One Hundred Tenth Entry

Well, I was thinking about finishing my Bos/NYC journal entry today, but I think the rest will have to never be written...at least for now. No patience!!

So, the Firmino Experiment failed miserably. He is moving back to San Leandro after attending just one day of classes at the lovely COS campus. I didn't realize just how unhappy he was at that school. He misses home. He misses the family and his girlfriend. I just hope I was able to keep him somewhat entertained.

This whole thing with Firmino has got me thinking, do I really want to be here in Tulare?? It's super hot in the summer and super foggy in the winter. I work with a lot of apathetic people that have been working for the county for so long, they don't care whether something gets done or not. I do not want to be one of them!

I had previously said that I would not leave my job until I got licensed. That is a whole 1.5 years away, at the very least. If I fail the test, I have to wait another 6 mos. before taking it again. I don't know if I could wait that long.

I was told at my break time today that one of the E3's (Jane) was going to the boss (Marcia) about making Kham and I E2's, since our one year anniversary is coming up in August. And just for those who don't know, an E2 is an E1 with a chunky pay raise. I don't think that will happen with all the budget cuts and whatever.

Soooooo, for the first time in about 6 months, I started to cruise the job websites at work. I know its illegal, but sue me. Nothing in the public sector, and I was afraid to look for anything in the private sector because of the economy the way it is.

This won't last long. There are other reasons contributing to my dissatisfaction with work.

The "far and away" biggest one is the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). I really do not like the ADA. As a result of this ADA, all of the pavement rehabilitation projects that occur along ADA accessible routes have to include curb ramp installation (curb ramps are those "cut-outs" at intersections to allow wheelchairs access to the sidewalk). Now, even to the pavement layperson, you can see, thinking logically, how laying asphalt has absolutely nothing to do with the ADA. It is asphalt. On a mile-long road. With a deep irrigation canal on one side, and 5 houses on the other. Neither of which have anything remotely resembling a sidewalk. So why do we need curb ramps? Because there are crosswalks. The crosswalks lead to dirt at three corners. I would very much like to see a wheelchair try to ride on bumpy, uneven dirt.

So, because one of the corners of that intersection has a curb ramp, and because there are crosswalks, the rest of us have to suffer. It is to the point where I just want to say forget it to all the disabled and tell them to deal with it.

Oh my God!!! I'm turning republican!!!!!!!!!!!!

One Hundred Ninth Entry

I just read Jen's lovely blog about her haircut. Very funny. Sad that it didn't turn out the way she wanted...but that's life...and it'll grow out.

Personal observation:

Why do girls cut their hair short? Is it because it is easier to maintain? Is it because it is lighter on their skull? Is it because they just plain like it better? I don't know why, but I hate to see girls cut their hair.

Mylinh's hair was just growing out to a good length when we started going out, good finger running length(did I say that out loud?), and then she cut it. She had great, black, thick hair and she took good care of it. Why cut it? I can understand why she keeps it short now though(Triathlon). Lisa was next. Long, straight, thick, black hair that you could use as floss. Really pretty hair. She also took good care of her hair. Then she chopped it off. Why??

And now Jen. Again, long, thick but somewhat curly/wavy, dark, dark brown, luscious hair that she took excellent care (quite possibly better care than Louis) of and its all gone. Why???

Perhaps for a man, the long hair evokes the primal instinct to bonk a woman over the head with a club and drag her around by her hair.

Perhaps for a woman, the long hair evokes the primal instinct to avoid being bonked over the head with a club by a man and being dragged around by her hair, but now that technology has evolved to the point where they can see a professional for a haircut, they so choose to do, avoiding the clubbing man.

I guess what it all boils down to is that women with long hair get a rise out of a man, and women with short hair don't.

No offense, Mylinh, Lisa, and Jen. I'm sure you have your reasons for going cut crazy. Just don't ask me how it looks. :)

One Hundred Eighth Entry

San Francisco-Minneapolis/St. Paul-Boston: Friday the 16th

Got to the airport at 4am. Got our boarding passes. Checked in the baggage. My stupid mistake: I had a giant Swiss Army Knife in my pocket. I discovered this fact when I was next in line at the Security Checkpoint. Being retarded, I just threw the knife into the little baskets they give you to put all your change in. The Security guy:

"You are my easiest catch today."

