Buy opening today! I looked up their website to see if they had any specials for today, but nothing. I got off of work at 11:15 and made a beeline to Best Buy. It was sensory overload from the moment I walked in the door. It was pretty packed with people and there were almost as many salespeople. Every single worker I passed smiled and asked if I needed help. It was getting annoying toward the end of my hourlong visit. So much to see and play with!

All I bought was the new Seal CD. The only songs I heard from it previously were "Get It Together", "Waiting for You" and "My Vision". Very good songs, so I thought I'd take a chance on the CD. So far, so good.

After Best Buy, I went to the new Target Greatland and looked for a travel clock. Very expensive! I'd be better off just using my cell phone. So I just bought some Advantage Bars...yumm.

One Hundred Forty-Third Entry

The Marlins are one win away from getting rid of the evil Yankees and taking the world title of baseball!

Work today was very busy. My memo is awaiting me with the first round of corrections and revisions made by my super. Pretty much the whole day was spent on a preliminary estimate for my sidewalk project in Cutler and Orosi. I thought I had to have it done by tomorrow, but I got a call at the end of my day delaying the estimates delivery til next Monday. Good. I wasn't going to have it done tomorrow anyway. Work was much more interesting today than it has been for the last couple weeks. I learned a lot today about landscaping in the State's right of way. It may not sound interesting to you folks, but I thought it was pretty interesting.

Tomorrow will be spent working on my estimate more and polishing off the memo.

One Hundred Forty-Second Entry

Marlins win game four!!! There is a God!! The Yankees must DIE!!!

I was ready to quit my job today. I was so pissed off at everyone and frustrated with everything.

Story goes:

Monday morning I got an assignment from my boss: "Write a memo that I am going to send to my boss who is going to send it to the Road Commissioner, about curb ramps and what standards we are using." Fair enough. As far as everyone else in the office is concerned, I know the most about the requirements and standards for curb ramps, both state and federal. I don't know everything, but a lot, and certainly the most out of anyone I work with. I get started, kinda half work on it, while working on something else. Marcia (my boss) comes back and tells me that she needs this memo in like two days. Oh, OK. I start working on it full time. Fast-Forward

Yesterday I get to work and worked on the memo. About half an hour before lunch, I discovered to my horror, two things that somehow were overlooked by both me and anyone else who has reviewed anything at all concerning the curb ramp guidelines. I started stressing. I was on the verge yesterday. I put the two issues aside and continued to work on other parts of the memo that weren't affected by my discoveries. I finished those. Fast-Forward

Today I got to work and was determined to talk to Marcia about the issues. I was nervous. I don't know if any of you have ever had to go to your boss and take responsibility for something you fucked up on, but I thought I was getting pretty used to that. It never gets any easier.

I went into her office and told her I have some bad news. She said uh-oh. I told her it was about curb ramps. She gave a sigh of relief and said she thought I was gonna tell her I got a hot new job up in the Bay Area! Whew... I told her the problem. She said it wasn't a problem, that it was outside the project limits. I told her that the regs require it, but she shot me down again. What a relief!! Off the hook.

I continued writing the memo and kept getting bombarded with requests from all over the place. I needed to get this memo done by the end of the day but couldn't for all the people that kept bugging me. By the middle of this afternoon, I was burned out. I wanted to go home. I was past the verge and ready to go Osama on everyone. I went outside and took a break. I cooled down and got back to my office. I finished the memo at 5:30. I went to take it to Marcia, and she was walking down the hall saying "See you next Monday, I'm off to LA."

Shit.

So at least I got the memo done.

I think a lot of this stress is from my first full week on non-smoker status. I start my second week of "patching" tomorrow.

Some good news:

The Roach Coach company sent out another truck for us! After a month long absence, we have a truck again! I bought a bottle of water this morning and a chef's salad at lunch. Pretty cheap.

Some other good news:

Bill at work celebrated the 5th anniversary of his heart attack today! What did he do to celebrate? Well, what everyone else does to celebrate a milestone at the County...he brought in donuts.

Marlins Win!!

One Hundred Forty-First Entry

I found out today that I have to work at the county for at least another 2 years. That is when I should know whether or not I passed the PE exam that I will take April 2005!!!. I previously thought I was going to take it October of next year. I nearly cried when I discovered that I would have to work here for another 6 months. I decided that once I return from Europe, I would start looking for another job. I don't know how long I can take much more of this job.

On a lighter note, I had dinner at BT's a very good mexican restaurant in Visalia. I had an all meat burrito with guac, sour cream, lettuce and cheese. Mmmm mmm.

I stopped at Costco on my way to dinner and got four cases of bottled water to take to work. I like Costco. I browsed through the CD's and DVD's, but was good an' di'n't buy nuthin'.

I am getting excited for my trip to Europe. I can't wait 'til 11-19!

One Hundred Fortieth Entry

The more I listen to the new Travis CD, the more convinced I am that this is one of my favorite CD's. By far my favorite song is Beautiful Occupation. It's a protest song against the war in Iraq. Very nice. Good lyrics. Re-offender is another great track.

I played Sims all day today and yesterday. Great fun. Since I bought my new computer, I hadn't installed the Sims, so I am having to start anew. It's fun.

