Two Hundred Fifty-Seventh Entry

Tomorrow, I am stepping outside the safe and sheltered confines of my office and am going to give a 20 minute presentation to the Tulare County Board of Supervisors. I guess, not so much give the presentation, as be the technician for the presentation. Well, not so much be the technician, as the button pusher for the Power Point portion of the presentation. For which I have to wear a tie. I'll be the best goddamned dressed button pusher ever seen. I gotta find all my bling....

I saw the new Eminem video and nearly snotted all over myself it was so funny. Hahahaha. Noone in Hollywood is safe.

I was very sad to read Britney's "I'm taking a break" letter to her fans. Thank you Jen for sharing that beautifully penned homage to Britney's crappy life by Britney. I hope to God she doesn't reproduce. I can see her having just enough kids to start a tween band. Actually, that probably wouldn't be a bad idea for her. She must realize that she can't be this successful forever. She needs a healthy and "talented" set of dependants to support her as she ages. God knows deadbeat Kevin won't do that for her. (Hmmm...it may sound like I care, but I don't.)

Thank you Lisa for filling my answering machine with three messages containing Michael Gates belting Freeway of Love. It truly made my eyes water. It made me miss Karaoke...for about two seconds.

I didn't work tonight. I don't work tomorrow night. I close on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I'm working 3-9 on Saturday. Working at Albertson's is fun, until your feet and back start reminding you you've been standing and walking for two hours straight.

On a related topic, do me a favor and do not ask for paper bags at the Supermarket. Reasons why:
a) It takes the courtesy clerk longer to bag your groceries. By the time I actually get one open, I could have had 2 plastic bags filled up.
b) They are not stronger than plastic. That is an urban legend(Fred). If you are still concerned, ask your courtesy clerk to double bag something for you. It is a helluva lot easier than fussing with the goddamn paper bags.
c) Contrary to popular belief, it does not save the environment. Although paper bags are recyclable, most of the paper bags from grocery stores end up in the trash, either from people who forget to recycle them, or from people who use them as trash bags. If anything, you are contributing to the overflowing landfill problem. Just do this quick exercise, take a paper grocery bag and a plastic one. Crumple up the paper bag as small as you can. Now, take a plastic bag and tear a bunch of holes in it (to simulate it's interaction with other objects at a landfill or in the home) and scrunch it down as small as you can. Which one is smaller? Plastic. And don't give me any of that biodegradable bullshit. A lesson on how landfills work: California law states that after a day of trash at a landfill, the days trash must (MUST!) be covered by dirt. I kid you not. Now imagine weeks and weeks of trash building up, layer upon layer. Now, the landfill will settle some, there is no denying that, but what do you think happens to the trash in all these layers in the absence of water? It doesn't decompose. Sure there is some water that goes with the trash, in the form of banana peels and the like, but it ain't enough to decompose all that trash. Why do you think people can go diggin' around a landfill and find a legible copy of the New York Times announcing Kennedy as the President? If you really want to help the environment, create a compost pile in your backyard.
d) This reason is the grossest one. I didn't know about this until Jane told me about it at work a couple of weeks ago. The glue that holds the paper together in the shape of a bag is a delicasee for...COCKROACHES!! Yes! It's true!!! I couldn't believe it myself. All I kept thinking about was how many cockroaches there must have been in my childhood kitchen between the counter and the fridge. So disgusting. They climb on into the bags, feast on the glue and lay eggs all over the place. Gross, gross, gross!!!
e) The final reason. It really pisses us off. It does. We are supposed to be happy and smiling, but I've never done more number fours than when bagging with paper bags. JEEE--SUSSS!!
If you still want paper bags when shopping, but don't care if your groceries are in them or not, just ask for them. Any courtesy clerk would be more than happy to give you a few paper bags.

The new store director started today. His name is Kenny. Hahahahaha. Many South Park jokes in the future. I don't think I've ever known anyone named Kenny. Oh wait, Kenny something-or-other in Elementary School. What a jerk.

It's gonna rain pretty heavy tomorrow according to the forecast earlier this afternoon. 100% chance of heavy rain for us here in Tulare. Fun! You know what that means?! Snow in the mountains!!!!!!

I can't think of anything else to write.