That left me with two options: Mail the knife to myself from the airport, or check in my carryon. I tried to mail the knife to myself, but the FOB that worked at the bookstore didn't understand a single word I said. So I smiled and said thank you profusely and walked to the Northwest counter. I told the lady my situation and she told me that it would cost an additional $80 to check in another bag. Then she said that if I saw my bag still back behind the counter, I could just stuff it in there. I saw it, so I stuffed it. Phew.

I got back into the Security line and Jen was already at the gate chillin. So I waited and waited and finally got through with my carryon. Excellent. The flight boarded an hour later.

Our flight stopped in Minneapolis/St. Paul (Twin Cities). We meandered through the terminal. And a cool terminal it was. Very much like a mall. No smoking though...arrghh.

Flew in to Boston. My first impressions of Boston were that it is a busy city, and that, at least at the airport, the people were nice and friendly. They might have been tourists like Jen and I. I called up my friend Micah. She had emailed me directions on how to get to her apartment from the airport. But being new in the city, these directions meant nothing. I called her up on her 'briefcase' and asked to tell me what to do. Simple enough..."Get on the shuttle bus to the 'T' station. Hop on the inbound blue line and get off at government center. Transfer to either the 'B', 'C', or 'D' train of the green line and get off at Arlington. I will be waiting at the top of the stairs." Simple enough.

We navigated the subway network they call the 'T'. We met up without any major incident. Introductions made.

"Jen, this is Micah. Micah, this is Jen."

We followed Micah for about 5 minutes to her apartment. Her street is really beautiful. Trees line the street on both sides and make a clear view of the sky near impossible. On a sunny day, the green-filtered sunlight is really something.

We dropped our stuff off at our home for the next few days, got the tour of Micah's apartment, rested a bit, and took off for dinner and a BoSox game.

The place we ate at for dinner was called 'Marche'. "Allons au Marche!" That was the coolest place we ate dinner during the whole trip! It was set up in the style of a French market. There were different stalls in the restaurant. Some with raw meats that they would cook up right then and there, some with different kinds of hot soups, some with Asian foods, some with desserts.
How it works:

You are given a sheet of paper upon entrance to the restaurant. You go through and if you see something you like, you ask the person behind the stall for it and they stamp your card. Its as simple as that!

The tough thing is controlling how much you take...it all looks so good. So, nearly $30 later, I was on my way to the BoSox game with Jen and Micah. We hopped on the 'T' and got off near the park. The walk to Fenway Park was full of encounters with ticket scalpers.

"Need tickets for the game?"
"Got two tickets for tonights game...TWO TICKETS!"

The game was fun. We got there in the middle of the 4th inning. The BoSox were up by 2. But true to form, they choked and ended up losing. The game itself, however, was not the most entertaining part of the game. The crowd is what was the main attraction for me. We had great seats. Right behind Center Field. Right next to the loudest, crudest, drunkest fans ever. I couldn't help but laughing because their accents are so foreign.

"Yoh bray-kin mah dahdeh's haht!"
In English:"Your breaking my daughter's heart!" (Still doesn't make sense out of context)

So we walked back to the 'T' after the game. On the way to the 'T', we saw something that would be imitated, mostly by me, for the rest of the trip. Apparently, Bostonians like to stomp on things, especially the grates one sometimes finds in the sidewalk. You know, the metal gate-lookin things you walk on top of. Anyway, Bostonians particularly like to stomp and scrape their shoes on these grates while cussing under their breath. And so it was for the rest of the trip.

"God-dammit son-of-a mother, gaad"

Boston-Providence-Boston: Saturday the 17th

We woke up early on Saturday because I had made arrangements to take the train down to Providence and hang out with my family. I have several cousins in Providence, by the way. I had heard a lot about these cousins, but nothing I had heard could have helped me prepare for them. They are the most energetic and friendly people you would ever want to meet. Apparently, I had met them when I was a lot younger, but I don't remember.

Jen and I got off the train at about 10:30. The plan was that Jen would go off and 'explore' the city, while I hung out with the family. As we got off the train, I got my cell phone ready to call my family. That was the plan. I would call them and they would come to the train station and pick me up. I got to the top of the escalator from the platform and I vaguely recognized three people sitting on the bench waiting for someone. I walked up to them and said,

"Hi, I'm Phillip."

