One Hundred Forty-Eighth Entry

Tomorrow is going to be the first below 80 deg. day since April. I am very looking forward to it. I think I just may take a jacket to work. It's supposed to get up to 68, not too cold, maybe a jacket isn't necessary.

Work today was lame. I spent a majority of the day avoiding work and attending a health benefits seminar concerning our new Blue Shield bennies. They suck, as they always do, and the county share is measly. I will probably have to get a smaller paycheck just so I can avoid paying a $1000 deductable per year. Oh well.

I watched "My Cousin Vinny" this weekend. The funniest movie I have seen in a great while! If you haven't seen it, watch it!!

I can't wait until Friday! Halloween!! I think everyone is going to get freaked out at work when they see me. I need to buy an umbrella. It's gonna rain Friday. I wouldn't want to jack up my hair. And what about trick-or-treating? That is gonna suck if its raining!

One Hundred Forty-Seventh Entry

Apparantly, my phone call with Lisa, as she flirted with death crossing Hesperian last Friday, is the first known case of electronically transmitting a disease. I have researched this and I can't find another case of its kind anywhere.

I am officially on sick leave today. I feel like ish. I am not running a fever or anything, but I am completely congested and have a minor ache in my left arm. I suppose I could be having a stroke, but I think I just slept on it wrong. I am diagnosing it as a head cold. Thank you Lisa.

I left early yesterday from work(My check out board excuse for leaving is "Diseased". They didn't like it too much the last time I was sick and wrote "SARS"). Really shouldn't have been there anyway. The only reason I went in was because I had a meeting with my boss and Redevelopment about a cost estimate I ended up throwing together yesterday morning. It's shit as far as formatting goes(my ugliest work yet), but pretty accurate. Did you know that you cost Sidewalk Installation as a square foot quantity? Did you know that it runs $1500 to construct a curb ramp complete with detectable warning surfaces?

**********

If any of you have dish network/directv/digital cable, I have a show to recommend to you. It is called "The Office", and it is on BBC America. I can hear it now, "BBC? I hate England TV shows." But this one is absolutely hilarious. It hurts to watch because of some of the situations. Think of the worst boss you ever had, multiply by 12 and you have the main character on this show. Check it out...The Office.

I got up this morning to news of the wildfires in LA. I guess I won't be going there anytime soon.

Last night I experimented with my faux earrings. I tried gluing them on with eyelash glue, as was suggested by Gloria at work, but it doesn't work. So then I tried with super glue and it worked, of course. It took me about 15 minutes to get it off, but it stuck. If I can't come up with anything else, that is what I will use.

I also made a hematite necklace for my costume, bought the clothes I need(including wallet chain), bought the makeup, and got the sculpting gel. And I didn't need to go to Hot Topic! I will probably get into full costume today to see how it looks. Paula will probably help me out with it Friday morning, cuz I haven't a clue when it comes to nail polish. I love Halloween. I am actually going Trick-or-Treating on Friday with Paula, her kids and Igo. I went last year, but my costume was very last minute. This year, a lot of planning. Lisa would be proud.

One Hundred Forty-Sixth Entry

I just found two pretty cool websites that some of you may find interesting.

www.pollstar.com --- A website with every bands tour dates and stuff. Very cool.

uk.maps.yahoo.com --- A Yahoo!Maps for England. Very cool too.

Happy surfing!

One Hundred Forty-Fifth Entry

Marlins win the Series!!!!!!!!!

Louis was here today. He drove up this morning and left about 3 hours ago. It was good to spend some time with him. We ate, drank and were merry. I only wish he could have stayed longer.

Summer is supposedly coming to a close this week. The first below 80 day since April is scheduled for this Thursday. A 77. Very nice. And its all downhill from there. By the end of November, the Central Valley will be shrouded in fog...I love it!

I'm going to be a Punk Rocker for Halloween. I am going all black (including hair) with an almost too inappropriate shirt to take to work. It will be perfect!

Marlins win the Series!!!!!!!!!