The Yankees lost last night. I am soooo happy! They are winning 4-0 right now, but its only the third inning.

I spoke with Mylinh today. She is doing well. She likes Vietnam. She asked about "The Gang" and sends her love to all.

Did you know it costs $5.00 a minute to call to Vietnam if you don't have any of those fancy int'l calling plans? Well it does.

I have decided to take a laid back approach to work. Yeah it is boring me stiff. And yeah I can't get anywhere at the County unless someone leaves (not gonna happen) or dies. But I only have to be here for one and a half more years! My stay in Tulare is very nearly half over.

My boss and supervisor at work were trying to convince me to enter a Masters program with them. We were talking about the GRE and stuff. I think it is a masters in Public Administration, which is completely worthless unless you plan on working in the Public Sector for the rest of your life. Which I don't

Did I tell you about Adam's job? He has the ultimate coolest Civil Engineering job. I am sooooo jealous. He works for Provost and Pritchard in Fresno. They get two bonuses a year which are a certain percentage of your salary. They have a really cool breakroom with Ping-Pong and the like. They get one $50 gift certificate to the store of their choice every month (Adam chose Home Depot). Every five years that a person has worked there, they get "roasted", which sounds really cool. They have company picnics and a softball team. And the ass kicker...if Adam referred me to work there and I got hired, he would get $1000! He already promised me $300 of it. I wish I worked there. The thing is that the type of Civil Engineering that they do is not the type I like doing. Besides, they aren't hiring.

Gotta go, The Office is on.

One Hundred Thirty-Ninth Entry

Yankees and Marlins are in the World Series. I am very disappointed.

Adam came to Tulare tonight. I like hanging out with Adam. We went to Joe's Place Mexican Restaurant and it was goooood. I ate way too many carbs. Then we went to Walmart and I bought soap.

One Hundred Thirty-Eighth Entry

Red Sox lost tonight...sniff. It doesn't look good for the Sox. I may have to Cowboy down by the end of the week.

For some reason summer is clinging to Tulare with all its might. It is supposed to be in the mid-80' from Friday to next Thursday. I am sick of it! On the bright side, we are scheduled to have our first below 80 degree day on Thursday. Relief!!!

Today was full of beautiful sights. On my drive to work, I noticed that the harvested, barren fields had a thin layer (approx. 4 feet thick) of fog! It was really cool. And then, on my way to play tennis tonight, I was driving down Tulare Avenue just as the sun was setting at the end of Tulare Avenue. It was a huge bright orange ball, slowly crawling into the western horizon right in front of me. Very beautiful.

Work was good today. I was busy. I called people at Disabled Student Services at Cal Poly, the Mayor's Council on Disability in San Francisco, and the Curb Ramp contact for the City of Phoenix. They were all very cordial and eager to help, but didn't. I need to call Phoenix again tomorrow. I wonder if they are hiring???

One Hundred Thirty-Seventh Entry

Red Sox won tonight. Pretty exciting towards the end. I need to see a Sox-Cubs World Series. The two great curses go head to head. Think of it!

And whats up with the niners? What are they, 2-5? Worst start in the last 2 decades, I'm sure.

Work was good today. I got to talk with a nice lady that works for the City of Scottsdale, AZ. She was very nice. I should have asked her if they were hiring engineers.

Blas at work asked me if I was Pro-Choice, or Pro-Life. As that is inappropriate conversation for the workplace, and I didn't want to have a long drawn out bible discussion, I told him I was Pro-Life. Please don't hold that against me, I was under great emotional duress...he was slamming the Bay Area, my home and my peoples, for being ulta-liberal. Please, if he thinks being pro-choice is ultra-liberal, I wonder what he thinks of gay marriages? Super-duper-ultra liberal??

Major drama of the month(not as big as Jens major drama, but drama nonetheless): One of the drafters was not at work today. He didn't even call in sick. The head drafter had to call his dad, who works at the other end of our building. In any case, he was a no-show.

Fast-Forward 5 hours

I went downstairs to get everyones mail, and I happened to glance at a sheet of paper that, at the top, had the word Delinquent, and further down included the name of the missing drafter.

No doubt that was from the payroll department saying that he had no more sick leave or vacation, and didn't make his 40 hours last week. That coupled with his missing 9 hours today, and his previous warning from the management that if he ever took leave without having any leave in his bank he would be terminated, surely means someones head is gonna roll.

Will keep y'all posted.

Cowboy up!

One Hundred Thirty-Sixth Entry

I've done it again.

Target Greatland opened this week. I have been awaiting the opening of Target Greatland ever since I saw the sign that it was coming.

Target Greatland is huge! You could stand at one end of it and not see the other for the curvature of the earth!

I went there tonight. I spent money I don't have. I bought a dart board! I bought the new Sim City expansion pack! I bought three puzzles! I bought $50 dollars worth of Atkins bars! I bought ziploc bags! in two sizes!!

Depression shopping sure sucks the account dry, but feels oh so good!!!

One Hundred Thirty-Fifth Entry

I hate work. I love the people, but I hate the work. Today I was stuck using a planimeter all day. You run the planimeter around the outline of a shape, and it tells you the area in square inches. It is a mechanical integrater (think calculus). I was excited about it at first (a mechanical integrater! who'd a thought!!) but after the fourth hour of mechanically integrating landfill closure x-sections, I was tired of it. And that is not the most boring and tedious thing I could have done today!