They all stood up and introduced themselves again and hugs and handshakes all around! I was so happy! My peoples!

I introduced Jen to Elio, Lucy and Tia Serafina. This was the part where Jen was supposed to go off and 'explore'. But we quickly got sucked in to the "Da Rosa Whirlwind". So much for Jen 'exploring'. Before you know it, we were at a Dunkin' Donuts, one of millions we would come across in our travels. There we took the first pictures. (I forgot my camera, so Jen became the official Providence photographer. Thanks Jen!)

After a quick cawfee and donut, we were whisked to my aunts house. My aunts house is an old tenement house. There are six apartments in this three story house. Each apartment is occupied by members of the same family. After a tour of two of the apartments, Jen, Elio, Tia Serafina and I were off to eat lunch at a Portuguese restaurant called Riviera. It is owned by someone my dad grew up with in his village back in the "old country". The food was pretty good. I haven't eaten in a proper portuguese restaurant in quite some time.

After lunch, we went back to the house. We hung around for a while and saw the grounds. We saw their wine making tools and actually got a bottle of wine to take with us back to Boston. We also got some sweet bread to take with us. Yummmm.

We made plans to go to Newport, a pretty town on the coast of Rhode Island. This time the whole family went. Tia Serafina, Lucy and her two daughters Mikaela and Stephanie, Vital and his son Joshua and Elio. Off we went to Newport.

In the car on the way to Newport, everyone was talking at the same time. It was so cool. All the kids were listening to Eminem. At some point, I was asked what California was really like by Joshua (14 yrs). To which I responded...

"Everyone is tanned and surfs a lot."

In Newport we got to see the mansion Jackie Bouvier grew up in. We got to see the church she and JFK got married in.

In Newport, there is a street that is lined with giant mansions built by old money in the late 19th/early 20th centuries. For a reasonable fee, you can tour as many of the mansions you want. They were just beautiful...and giant!!! We didn't get to see any of them because we were on a tight schedule. We did stop at a monument honoring the portuguese people of Rhode Island. It is right on the coast. We took a family photo there (thanks Jen!) and then climbed down a scary lookin ladder to the actual shoreline. It was full of tidepools, full of warm Atlantic Ocean water. Very picturesque.

The highlight of the drive, had to be the pitstop at a seafood shack on the side of the road. It was a tiny little building. They serve all kinds of seafood machinations. The things I had were Clam Cakes. They were sooooooo good. Mmmmm-mm. Jen had something called a quahog. It was stuffed, and supposedly good.

After the Clam Cakes, we drove back to Providence. Once we got there, it was very nearly time for Jen and I to get back to the train station. So we said our goodbyes and with sweetbread and wine in hand, Lucy drove us to the train station. At the train station, we found that we had 20 minutes to kill because the train was late. Lucy, Tia Serafina and Stephanie all hung around with us til it was time to leave.

When it was time to say the final goodbye, it was sad for me. I did not think I would ever enjoy visiting my family this much. I thought it would be awkward and clumsy at first because I couldn't remember meeting these people. But they didn't care. I was family, and Jen was as good as family. They are a very hospitable family that made me feel welcome. They were already making plans for me to go there next year!

I felt kinda bad for Jen because I know she wanted to go and 'explore' Providence. But when I told her I felt bad for that, she said it was cool and had fun. Sweet!

So, the train ride back to Boston was uneventful, as it should have been. I called Micah once we got back into historic South Station. I was supposed to snag her keys so I could get into her apartment. She was going to dinner when we got into Boston. So we hooked up and she gave me her keys.

We got to her apartment and unloaded. I busted open the wine and drank some with Jen. I'm not usually a wine person, but this wine was good. Then I remembered that I was supposed to call Lucy to let her know that we got back OK. I did, and I again expressed my gratitude for their hospitality.

After resting a bit, we took off for dinner. We decided to go to Chinatown. We found a decent looking Sushi place and grubbed. It was pretty good. The pearl tea wasn't too hot, but oh well. We walked around Chinatown a bit and made our way to a CVS. CVS is just like Rite-Aid. We bought toilet paper and water. There were tons of people walking around downtown. We walked around a bit more and headed back to the apartment. We watched some TV and drank the rest of the wine. Then we went to sleep.