One Hundred Forty-Fourth Entry

I did absolutely nothing at work today except walk around and get everyone excited about Best Buy opening today! I looked up their website to see if they had any specials for today, but nothing. I got off of work at 11:15 and made a beeline to Best Buy. It was sensory overload from the moment I walked in the door. It was pretty packed with people and there were almost as many salespeople. Every single worker I passed smiled and asked if I needed help. It was getting annoying toward the end of my hourlong visit. So much to see and play with!

All I bought was the new Seal CD. The only songs I heard from it previously were "Get It Together", "Waiting for You" and "My Vision". Very good songs, so I thought I'd take a chance on the CD. So far, so good.

After Best Buy, I went to the new Target Greatland and looked for a travel clock. Very expensive! I'd be better off just using my cell phone. So I just bought some Advantage Bars...yumm.

One Hundred Forty-Third Entry

The Marlins are one win away from getting rid of the evil Yankees and taking the world title of baseball!

Work today was very busy. My memo is awaiting me with the first round of corrections and revisions made by my super. Pretty much the whole day was spent on a preliminary estimate for my sidewalk project in Cutler and Orosi. I thought I had to have it done by tomorrow, but I got a call at the end of my day delaying the estimates delivery til next Monday. Good. I wasn't going to have it done tomorrow anyway. Work was much more interesting today than it has been for the last couple weeks. I learned a lot today about landscaping in the State's right of way. It may not sound interesting to you folks, but I thought it was pretty interesting.

Tomorrow will be spent working on my estimate more and polishing off the memo.

One Hundred Forty-Second Entry

Marlins win game four!!! There is a God!! The Yankees must DIE!!!

I was ready to quit my job today. I was so pissed off at everyone and frustrated with everything.

Story goes:

Monday morning I got an assignment from my boss: "Write a memo that I am going to send to my boss who is going to send it to the Road Commissioner, about curb ramps and what standards we are using." Fair enough. As far as everyone else in the office is concerned, I know the most about the requirements and standards for curb ramps, both state and federal. I don't know everything, but a lot, and certainly the most out of anyone I work with. I get started, kinda half work on it, while working on something else. Marcia (my boss) comes back and tells me that she needs this memo in like two days. Oh, OK. I start working on it full time. Fast-Forward

Yesterday I get to work and worked on the memo. About half an hour before lunch, I discovered to my horror, two things that somehow were overlooked by both me and anyone else who has reviewed anything at all concerning the curb ramp guidelines. I started stressing. I was on the verge yesterday. I put the two issues aside and continued to work on other parts of the memo that weren't affected by my discoveries. I finished those. Fast-Forward

Today I got to work and was determined to talk to Marcia about the issues. I was nervous. I don't know if any of you have ever had to go to your boss and take responsibility for something you fucked up on, but I thought I was getting pretty used to that. It never gets any easier.

I went into her office and told her I have some bad news. She said uh-oh. I told her it was about curb ramps. She gave a sigh of relief and said she thought I was gonna tell her I got a hot new job up in the Bay Area! Whew... I told her the problem. She said it wasn't a problem, that it was outside the project limits. I told her that the regs require it, but she shot me down again. What a relief!! Off the hook.

I continued writing the memo and kept getting bombarded with requests from all over the place. I needed to get this memo done by the end of the day but couldn't for all the people that kept bugging me. By the middle of this afternoon, I was burned out. I wanted to go home. I was past the verge and ready to go Osama on everyone. I went outside and took a break. I cooled down and got back to my office. I finished the memo at 5:30. I went to take it to Marcia, and she was walking down the hall saying "See you next Monday, I'm off to LA."

Shit.

So at least I got the memo done.

I think a lot of this stress is from my first full week on non-smoker status. I start my second week of "patching" tomorrow.

Some good news:

The Roach Coach company sent out another truck for us! After a month long absence, we have a truck again! I bought a bottle of water this morning and a chef's salad at lunch. Pretty cheap.

Some other good news:

Bill at work celebrated the 5th anniversary of his heart attack today! What did he do to celebrate? Well, what everyone else does to celebrate a milestone at the County...he brought in donuts.