I still get the "you're late" reminders from my supervisor, and they are still annoying.

If things don't change soon, I am leaving. I don't know how much more I can take.

One Hundred Thirty-Fourth Entry

It is a sad, sad day for politics.

I voted this morning. No's all the way.

For two days in a row, I rooted for the loser.

And now we have to deal with a womanizing nazi-sympathizer in charge of Sacramento.

I'm getting a new job in another state before California, the land I loved, sinks into the Pacific.

One Hundred Thirty-Third Entry

I am heart broken.

The A's lost the Division Series.

I watched games three and four and the A's played pitifully, game 3 especially. Tejada and Byrnes are dumbasses. I wouldn't care one bit if Tejada left the team next year, as was hinted by the broadcasters. Byrnes is just a crybaby and should learn that there is no pain in the post-season. He should take a lesson from Durazo, who limped his way into second tonight on a double he hit.

The A's strike me as a young team. Most of the guys are not mature enough and seem to have that pretty-boy attitude that only loses pennants and stuff like that.

I must say that I am impressed by the Oakland pitching staff. They held their own throughout the series, and would have won the series if not for idiot mistakes by retards in game 3.

Oakland does not have as much offensive capability as I was expecting. They used to be such a power team.

Boston on the other hand has, what I think, a more mature and balanced team. They seemed confident and aware of their capabilities. The coaching staff also knows what its doing. They pulled tonights pitcher before he could do anymore damage. The A's coaching staff let Zito lose the game for them.

I hope the BoSox go on to beat the Yankees (I'm just tired of them), and win the World Series. They deserve to break the curse.

Cowboy Up!

One Hundred Thirty-Second Entry

This, ladies and gentlemen, will be my last blog for a long while. I have grown tired of having to journal in at least once or twice a week. The enjoyment and therapy that blogging offers has worn off, and I think I am doing it more for you guys. It became a question of "How can I entertain my readers for the five minutes I have their attention?" And that's not why I started blogging in the first place.

I wanted it to be a way for me to vent. I wanted to be able to say what I felt about anything and everything. I can't do that. I can't be as open as I want to be on my blog. I find myself pulling semi-Lisa's left and right by overusing pronouns instead of a name, in the way she uses initials. I have become overcautious in what I write because a lot of the thoughts I have could hurt quite a few people. But how am I supposed to vent if I can't write about my thoughts?

My co-worker Jane today made the comment that our generation is much more open than hers. She refers to my blog and our bosses daughters' blog saying that she and anyone in her generation would never have done that. I think that is a very interesting point. Our generation tends to wear our hearts on our sleeves. We are more touchy-feely than previous generations. Jane's generation tends to be a lot more wary of telling people anything and everything for fear of becoming vulnerable or hurting someone. I must say that I feel the same. I know I would get a severe adverse reaction if I made a negative comment about a friend.

So, in short, I don't want to blog for a while. I can't write what I really feel, so there is no purpose. I suppose I could start a secret blog that noone would know about, but the reason you blog is so others can read it, so that wouldn't work. I could just start a journal in a notepad and keep it under my pillow, but that would last all of three days.

Goodbye nice, kind world. I'll bitch at you another day.

One Hundred Thirty-First Entry

I feel helpless. I am torn. I find myself placed between two very tall mountains, and I don't know which to climb. I don't know what is on the other side of these mountains either; one could be a wide, beautiful valley with happiness and peace, and the other could be just the first in a long and neverending mountain range with sadness and turmoil.

I need to move. I am very unhappy in Tulare. I am disappointed with San Leandro. I need to move East, or North; Seattle, Boston or Atlanta.

I need to make a decision. And I need to make it fast before I end up getting stuck in a position I can't get out of.

My life is truly at a crossroads. The years of youthful naivety are behind me and the years of mature responsibility are ahead.

Where do I want to be at this point in my life?

One Hundred Thirtieth Entry

**Note: I just reread the blog, and it makes little sense to me, so good luck.

The last few weeks have been very trying at work. Along with getting behind in all my work, I feel I am under extra scrutiny from my Supervisor. I suppose it all started in late May...

~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~

I work in the Design/Graphics Division of the RMA, along with 6 other engineers. There are three other divisions which have engineers: Subdivisions/Flood Control, Traffic/Transit, and Construction. The engineers in the other divisions are all Engineer III's and above, no lowly Engineer I's like me. One of the Engineer 3's from the Subdivision Division took a job with the City of Visalia and left at the end of May. He was a good guy, a great engineer and everyone was pretty sorry to see him go.

That left an opening in the Subdivision Division for an E2 or E3. Attempts were made by the manager of that division to recruit an E2 or an E3 from within the county. Noone wanted to go.