Boston: Sunday the 18th

Sunday morning I awoke to the ringing of my cell phone. It was Micah. She spent the night over at her sisters house and needed someone to let her in to her apartment when she got there. I said sure. I really had no choice since I had her keys. I got up and milled around the apartment for a while.

Micah showed up with her cousin John. He seems like a pretty cool dude. He's married and has a kid...and looks about my age.

Jen and I got ready and left the apartment. We visited historical Faneuil Hall. It is a pretty cool shopping area. There are a bunch of buildings, old and new. I had some pretty good Fish and Chips. We walked up and down the promenade they have there between buildings. Very pretty, lots of people.

Outside of Faneuil Hall, there was an Australian Tom Cruise look-a-like Street Performer. He was some sort of a contortionist with a screw loose. His accent was funny, it was a mix of Australian and Bostonian. I wasn't too impressed with his act. I have seen stuff like that before on the Late Show w/Letterman.

Afterwards, we found the Holocaust Memorial. Very moving. I had a moment...

Then we found a trail of double bricks that weaves all over the city known as the 'Freedom Trail'. This trail, when followed from start to finish, passes by all of the historical places in Boston. We started at Faneuil Hall and walked all over the city following the trail. We saw Paul Revere's house, the nation's oldest restaurant, Little Italy, Old North Church, some cemetaries that have some really old dead people, Bunker Hill (the famous Revolutionary War battle site), and ended up at the USS Constitution. In all, it took us the major part of the day just nonstop walking. We even got a little lost when looking for the Constitution. We had to walk under a freeway in a very shady neighborhood.

On the way back into downtown, we decided that it would be best to take the 'T' since neither of us wanted to walk all the way back.

Back in downtown, we found a Borders and did a little more sightseeing.

I called Micah because we were to have dinner with her and her family. She met us in Boston Common and walked us to her sisters house. After walking the whole day on the 'Freedom Trail', the last thing I wanted to do was walk some more. But it was a short walk.

Micah's sister, Karissa, had just had her Bridal Shower and there was tons of food left. I pigged out on deviled eggs and cake. It was good! As it turned out, Micah's family was not too interested in eating out. Micah still wanted to go, and so did her Aunt and cousin, so we met them at the Cheers bar in Faneuil Hall. Again, we walked there.

Micah's aunt and cousin are really cool. Ron was also there; he is a very good friend of the family. We all just hung out at the Cheers bar (which looks nothing like the one in the TV show, even though it claims to be an exact replica of the set) for a little while. Then Ron took off after consuming several beers. When it was time for the rest of us to leave and go eat, we discovered the Ron, who had said he would take care of the check, had done no such thing. Well...

In any case, we made our way to Little Italy for some Italian food. Micah claimed that this place was the best Italian food in Boston. She wasn't too far off the mark. I really liked it. We did have to stand outside in line forever, but it was worth it. Micah's Aunt Mary is hilarious!!!

After dinner, Micah and her family headed back to her sisters house and Jen and I went off and ate some Gelato. We couldn't find anything close to authentic Italian Gelato. It was all too creamy. Oh well.

Little Italy was hoppin that night. Tons of people and cars. Everyone wanted to eat Italian that night, I guess.

We made our way back to downtown and chilled in Faneuil Hall. We just sat down on one of the benches and rested. It was a long day and we needed a rest. It was then that we noticed a strange man throwing stuff about. We feared for our lives and took off.

At about 10:30 at night, we walked through Boston Common. Boston Common is the Central Park of Boston. It isn't nearly as big, but serves the same purpose; it is a haven in the middle of downtown which provides a calm, peaceful setting amid the noise and traffic of urban Boston. It was very nice. Very pretty.

For some reason, I can't remember what we did next, but I know I ended up back at Micah's apartment and fell asleep.

Boston: Monday the 19th

Monday was Micah's college graduation. Micah got a Master's degree in English. Very good! Congratulations Micah!!

I got up at the butt crack of early and helped Micah iron her gown because she doesn't know how to iron.

"Oh, how very domesticated of you!"

What am I a cat??

We had to be on the 'T' and meet the rest of the family by 8am. OK. We all met up at the 'T' and boarded. The 'T' was completely empty. There were no other graduates on the train whatsoever! We all started to tease Micah and say that the graduation was actually on Sunday and that her "special" graduation was on Monday. We also teased Micah about her cell phone which was jokingly, but pretty accurately, refered to as a briefcase. Her phone is huge!! It looks like one of those mini hand held TV's. According to John, she could fend off many an attacker with that giant phone.