Marlins Win!!

One Hundred Forty-First Entry

I found out today that I have to work at the county for at least another 2 years. That is when I should know whether or not I passed the PE exam that I will take April 2005!!!. I previously thought I was going to take it October of next year. I nearly cried when I discovered that I would have to work here for another 6 months. I decided that once I return from Europe, I would start looking for another job. I don't know how long I can take much more of this job.

On a lighter note, I had dinner at BT's a very good mexican restaurant in Visalia. I had an all meat burrito with guac, sour cream, lettuce and cheese. Mmmm mmm.

I stopped at Costco on my way to dinner and got four cases of bottled water to take to work. I like Costco. I browsed through the CD's and DVD's, but was good an' di'n't buy nuthin'.

I am getting excited for my trip to Europe. I can't wait 'til 11-19!

One Hundred Fortieth Entry

The more I listen to the new Travis CD, the more convinced I am that this is one of my favorite CD's. By far my favorite song is Beautiful Occupation. It's a protest song against the war in Iraq. Very nice. Good lyrics. Re-offender is another great track.

I played Sims all day today and yesterday. Great fun. Since I bought my new computer, I hadn't installed the Sims, so I am having to start anew. It's fun.

The Yankees lost last night. I am soooo happy! They are winning 4-0 right now, but its only the third inning.

I spoke with Mylinh today. She is doing well. She likes Vietnam. She asked about "The Gang" and sends her love to all.

Did you know it costs $5.00 a minute to call to Vietnam if you don't have any of those fancy int'l calling plans? Well it does.

I have decided to take a laid back approach to work. Yeah it is boring me stiff. And yeah I can't get anywhere at the County unless someone leaves (not gonna happen) or dies. But I only have to be here for one and a half more years! My stay in Tulare is very nearly half over.

My boss and supervisor at work were trying to convince me to enter a Masters program with them. We were talking about the GRE and stuff. I think it is a masters in Public Administration, which is completely worthless unless you plan on working in the Public Sector for the rest of your life. Which I don't

Did I tell you about Adam's job? He has the ultimate coolest Civil Engineering job. I am sooooo jealous. He works for Provost and Pritchard in Fresno. They get two bonuses a year which are a certain percentage of your salary. They have a really cool breakroom with Ping-Pong and the like. They get one $50 gift certificate to the store of their choice every month (Adam chose Home Depot). Every five years that a person has worked there, they get "roasted", which sounds really cool. They have company picnics and a softball team. And the ass kicker...if Adam referred me to work there and I got hired, he would get $1000! He already promised me $300 of it. I wish I worked there. The thing is that the type of Civil Engineering that they do is not the type I like doing. Besides, they aren't hiring.

Gotta go, The Office is on.

One Hundred Thirty-Ninth Entry

Yankees and Marlins are in the World Series. I am very disappointed.

Adam came to Tulare tonight. I like hanging out with Adam. We went to Joe's Place Mexican Restaurant and it was goooood. I ate way too many carbs. Then we went to Walmart and I bought soap.

One Hundred Thirty-Eighth Entry

Red Sox lost tonight...sniff. It doesn't look good for the Sox. I may have to Cowboy down by the end of the week.

For some reason summer is clinging to Tulare with all its might. It is supposed to be in the mid-80' from Friday to next Thursday. I am sick of it! On the bright side, we are scheduled to have our first below 80 degree day on Thursday. Relief!!!

Today was full of beautiful sights. On my drive to work, I noticed that the harvested, barren fields had a thin layer (approx. 4 feet thick) of fog! It was really cool. And then, on my way to play tennis tonight, I was driving down Tulare Avenue just as the sun was setting at the end of Tulare Avenue. It was a huge bright orange ball, slowly crawling into the western horizon right in front of me. Very beautiful.

Work was good today. I was busy. I called people at Disabled Student Services at Cal Poly, the Mayor's Council on Disability in San Francisco, and the Curb Ramp contact for the City of Phoenix. They were all very cordial and eager to help, but didn't. I need to call Phoenix again tomorrow. I wonder if they are hiring???