In the middle of June, the work that the newly departed Engineer 3 was doing began being dumped on my division, with me doing a large portion of it. I slowly chugged along and got the extra work and my regular work done.

~~~~~~end flashback~~~~~~

Fast Forward to about three weeks ago. Interviews were held for the vacancy. The manager of Subdivisions did not like any of the candidates. He likes the position he is in with us having to do all the work.

That was about the time that my subdivision work started coming back, and things started to change.

I got back two of the jobs I had done. They had been reviewed thoroughly by my supervisor and by my manager. But the surveyors saw fit to comment and make changes to my designs. The bad thing is, they were right. How could the jobs be reviewed by two of my superiors and still be wrong? Well, it happened. I fixed the designs and resubmitted them.

About two weeks ago, I got what is called a Subdivision Map. A developer submits a map of a proposed subdivision, and the county makes comments on it. I just finished it on Tuesday. I gave it to my supervisor for his review. He then proceeded to tear apart my comments memo and wrote twice as many of his own. Talk about a confidence buster.

So this subdivision crap is one of the lenses of the "microscope of scrutiny" focused on me.

The second lens is with a little project that I am basically in charge of. Actually, it's a large project. It is for Caltrans, and believe it or not folks, this project of mine is of great statewide importance. It is the first of its kind. Usually, the state (Caltrans) designs its own projects. But in a rather bizarre twist, the state's planners want to avoid their own environmental branch of design and leave the design up to Tulare County. This is the first time they are trying anything like this. I am constantly being reminded that this project is "a pilot program" or "the first of its kind" or "of statewide importance" or "being watched carefully by the whole industry."

I have no problem with being a trailblazer. But on this project, I have to trailblaze through this with the laziest drafter in the history of drafting. I don't know what is wrong with him. He is always out on sick leave; he ran out of it this week. Every half-hour he walks (extra slowly) by my cube with his cup in hand on his way to the drinking fountain to get water. He is always tired and has permanent stoner eyes.

Last week, I needed him to do a lot of stuff that I needed basically the day before for a meeting a few days after. I knew that he had the capability and know how to do it on time. I left work late the night before the meeting without complete drawings in my hand, but assured that I would have them in the morning. What I didn't know was that he would call in sick the morning of the meeting and go to the doctor for some stomach problems he is having.

I got to work in the morning and did not see any drawings. Shit shit shit shit. I walk over to his supervisor and ask if he is going to be in that day. Super says no, he went to the doctor. But he also said that the drawings were completed and were in the plotter tray downstairs. Thank God!! The drawings were done well, and I was relieved.

The lazy drafter came in the next day. I asked him if he felt better. He started spouting off some medical terms. Whatever. I asked him how late he stayed the night before. He told me 9pm. I thanked him for all the work he did. I told his super that he said he was in til nine. The super told me that he told him 10. Interesting....

I find myself making excuses for him. I feel kinda sorry for him. What if he really is diseased? When his super asked me about the drawings and their quality, I said they were great, and that it was my fault for him staying so late. I told the super that I should have given him the design the day before I did, which was only half true.

The third and final lens became evident today. When I got to work at my usual 10 minutes late, there was a watch sitting in my chair. My supervisor used to be notorious for arriving at work late. His buddy in the Solid Waste division (Gere) used to put a watch in my supers chair whenever he was late. I never thought I would be a party to this little game that they play. But now I am. The whole day, the two of them were making jokes.

Gere "Hey Phil, how are you today?"
Me "Good Gere, how are you?"
Gere "Great. Did you get here alright this morning?"
Innocent?

Try this one that nearly pushed me over the edge:

(At the photocopier near the fax machine. Gere at the fax and Mike in front of me making copies.)

Gere "Hey Mike, do you know you are standing in front of the timeliest engineer in design?"
Mike "Uh, no I didn't."
Gere "Yeah, very timely."

I wanted to punch them all. I was close to throwing the watch away. I decided to hide it in the back of a drawer since it will probably remain in my possesion for a long while.

Three lenses of scrutiny.

What a frustrating week.

And it's not going to get any better.

One Hundred Twenty-Ninth Entry

Song of the Week

This weeks selection was very easy to make.

The Stereophonics have been around for a while. But noone knows them!

They are from the UK...Wales, to be exact. Oh yeah...that's why noone knows them!

The Stereophonics have released a song in the US before. "Have a Nice Day" was a mild hit, but one I thought everyone would recognize. To my surprise, noone does!

"Maybe Tomorrow" is a great song all around. Great guitars, great lyrics, great melody, great voices. Love it, love it, love it.

The song is a little on the sad and depressing side, but that is nothing compared to last weeks song.

One Hundred Twenty-Eighth Entry

Much fun was had by all this weekend!

Louis and Jen N. came to Tulare this weekend and we had a lot of fun!

Saturday:

Louis and Jen pull upto my apartment at about noon. Sonic!! Then we went to the outlets and walked around for a while. I was going to buy a chocolate covered strawberry at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, but they were $2! So I bought a battery charger for my cell phone instead.

Afterwards, we went to Blockbuster and rented Chicago. Louis hadn't seen it yet, so we watched it. Very good.

"Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh, Cicero, Lipschitz."