The teasing continued well after we got off the 'T' and headed for the stadium. There were tons of people out there. Everybody and their mother came to this graduation. We sat in full sun on the side where Micah was supposed to come out. Well, the full sun got the better of us and we all trekked to the other side of the stadium where we were in full shade. Excellent. We waited for what seemed like an eternity, and then the graduates started filing out. We looked and looked for Micah, but we couldn't see her. Ray (Micah's step-dad) finally got up and walked down as close as he could to the grads, and found her. We all waved. She wasn't looking.

After the massive graduation, with its many boring speeches, we hiked to Micah's small ceremony. We could see her a lot better there. When her name was called, we cheered and she got up. She owned the place...for 10 seconds. She strutted (inside joke) across the stage and shook everything she had. Fire!!!

A reception followed the ceremony and it was just a 'coffee and' type thing. Micah (forcefully) told us that she wanted to take pictures in front of a pretty building. It was nice indeed. But too many pictures!! Just Kidding.

We then headed downtown, back home. I called Jen to see if she wanted to meet up or something. She said she was cool and that she would see me at the BBQ. Micah was having a BBQ at her apartment for her graduation. I needed to go do something so I told Micah that I would be there later. I was on a mission. I needed to find a BoSox hat.

Micah had suggested a place called Lids. I went there, but they had every size except for mine. Arrrrgh.

I tried another place. They told me that I should just go over to Fenway Park and buy one there.

I stopped by Bath and Body Works and bought Micah her grad present. I also bought her a card with some sexual innuendo, because what would a card to Micah be, if it didn't have any sexual innuendo?

Present taken care of, I went to Fenway Park to complete my mission. I found the BoSox shop and shortly after entering it, I noticed a loud voice that seemed familiar. I listened, and turned toward this man. It was one of the crazy guys from the game on Friday night! Very interesting!! I regrouped, continued my mission and bought a clean, fitted, 7 3/8 size BoSox hat. Mission completed.

I decided that the walk back to the house wouldn't be that bad so I walked home. Boy was that a mistake! I saw stuff that I really wouldn't have seen otherwise, though. I saw Back Bay Park...uh...thats about it. It was a long walk.

I remembered that I was supposed to walk Newbury street. So I did. Very interesting. A bunch of stores.

I was dead tired from all that walking. So I stopped at the Public Gardens. I sat there for a good half hour just people watching. There were a lot of young professionals walking around like they just got off of work, all talking on their cell phones and talking with that cool accent. While people watching, I noticed that Jen was walking around too! I was going to call her, but then said no, she is probably on her way somewhere. But then I thought, what the hell.

Jen had the idea to buy flowers for Micah for graduation. Awwwww, how sweet! She bought her a Gerbera flower in a pot. Very pretty.

At some point in our walking that night, I bought a puzzle ring from a street vendor. More on that later...

At some other point in our walking that night, we went to Trader Joes and, on the way, ran into Lisa's future husband, Ed. He said it was way far. We weren't deterred. I bought some nasty snacks for the bus ride into NYC and some candies for Micahs party. Excellent. We made our way to Micah's.

As we were walking to her apartment I had to stop and take a picture of a restaurant which had the name of one of my coworkers. Via Matta, it was called. While I was stopped fiddling with my camera, a homeless bum came up and started harassing us. I ended up giving him a cigarette. Not too bad.

Micah's BBQ was fun. Good food, lots of fun people. I actually mingled a little bit. I surprised myself. Then, I decided to take off my puzzle ring and mess it up. That was a mistake and that was 9 hours of my life that I want back from the street vendor that sold the ring to me. The rest of my night was spent trying to put it back together again and asking other people to help. I went to sleep and the ring was still not put together.

Boston-New York City: Tuesday the 20th


New York City: Wednesday the 21st


New York City: Thursday the 22nd


New York City: Friday the 23rd


New York City: Saturday the 24th


New York City-Boston: Sunday the 25th


Boston-Detroit-San Francisco: Monday the 26th

One Hundred Seventh Entry

As I sit here in EasyInternet writing my blog, I can hear the taxis outside honking away at unsuspecting pedestrians.

I am in New York. Today turned into a do your own thing day.

This is our (Jen's and mines) last day in NYC. I am coming home with a ton of souvenirs.