One Hundred Thirty-Seventh Entry

Red Sox won tonight. Pretty exciting towards the end. I need to see a Sox-Cubs World Series. The two great curses go head to head. Think of it!

And whats up with the niners? What are they, 2-5? Worst start in the last 2 decades, I'm sure.

Work was good today. I got to talk with a nice lady that works for the City of Scottsdale, AZ. She was very nice. I should have asked her if they were hiring engineers.

Blas at work asked me if I was Pro-Choice, or Pro-Life. As that is inappropriate conversation for the workplace, and I didn't want to have a long drawn out bible discussion, I told him I was Pro-Life. Please don't hold that against me, I was under great emotional duress...he was slamming the Bay Area, my home and my peoples, for being ulta-liberal. Please, if he thinks being pro-choice is ultra-liberal, I wonder what he thinks of gay marriages? Super-duper-ultra liberal??

Major drama of the month(not as big as Jens major drama, but drama nonetheless): One of the drafters was not at work today. He didn't even call in sick. The head drafter had to call his dad, who works at the other end of our building. In any case, he was a no-show.

Fast-Forward 5 hours

I went downstairs to get everyones mail, and I happened to glance at a sheet of paper that, at the top, had the word Delinquent, and further down included the name of the missing drafter.

No doubt that was from the payroll department saying that he had no more sick leave or vacation, and didn't make his 40 hours last week. That coupled with his missing 9 hours today, and his previous warning from the management that if he ever took leave without having any leave in his bank he would be terminated, surely means someones head is gonna roll.

Will keep y'all posted.

Cowboy up!

One Hundred Thirty-Sixth Entry

I've done it again.

Target Greatland opened this week. I have been awaiting the opening of Target Greatland ever since I saw the sign that it was coming.

Target Greatland is huge! You could stand at one end of it and not see the other for the curvature of the earth!

I went there tonight. I spent money I don't have. I bought a dart board! I bought the new Sim City expansion pack! I bought three puzzles! I bought $50 dollars worth of Atkins bars! I bought ziploc bags! in two sizes!!

Depression shopping sure sucks the account dry, but feels oh so good!!!

One Hundred Thirty-Fifth Entry

I hate work. I love the people, but I hate the work. Today I was stuck using a planimeter all day. You run the planimeter around the outline of a shape, and it tells you the area in square inches. It is a mechanical integrater (think calculus). I was excited about it at first (a mechanical integrater! who'd a thought!!) but after the fourth hour of mechanically integrating landfill closure x-sections, I was tired of it. And that is not the most boring and tedious thing I could have done today!

I still get the "you're late" reminders from my supervisor, and they are still annoying.

If things don't change soon, I am leaving. I don't know how much more I can take.

One Hundred Thirty-Fourth Entry

It is a sad, sad day for politics.

I voted this morning. No's all the way.

For two days in a row, I rooted for the loser.

And now we have to deal with a womanizing nazi-sympathizer in charge of Sacramento.

I'm getting a new job in another state before California, the land I loved, sinks into the Pacific.

One Hundred Thirty-Third Entry

I am heart broken.

The A's lost the Division Series.

I watched games three and four and the A's played pitifully, game 3 especially. Tejada and Byrnes are dumbasses. I wouldn't care one bit if Tejada left the team next year, as was hinted by the broadcasters. Byrnes is just a crybaby and should learn that there is no pain in the post-season. He should take a lesson from Durazo, who limped his way into second tonight on a double he hit.

The A's strike me as a young team. Most of the guys are not mature enough and seem to have that pretty-boy attitude that only loses pennants and stuff like that.

I must say that I am impressed by the Oakland pitching staff. They held their own throughout the series, and would have won the series if not for idiot mistakes by retards in game 3.

Oakland does not have as much offensive capability as I was expecting. They used to be such a power team.