After the movie, we relaxed for a while and watched TV. We saw a commercial for Bob's Big Boy in Fresno. Jen remarked that she used to go there with her family a lot. I suggested that we go, and we did! The dinner was OK.

Then we went to visit my cousin and play Phase 10. That was a lot of fun.

When we got back to the house, we watched the tape of Louis' sister on Jay Leno. Hilarious!!!

Sunday:

This morning, we got up late and had breakfast at Hometown Buffet. Then we went to the Indian Reservation and to Eagle Mountain Casino. I lost $43. It's OK. Jen won like $10!

After that, I took them to the best hot dog stand in Tulare. It is very cool. Then we went to Sonic and they got stuff.

We came back to the house and they chowed and after digesting a bit, they left.

It was a good weekend.

After they had left, I called up Paula and she came over with the kids and we ordered pizza. They were here for like 3 hours. It was fun. Towards the end, Shaley clocked Georgia in the mouth. I was laughing, on the inside. Paula was just shocked about what she saw. Georgia bawled for like 5 minutes and Shaley bawled for like 10 minutes after being punished...life on the stairs in the dark is not fun, I guess.

So anyhow, fun weekend!

Tomorrow:

Work and depression.

One Hundred Twenty-Seventh Entry

Friday's Fun Fact

Hurrah!!! Friday is here!! And it's time for my inaugural Friday's Fun Fact!

Well, it was hard this week...but...I got one!

I learned this week that tires for my truck are really expensive.

I had to replace two of my tires this week because they were old and all worn out and gross. I was told by people at work that I needed new tires and they suggested this place in Visalia called Carroll's Tires. They said that Carroll's is cheap and fast.

Well, fast is right, but cheap is wrong.

I went in thinking I would pay maybe no more than $150 for the two tires. Well, the final bill came out to $286. Good lord, I almost fainted. I called my brother and he said that the tires should cost no more than $120 a piece, plus labor. That's exactly what it was. I guess my tires are just huge, and nothings too good for Bullet!!!

Next time I go to Costco.

So another lesson learned, and another....

Friday's Fun Fact!!!

One Hundred Twenty-Sixth Entry

Oh...there was one thing that I wanted to share with you all:

Let's Sing It. You can seriously find virtually any lyric to any song on this website.

They even have online karaoke, but I dont really like it cuz you have to pay for the good channels.

Have fun browsing!

One Hundred Twenty-Fifth Entry

In an effort to increase readership, I have decided to introduce two new features into my blog: "Song of the Week" and "Friday's Fun Fact".

The "Song of the Week" will be a song that I have heard recently that I particularly like and would like to introduce to the rest of you all. I will try to post it on Mondays, and include a link to a clip of the song. I will also write a blurb about the artist and the song.

"Friday's Fun Fact" will be an interesting fact that I learned during the week.

It's time for the.....
Song of the Week

This weeks selection was hard to make because it is hard to find a clip of a lot of the songs I wanted to choose.

This artist is a former member of the a huge British pop group, the Sugababes. Although she is only 18, she had spent the last three and a half years of her life in that group. Impressive! Believe it or not, she was the oldest member of the Sugababes, and left because she felt she wasn't living up to her full potential in the group.

Siobhan Donaghy's youth is not detectable in her latest single, "Overrated". It is a very grown up track, compared to some of the stuff I've heard from the Sugababes. Although you shouldn't listen to it when depressed, it is a great sound. The song starts with a pretty sad guitar. Then her voice starts in and all hope for a happy song is lost. Her voice sounds depressed, as if she is grieving. The lyrics are also very depressing. But I love this song.

This single did decently well in the UK...not well enough for how much I like it.

Siobhan Donaghy - Overrated. You will need to navigate a bit. Click the enter link. Click the "Listen to her New Tracks" link under "Latest News". Then click on the "Overrated" link. Enjoy.

And let me know what you think of the song and of the new feature.

One Hundred Twenty-Fourth Entry

You never realize how meaningful your personal relationships are until they are gone or almost gone. It shouldn't be this way. I take all my relationships for granted, when I really should cherish and preserve them.

When people leave your life, you reflect: some memories happy, some sad.

When I found out about Dayni, I was very upset. It was shocking at first, and I somewhat thought it was a distasteful joke. But as the details came to me, I was sad. I was worried. How could anyone entertain these thoughts? Why would anyone think of doing this?

I thought about our years in Middle School, High School, and after. She used to call me "Tall-ee" because I was tall in Middle School. She always gives me a hug whenever we see each other. She is always very straight forward and doesn't beat around the bush. I love that about her. Her infectious laugh always makes me laugh. She is truly a great person and a joy to be around. She always likes to try new things. Our trip to Calistoga and the Petrified Forest was very fun. I love Dayni.

****

When Mylinh called me today at work, I knew it would be the last time I would speak to her for a while. She called me to say goodbye. She told me she will always love me. I told her that I would always love her. We cried.

Right now she is waiting at LAX for her flight to Vietnam. And I'm sitting here, reflecting. I remembered all her idiosyncracies. The same ones that drove me nuts, I find myself missing. I miss her voice, her scent. I miss the incessant 80s music in her car. I miss her laugh and smile. I miss her cooking. And I miss her reaction when she messes up her cooking. I miss her late night calls. I love Mylinh.

****

Jen is right. I should tell everyone that I love them. Because I do. I love all of my friends. I never say it, but it's true.