The trip has been a success! I have yet to go up the Empire State Building because everytime I have tried, it is shrouded in fog.

Recap:

I was on TV
I saw Al Roker, Katie Couric and Matt Lauer
I saw Rupert from the Letterman show
I had several bad experiences in Chinatown, and one really good one
I ate BBQ in Harlem
I saw Antonio Banderas
I sang Karaoke on my birthday
I walked through Central Park
I almost got a ticket for Conan
I was on TV
I ate at the Seinfeld restaurant
I saw the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island
I cruised Times Square at night
I saw RENT
I visited the Guggenheim
I visited the Met
and I was on TV.

The only thing left to do is go up the Empire State Building.

It has been really fun, and I must thank Jen for making it as fun as it has been!

More later...times running out.

One Hundred Sixth Entry

I am super pissed.

The two hour season finale for Alias was really good. The fight scene at the end was reeeaaaalllllllllly good!! But, I absolutely did not like how it ended!!

They are in the future. Only 2 years in the future, but in the future. Vaughn has moved on from Sidney, thinking she was dead, and got married to someone else.

How could Sidney be asleep for two years??

Answer: The Rimbaldi machine is a time machine. At some point early in the next season, Sidney will eventually return from 2005 to 2003...hopefully.

That is the only out I can think of. Last seasons finale was of the classic variety. A "Who Shot JR"-esque finale. But this one is unparalleled. It is absurd that Sidney wake up in Hong Kong after 2 years with some scar on her belly. It is just too weird.

Another thing. Why did Sidney pass out after the battle with Francine? She shot Fran twice, but neither of them were lethal shots. In the shoulder and the side. During their struggle, Fran must have taken the poison she had in her ring and stabbed it into Sid. And $20 says that Francine did not die. After Sid passed out, she called for backup and they took Sid. They got what they needed (hence the scar on her belly) and threw her into the Rimbaldi time machine 2 years into the future. It is the perfect cover up for the crime!! If the victim is in the future, how can anyone find out??

Very interesting....much to think about this summer. It's gonna drive me nuts!!!

So yeah, I am pissed with how they ended the season. I have a nagging feeling that this upcoming season will be one of many character eliminations, now that Will is dead (in particular, Sark, and Dixon; with two years time elapse to play with (assuming they don't come back to '03) these two, being minor characters and having a lot of baggage, can have a lot happen to them).

We shall see.

One Hundred Fifth Entry

I suck.

I didn't walk today.
That leaves two hours to do sometime this weekend.
Guess what, it is supposed to rain all day tomorrow and Saturday. So much for my fuckin plan.

I should just surrender now.

There is no way I am going walking in the rain.

Even more bad news...next week the temperature is going to be in the high 70s and low 80s all week. And that means that it is just going to get hotter from here on out.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

One Hundred Fourth Entry

Today was a good day. Yesterday was a good day. Monday was OK.

Monday my legs were super sore from the marathon I walked on Sunday. I could hardly walk at work. Yes, I know, I shouldn't have waited 'til the last minute. Work dragged because my legs hurt. After work I had a test in Spanish and after that, I took my Portuguese test a day early so I could miss class yesterday.

Tuesday my legs were not feeling any better when I woke up. Once they got warmed up though, they felt better. Work also dragged again. After work, I attended a public meeting in Visalia. I was the Official Portuguese Language Liason. I wasn't needed. There wasn't a single non-English speaking person there.
The meeting was totally interesting. The consultant had set up four tables all with parcel maps (maps showing each property on the street). One table was Engineering, one was Traffic/Safety, one was Environmental, and one was Right of Way. My job was to interpret for Portuguese people, but that wasn't necessary. Instead, I helped people find their houses on the maps and try to answer questions.
It was interesting to see peoples reactions when they realized that this road widening project was going to tear through their home. I think only 4 or 5 houses are going to be torn down for the road. It makes complete sense to me. If it was my house, I would understand. The County would pay me a fair market value for my house, and I would move. But some of these people at the meeting have been living there for their entire lives.
We were expecting a bloodbath from the residents, but that did not materialize. They were understanding. I asked one lady if she needed help with anything. She turned to me and said that she didn't need any help, but that she was extremely dissatisfied with all the property she was losing. She then looked at my nametag and noticed "Engineer I". I saw that, and said that I was pretty new at all this. She smiled and said gently, "Don't you let all this talk discourage you. We know that this project is needed. But its our job as residents to complain, just as it is your job as Engineers to make these projects happen. Its just the way it is." I thought that was a great way of looking at it. Of course, she wasn't losing her house. The road missed her by several yards. Lucky.