Boston on the other hand has, what I think, a more mature and balanced team. They seemed confident and aware of their capabilities. The coaching staff also knows what its doing. They pulled tonights pitcher before he could do anymore damage. The A's coaching staff let Zito lose the game for them.

I hope the BoSox go on to beat the Yankees (I'm just tired of them), and win the World Series. They deserve to break the curse.

Cowboy Up!

One Hundred Thirty-Second Entry

This, ladies and gentlemen, will be my last blog for a long while. I have grown tired of having to journal in at least once or twice a week. The enjoyment and therapy that blogging offers has worn off, and I think I am doing it more for you guys. It became a question of "How can I entertain my readers for the five minutes I have their attention?" And that's not why I started blogging in the first place.

I wanted it to be a way for me to vent. I wanted to be able to say what I felt about anything and everything. I can't do that. I can't be as open as I want to be on my blog. I find myself pulling semi-Lisa's left and right by overusing pronouns instead of a name, in the way she uses initials. I have become overcautious in what I write because a lot of the thoughts I have could hurt quite a few people. But how am I supposed to vent if I can't write about my thoughts?

My co-worker Jane today made the comment that our generation is much more open than hers. She refers to my blog and our bosses daughters' blog saying that she and anyone in her generation would never have done that. I think that is a very interesting point. Our generation tends to wear our hearts on our sleeves. We are more touchy-feely than previous generations. Jane's generation tends to be a lot more wary of telling people anything and everything for fear of becoming vulnerable or hurting someone. I must say that I feel the same. I know I would get a severe adverse reaction if I made a negative comment about a friend.

So, in short, I don't want to blog for a while. I can't write what I really feel, so there is no purpose. I suppose I could start a secret blog that noone would know about, but the reason you blog is so others can read it, so that wouldn't work. I could just start a journal in a notepad and keep it under my pillow, but that would last all of three days.

Goodbye nice, kind world. I'll bitch at you another day.

One Hundred Thirty-First Entry

I feel helpless. I am torn. I find myself placed between two very tall mountains, and I don't know which to climb. I don't know what is on the other side of these mountains either; one could be a wide, beautiful valley with happiness and peace, and the other could be just the first in a long and neverending mountain range with sadness and turmoil.

I need to move. I am very unhappy in Tulare. I am disappointed with San Leandro. I need to move East, or North; Seattle, Boston or Atlanta.

I need to make a decision. And I need to make it fast before I end up getting stuck in a position I can't get out of.

My life is truly at a crossroads. The years of youthful naivety are behind me and the years of mature responsibility are ahead.

Where do I want to be at this point in my life?

One Hundred Thirtieth Entry

**Note: I just reread the blog, and it makes little sense to me, so good luck.

The last few weeks have been very trying at work. Along with getting behind in all my work, I feel I am under extra scrutiny from my Supervisor. I suppose it all started in late May...

~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~

I work in the Design/Graphics Division of the RMA, along with 6 other engineers. There are three other divisions which have engineers: Subdivisions/Flood Control, Traffic/Transit, and Construction. The engineers in the other divisions are all Engineer III's and above, no lowly Engineer I's like me. One of the Engineer 3's from the Subdivision Division took a job with the City of Visalia and left at the end of May. He was a good guy, a great engineer and everyone was pretty sorry to see him go.

That left an opening in the Subdivision Division for an E2 or E3. Attempts were made by the manager of that division to recruit an E2 or an E3 from within the county. Noone wanted to go.