Jen is right. I should stop sweating the small stuff. It isn't worth it. Life is too important to worry about wrinkled clothes and shiny shoes.

****

Thanks for listening.

One Hundred Twenty-Third Entry

Today was an interesting day:

midnight - 3am: Video Games. Yes folks, I am now an official gamer. I bought a Playstation 2 at Target on Saturday. With it, came one controller, and two wires. I bought two games at Target also: The Getaway and GTA Vice City. Both very fun and interesting games. GTAVC is just a variation on the rest of the GTA series...basic car theft, murder, shoot 'em up game complete with prostitution and drugs. Super fun and interesting. I love it. The Getaway is sort of like GTA, but the missions are ten times more difficult because there are no gauges!! There is nothing on the screen but you and the action. The game is also a lot more realistic. It takes only three gunshots and you are dead. And the cars that you drive suffer a lot more when you crash them...like in real life. This is my favorite game so far.
My cousin Rodrigo spent the night. He loves video games more than anyone I know. We played forever.

3am - 10:30am: Sleep. And a restful sleep it was.

10:30am - 11:30am: Video Games. I woke up to a phone call from my aunt asking me to come over to grandmas house to help clean. Igo was already awake and playing his gameboy. He ate breakfast while I played The Getaway.

11:30am - 4:30pm: Cleaning grandma's house and hot dogs. I helped clean my grandmas house today. It was filthy! I guess I can't expect two old people to keep their house clean. We had rug doctored the carpets yesterday, and we moved all the furniture back in today. We put contact paper in some of the shelves. We watered the lawn and other plants. It was a good work day.

4:30pm - 5:30pm:

5:30pm - 8:30pm: Video Games and Dinner. I played The Getaway for a good hour and a half! I love that game! Then Igo said he wanted to eat dinner. So off we went to the land of Jack in the Box. Yumm. I got it togo and we ate at my house and watched the Disney Channel.

8:30pm - 11:00pm I took Igo to Paulas house where he is spending the night. I was there watching Paula play Final Fantasy 10 for the whole time. That will be one of my future purchases.

11:00pm - 12:00am Talked with Mylinh on the phone. She is leaving tomorrow! It is very sad that she is leaving, but this program is good for her. She will earn the title of "World Traveler" after this one.

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

One Hundred Twenty-Second Entry

I hate Alison. She needs to go. So do Nate, Justin, and Jun. My new faves for BB4 are (most favored first):

Erika: Good lady. Calm. Collected. Reminds me a lot of Lisa from BB3.
Jee: Innocent bystander. Total dumbass, but naively so.
Jack: Smart guy. Careful who he talks to.
Robert: I just feel sorry for him.

Reasons the others need to go (least hated first):

Jun: Sneaky little bitch that can't control her mouth.
Justin: Dumb-ass. Meathead.
Nate: Even more of a dumb-ass than Justin.
Alison: Evil bitch that cannot be trusted by anyone. She is probably gonna do Justin so he nominates who she wants.

Well, enough about BB4.

Today at work was interview day. I became the proctor for the written portion of the interview. Basically, the candidates (I like to think of them as contestants) each had the same situation presented to them and had to write a memo concerning the situation. Each contestant had 15 minutes. I had to keep track of this. One of the contestants took five minutes over the time. I told him that his time was up and he said that he just needed to finish the sentence. Well, it took him like 5 minutes to finish that damn sentence! I will now forever be known as "The Proctor". "He may not be quick, he may not be strong, but he'll make sure you don't go over the time limit! He's the PROCTOR!!" I don't like the nickname, but I guess it could be worse.

Anyway, I have my favorite contestant in my head. I was hoping for at least one young female engineer to come in, but for some reason women engineers are very rare. What happened to Women's rights? Didn't they all want to be equal so they could do all the jobs that men do?? What ever happened to that???

I have adopted a new symbol at work. It is an exclamation point. Let me explain....

I was totally rebuffed in some curb and gutter grades that I finished a couple weeks ago. For some reason, the surveyor that was staking the job decided that my top of curb elevation was .02 feet off and needed to be recalculated. In the little post-it note attached to the front of the memo, he used a very large exclamation point to emphasize the extreme nature of my mistake. I showed the memo to my supervisor who agreed that it should have been something that was adjusted in the field. He also noted that the surveyor must have been really mad to make the exclamation point extra thick!

I printed out a 500 size exclamation point and colored flames around the outside of it. It hangs outside my office. Plans are in the works to make an exclamation point with icicles and one with a happy face to use as a temperament meter. Taking it a step further, in my return memo to the surveyor, I tried to throw exclamation points wherever I could. I don't know if he caught it, but I haven't heard anything yet.

Taking it another step further, my supervisor added an exclamation point to my name when I get emails from him.

And that was when I decided that the exclamation point should become my symbol.

Today I reflected a lot on the past year I have been with the county. I thought of all the fun stuff at work.
I like that I have been known as "The Bruiser", "Junior", "Young Hero", "Chief", "Young Phil", "Big Phil", "Ramp Czar" and some others I can't remember.
I like that I have a list of over a dozen movies that various people have recommended for me.
I like how everyone treats me like an equal even though I am less than half their ages.
I like how I can go over and sit down with Gloria and talk for a while about anything.
I like how whenever anyone has a birthday or some other milestone or special event, that person brings in donuts.
I like how we have a secret refrigerator that noone can know about.
I like how no matter how much work there is to do, once you put in nine hours for the day, you can leave.