Today my legs felt a lot better and the soreness was reduced to my shins and ankles. Can you die from shin splints?? Anyway, work had an air of excitement about it because tomorrow is Birthday Treats day.
Background: Every first Thursday of the month one of the divisions in our agency sets up a buffetesque deal in the Breakroom to celebrate all the birthdays that are happening in the month ahead. Its a different division each month.
Tomorrow is Designs turn. We were all kind of excited. I am bringing, ahem..., fruit salad, 15 loaves of sweetbread, deviled ham sandwiches and Sunny Delight. I should probably now say that some people participate more than others. We will also have deviled eggs, hot dogs and honey sesame buns (which I am excited about because Gloria made them...yummmmmm). Its gonna be good.
Since it is Mayday (May 1st), we decided to go with a Mayday theme. We made a Maypole and everything. Its pretty cool.
I ditched class tonight. I decided that I did not want to starve, so I came home and made a Mac n Cheese Casserole thingy. Not the box crap, the real stuff. I liked it. I made way too much though. Oh well, leftovers for a week.
American Idol pissed me off tonight. I thought for sure Josh would be in the bottom 2. Damn it!! I kinda liked Trenyce. I hope Josh goes soon. He sucks ass. And is it just me, or are Clay and Kim hookin' up? It sure looks like it. I totally want to see "From Justin to Kelly".

I am going to watch the Lizzie McGuire Movie this weekend with my 11 year old cousin Dalila. The reviews for the movie say it sucks, but I'll go anyway.

Starting tomorrow (Thursday) I will walk 30 minutes each day. If I feel like it, I could walk more. I was thinking that 40 minutes each day would take only three days to complete the requirement, as opposed to the 4 days needed for 30 minute walks. Excellent thinking Phil. Thank you Phil.

Wish us luck tomorrow for Birthday Treats!!!

One Hundred Third Entry

Well...

I should really be writing this in a separate journal, but I am currently almost too tired to type, so setting up a new blog would probably kill me.

My hell that is Cardio Bet got under way today.

In what turned out to be a very tiring and stressful week at work and school, I had to, at some point in time, fit in two hours of cardio exercise.

I was tired all week and on top of that, I woke up Friday to a mild sore throat, which almost always means an illness to follow. I was not able to complete my requirement during the week.

I was fine(apart from mini sore throat) Saturday and babysat the kids. They are a lot of fun. But they tired me out. I slept all day after they left and woke up at 6p to go back to Paulas for dinner and a game. Again, not able to complete requirement.

I woke up this morning feeling OK. I couldn't find my wallet. I needed to go do laundry, which requires driving to the laundromat, which requires a license, which was in my wallet. I called Paula and she didn't have it, and said she would call if she found it. I searched and searched all over my house and truck. Nothing. I called Paula at about 1:30 pm and she found it in the cushions of the sofa. Excellent.

I got my wallet and took off for the laundromat. I threw all my wash in and went walking. I walked for 15 minutes one way and turned around and walked the(presumably) 15 minutes back. I did this when the clothes were drying too. I completed first hour of Cardio.

What I did wrong.
I wore sandals to the laundromat. And not the cushy kind that you could run a marathon in, the heavy hard leather ones...kinda like birks. I have blisters on the top of my foot where the strap was rubbing. OUCH!

Once I got home, clothes washed and 1 hour of Cardio done, I watched a little TV. That was a mistake. I did not want to get up. I sat there for like 2 hours. My leg muscles had completely filled with lactose or whatever and I was pretty sore.

I made myself get up and walked to my grandmas house, half an hour away. I wore proper shoes this time. I felt better. I got to my grandmas house, ate dinner and left. My grandpa wanted to give me a ride home, but I had to explain the bet to them and when I told them of the part about Union Square, they busted up laughing.