In the middle of June, the work that the newly departed Engineer 3 was doing began being dumped on my division, with me doing a large portion of it. I slowly chugged along and got the extra work and my regular work done.

~~~~~~end flashback~~~~~~

Fast Forward to about three weeks ago. Interviews were held for the vacancy. The manager of Subdivisions did not like any of the candidates. He likes the position he is in with us having to do all the work.

That was about the time that my subdivision work started coming back, and things started to change.

I got back two of the jobs I had done. They had been reviewed thoroughly by my supervisor and by my manager. But the surveyors saw fit to comment and make changes to my designs. The bad thing is, they were right. How could the jobs be reviewed by two of my superiors and still be wrong? Well, it happened. I fixed the designs and resubmitted them.

About two weeks ago, I got what is called a Subdivision Map. A developer submits a map of a proposed subdivision, and the county makes comments on it. I just finished it on Tuesday. I gave it to my supervisor for his review. He then proceeded to tear apart my comments memo and wrote twice as many of his own. Talk about a confidence buster.

So this subdivision crap is one of the lenses of the "microscope of scrutiny" focused on me.

The second lens is with a little project that I am basically in charge of. Actually, it's a large project. It is for Caltrans, and believe it or not folks, this project of mine is of great statewide importance. It is the first of its kind. Usually, the state (Caltrans) designs its own projects. But in a rather bizarre twist, the state's planners want to avoid their own environmental branch of design and leave the design up to Tulare County. This is the first time they are trying anything like this. I am constantly being reminded that this project is "a pilot program" or "the first of its kind" or "of statewide importance" or "being watched carefully by the whole industry."

I have no problem with being a trailblazer. But on this project, I have to trailblaze through this with the laziest drafter in the history of drafting. I don't know what is wrong with him. He is always out on sick leave; he ran out of it this week. Every half-hour he walks (extra slowly) by my cube with his cup in hand on his way to the drinking fountain to get water. He is always tired and has permanent stoner eyes.

Last week, I needed him to do a lot of stuff that I needed basically the day before for a meeting a few days after. I knew that he had the capability and know how to do it on time. I left work late the night before the meeting without complete drawings in my hand, but assured that I would have them in the morning. What I didn't know was that he would call in sick the morning of the meeting and go to the doctor for some stomach problems he is having.

I got to work in the morning and did not see any drawings. Shit shit shit shit. I walk over to his supervisor and ask if he is going to be in that day. Super says no, he went to the doctor. But he also said that the drawings were completed and were in the plotter tray downstairs. Thank God!! The drawings were done well, and I was relieved.

The lazy drafter came in the next day. I asked him if he felt better. He started spouting off some medical terms. Whatever. I asked him how late he stayed the night before. He told me 9pm. I thanked him for all the work he did. I told his super that he said he was in til nine. The super told me that he told him 10. Interesting....

I find myself making excuses for him. I feel kinda sorry for him. What if he really is diseased? When his super asked me about the drawings and their quality, I said they were great, and that it was my fault for him staying so late. I told the super that I should have given him the design the day before I did, which was only half true.

The third and final lens became evident today. When I got to work at my usual 10 minutes late, there was a watch sitting in my chair. My supervisor used to be notorious for arriving at work late. His buddy in the Solid Waste division (Gere) used to put a watch in my supers chair whenever he was late. I never thought I would be a party to this little game that they play. But now I am. The whole day, the two of them were making jokes.

Gere "Hey Phil, how are you today?"
Me "Good Gere, how are you?"
Gere "Great. Did you get here alright this morning?"
Innocent?

Try this one that nearly pushed me over the edge:

(At the photocopier near the fax machine. Gere at the fax and Mike in front of me making copies.)

Gere "Hey Mike, do you know you are standing in front of the timeliest engineer in design?"
Mike "Uh, no I didn't."
Gere "Yeah, very timely."

I wanted to punch them all. I was close to throwing the watch away. I decided to hide it in the back of a drawer since it will probably remain in my possesion for a long while.

Three lenses of scrutiny.

What a frustrating week.

And it's not going to get any better.

One Hundred Twenty-Ninth Entry

Song of the Week

This weeks selection was very easy to make.

The Stereophonics have been around for a while. But noone knows them!

They are from the UK...Wales, to be exact. Oh yeah...that's why noone knows them!

The Stereophonics have released a song in the US before. "Have a Nice Day" was a mild hit, but one I thought everyone would recognize. To my surprise, noone does!

"Maybe Tomorrow" is a great song all around. Great guitars, great lyrics, great melody, great voices. Love it, love it, love it.

The song is a little on the sad and depressing side, but that is nothing compared to last weeks song.