I like how we go out and do stuff together every once in a while.
I like how no matter who you are in the Design division, it is understood that you hate the county and the way its run.
I like how everyone complains about the health insurance.
I like how people alway comment on my Spongebob and Lakeshore kids toys.
I like how people stand outside my office and read all the jokes and comics I have.
I like how I work with people with a seemingly infinite knowledge about everything, and even though I do the same stuff day in and day out, I always learn something new everyday.
I like how the "Roach Coach" couple, Carlos and Rosa (yes I know their names) lectured me yesterday about how I am at the right age to get married, and should do so right away.
I like how Carlos and Rosa, within two guesses, can say what I want for lunch.
I like how when I go downstairs to get my mail, I always say hi to Patty and she always says hi back and we talk for 5 minutes.
I like how Jane always makes me laugh on breaks or sneak smokes.
I like how Kham feels free to talk to me about women when Jane isn't around.
I like how whenever I go in to Bill's office we salute each other.
I like how Phil and I can joke about everything (like his tie) even though he is two levels above me, and been working at the county longer than I've been alive.
I like how Marcia is trying to fix me up with any girl she can think of.
I like how Blas teases me every chance he gets.
I like how I like everything at work, but the work.

One Hundred Twenty-First Entry

I want to go to Grad School

I have been wanting to go to grad school since my job started causing me more stress and boredom than it should, and that was about five months ago(if any of you ever work for government of any kind, you will see it is a feast or famine type situation.) I haven't been too serious about it until about two months ago and started thinking more heavily about it. I think the push came when I saw Micah walking at her grad school graduation in Boston. How cool would that be to be called Dr. Toste? Pretty cool.

There are several problems with me going to grad school:

- My undergrad grades are shit.
- I have no rapport with any of my past professors.
- I have no experience in anything other than Civil Engineering, and that is not what I would like to get a Master's in.

The only viable solution I can see now is to just start over in a new field of study. Should I ever desire to do so, I have decided in four disciplines:

- Chemistry,
- Bio-Chemistry,
- Genetics (or Genetic Engineering,)
- Construction Management.

For all of these (except probably CM,) I would need to start all over. Chemistry would be ideal...did I ever tell you guys about the time I made H2 and O2 out of water and some wires and almost blew up my house? Fun stuff.

If I were to go into a new Bachelor's program, I would need to quit my job, move back home and go to school full time if I wanted to get done ASAP. And after tasting complete personal, mental and economic freedom for the first time in my life, I don't think I would enjoy living at home again. It would be OK for the first few weeks, but not for much longer. Another option would be to stay local and take my time getting my degree(s) by taking only night classes. Its not like I need to have a life for another 10 years. I've been doing fine without one 'til now.

Hmmmm....I just thought of this one...another option would be to go to grad school at Fresno State or San Diego State or some other school with weak grad programs where they wouldn't care as much about my low, low grades. I must check this out.

I want to get my Professional Engineer's License

This requires another year and two months patience and study. Like I have said countless times: I need two years engineering experience under 3 or 4 licensed engineers to qualify for the test. Jane was telling me about the 2 day exam today at work. I got a little worked up about it. Both scared and excited about it.

I, now more than ever, know that after I get my license I am getting out of here. No more Tulare, no more Central Valley, no more California (for a while anyway.) I am really going to try and get a job either up north (Washington), somewhere in the northeast (Boston, Providence, Philly), or abroad (Europe, Australia, South America). After my brief stint as roving CE, I could then settle down into heavy studying for a Masters.

The idea of being a registered CE is cool. It would be cool to be employable anywhere in the country. It is kind of like the final step on the CE ladder. I don't know that it is what I want to do for the rest of my life, but the sense of accomplishment would be with me forever.


I guess none of these things would make me truly happy. But I could sure buy a helluva lotta stuff with the huge salary that comes with all this stuff.

One Hundred Twentieth Entry

For some reason this thought crossed my mind...

Noone in this world can ever be happy.

It is human nature to never be completely happy.

It doesn't matter who or what you have.

You always want more.

Go for the grad school.

Go for the travelling.

Go for the experiences you think you need to be happy.

You always want more.

It is really a depressing thought.

One Hundred Nineteenth Entry

Long live the original alliance! Minus Scott, David, Dana (Mantroll) and Jun!!!

One Hundred Eighteenth Entry

I became a professional panhandler this weekend...but more on that later.

BB4 is going down the tubes. I can't believe Nathan used the veto. I can't believe it.

Ali is playing him like a guitar.

Spoiler alert!!

The only reasons I have been watching the show and keeping track of the goings-on in the house on the internet are gone: Amanda, Melissa, and now David. I think the boards are right and now that David is gone, the ratings will go down the tubes. There are no more hot chicks in the house, and no more funny stuff.

Spoiler over!!

If I was CBS, I would pull a BB3 and reintroduce one of the contestants into the house. I doubt that will happen, but you never know!!

My new favorite to win is one of these three: Erika, Jun or Robert.

So yeah, I was a panhandler this weekend. It was very embarrassing. I did not want to do it and was happy when dude came up and threw three bucks into my hat.

Story:

I lost the Cardio Bet. As a result, I had to play guitar in Union Square in San Francisco for three hours or until I got three dollars. The remaining participants in the bet let me skew things on Sunday way to much. They should have made everything on their terms. But that is neither here nor there. Amy and I got to Union Square in SF at 9am. Jen and Lisa were slated to arrive at 9:30am. I told them I would go a little earlier to get a head start. They were fine with it. At about 9:21am, this guy comes up to me.

Conversation:

Dude: Do you know any old time country songs?

Me: No, I'm afraid not.

Dude: Well, what do you know?

Me: I just know some Portuguese folk songs.

Dude: Well, lets hear something.

Amy: Why don't you play that one that you sing to?

Me: (whispering) Shut up.

Dude: Yeah, how about that one?

Me: Ok.

I played and sang for about a minute. Then the song was over. He looked pretty impressed.

Dude: That deserves some money.

Dude busts out a small balled up dollar bill into my hat.

Me: Thanks dude.

Dude: Thank you.

Dude starts to walk away.

Me: Well, don't you want to hear my story?

Dude: That's not necessary, but OK.

Me: Well, I lost a bet and as a result, I have to play guitar here for three dollars. I am not really poor, I have a job. I just lost a bet. Get it?

Dude: That's funny.

Me: Where are you from?

Dude: The Fresno area.

Me: Really? I work in Visalia for Tulare County!

Dude: Cool.

Me: Thanks again.

Dude: No problem.

I don't think he believed me when I said I wasn't poor. Nor do I think he believed me when I said that I worked for Tulare County. So according to someone in the Fresno area, I am jobless and probably homeless.

Amy bent down and checked the money and she said that there were three dollars there instead of just one! Finished!!!

Not five minutes later, but guy comes back and asks for directions to IKEA. Very random!! I gave directions as best as I could.

I proceeded to call Jen and Lisa. Jen showed up at about 9:40am and chewed me out for playing guitar so well. I think she was just tired. Oh well. I made my three bucks.

About ten minutes later, Lisa gets there and I am still playing, Amy sitting beside me and Jen sulking off to the side. It was pretty funny.

I had some fans too. They were from Lake Tahoe. They asked me what I knew how to play. I put out my hat again and was hoping to make a little more money. The guy came over and asked me for money!! Sorry buddy, it works the other way around.

Lisa then had the bright idea of reenacting the whole thing. Amy played the part of Dude and I played myself. Amy threw the money in the hat and I was playing. All the while the guy from Lake Tahoe was watching. He was probably pissed, but oh well.

By the time we felt like leaving, Jen was in a better mood but saved her words for Amy and Lisa. Again, in her defense though, she was very tired. Amy and I walked over to BART and went home.

Amy and I talked on the BART home and we determined that the guy sounded like he was originally from Missouri. Very interesting.

Anyway, I am a professional panhandler.

One Hundred Seventeenth Entry

Me: Guess what?

Loyal Reader (LR): What?

Me: I got a new toy today?

LR: What's that?

Me: Guess!!

LR: An easel?

Me: Nope!! Guess again!

LR: A digital camera?

Me: Nope!! Guess again!

LR: I'll never get it...

Me: Sure you will...I'll give you a hint: It is black and top heavy.

LR: Is it Beyonce?

Me: Nope!! Think "Erin Brockovich".

LR: Is it a paper shredder??

Me: Yes it certainly is!!

I got a paper shredder today from Office Depot. I love it. I have already shredded all my credit card stuff and receipts. I love it. I was trying to jam the thing, but it won't! I love it!!

BB4 is getting very interesting. Especially with Erika and Michelle up for eviction. Ha ha ha ha. Poor Michelle. Innocent little Michelle. Don't they know that the pawn always goes in BB??

Spoiler: Do not read unless you don't care about BB, in which case, you won't read it anyway.



The fact that David won the veto is very interesting. In monitoring the boards, many deals are being made to make sure David doesn't use the veto. Also, Dave has been saying that he has some very explosive information which he will share soon. Interesting!!!

Spoiler Over

Blog Over

One Hundred Sixteenth Entry

The best line in the J. Lo and Ben interview tonight:

(in the kitchen, cooking) Ben: "It's like watching the Discovery channel. Watch the J. Lo in her natural habitat."

I bent double laughing.

I was just outside smoking a cig and it is still 90 degrees. Blechh.

That is all.

One Hundred Fifteenth Entry

Caution: Do not read the following paragraph if you do not want to read a BB4 spoiler. It will be hidden in the following paragraph to avoid accidental readage.

BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 Apparently, BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 Scott BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 threw BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 a BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 temper BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 tantrum, BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 throwing BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 chairs BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 around BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 and BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 stuff. BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 Big Brother BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 saw fit BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 to BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 remove BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 him BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 from BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 the BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 house. BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4 BB4.

Interesting huh.

That little precaution should help me avoid the wrath of Jen, who hates having things spoiled. Where's the fun in suspense??

Another BB4 note: I discovered a free link to the web cams... www.bbchatter.com ... click on the links that say cam or quad.

I am becoming a BB cam junkie.