I started my walk home. I was about a third of the way there when I felt a bowel movement coming on...OH NO!!! Luckily, there was a mini-mart on the way. I stopped and used their bathroom. Just as soon as I sat down and started to go, I noticed there was no TOILET PAPER!!! Shit, shit, shit, shit. No pun intended. There were papertowels, which I ended up using to, ahem, wipe. I pooed for days. I hadn't pooed all day, so.... Anyway. I got up from the toilet and, well, the papertowel was a lot thicker than regular toilet paper...so...I kinda clogged the toilet. I looked around for a plunger, but nothing! I quietly gave it another flush to see if it would budge, but no. I then swiftly shut the toilet door, weaved through the store aisles and was out the door before you could say 'clog'.

As soon as I got home, and sure that the police would be knocking on my door for the toilet incident, I layed down quietly on my sofa and watched a little TV. It was then that I noticed another thing.

I remember a while back Jen telling me that exercising can compromise your immune system. So guess what happened to that sore throat that I had Friday and Saturday? Well, its turned into something and I feel like shit all over. Fuck me.

You try to do something good in your life and what happens? You get sick and clog toilets.

Silver Lining: Alias was really good tonight, and I can't wait for next weeks finale!!!!!

One Hundred Second Entry

It's been a while.

I have yet to complete my Cardio Bet requirement for the week. I think that I will fail. No time and no energy. I am completely drained after this week...the week from HELL!! Just Kidding. I was just tired all week.

Since the workout week is from Monday to Sunday, I still have this weekend to try and dig myself out of this little hole I've dug myself into. Arrrgh. I already hate this bet. It is so impossible!

Maybe I could do my walking while my clothes are at the laundromat. It takes about half an hour to wash and another half hour to dry. I could walk for 1 whole hour while my clothes are washing and drying. Very good thinking Phil...thanks Phil.

I am going to babysit my little cousins tomorrow while Paula is at work. It should be lots of fun. I get to watch Dalila play softball. After that, we come back to my house and watch TV all day. Paula gets off work at 1:30, so hopefully the kids won't be completely bored tomorrow. I don't know how I am going to keep them off my stairs though...I'll have to think about it.

Lisa's visit was a very welcome respit from my dreary weekend routine of doing nothing. I really enjoyed her company; it was good to see a fresh face. Thanks Lisa for coming down!!!!

Everything is officially in stone for the Boston trip. No thanks to me of course, it was all Jens doing. Thanks to her forward planning and excellent credit card wealth, everything is secure. She will be handsomely rewarded...lets just say the reward is ummm...yummy.

Jen wants to take the Fung Wah Bus into NY. At first I thought it was kind of shady. It only costs $20 round trip and it will all be Chinese people. This bus drives from Boston to NY in about 5 hours. But it drives to Chinatown in NY which is many miles away from our hotel in lower lower Manhattan. But, this afternoon, I spoke with Micah and she told me that she has taken the bus before and it is "crazy", in a good way. Even though she liked it, she said that since Chinatown is so far away from the hotel, we would not like lugging our luggage for like 5 miles on the Subway. I almost agree with her, but we would only have to do it twice on the whole trip, once to our hotel, and once to go back to Boston. Micah says that the Greyhound bus is the one she takes now because it drops you off in the middle of everything, Times Square, and is not much more expensive than the "China Bus", as she calls it. She also maintains that we should be able to just walk up to the ticket counter the day we need the ticket and buy it, like in the movies...hmmm...I don't know if I buy that.

Anywho, more excited about Boston, less excited about the Cardio Bet and somewhat apprehensive about babysitting tomorrow.

If I am alive tomorrow night, I will let you know how it went.

One Hundred First Entry

This is gonna get tricky in the 100's.

I am really excited about the Cardio Bet. I am also very excited about Boston in May.

I was excited about Canada in July, but noone in my family wants to go. So I put it out to the public. Does anyone want to fly to Toronto for my cousins wedding the weekend of July 4th? Ooooh, Toronto!! The largest city in Canada(I think). Fun, fun, fun!! Niagara Falls!! The CN Tower! I think I can take a guest to the wedding...interesting...I will have to check it out. But yeah if anyones interested.

I am excited that Lisa is going to be here on Thursday! I get to pick her up at the luxurious Hanford Train Depot and whisk her away to the fabulous Toste manor. There we will dine solely poultry cuisine and partake of the various activities in surrounding beautiful Tularia.

I have to get some sleep, the SARS is affecting my brain.

One Hundredth Entry

I never thought I would get this far! Wow!!! It has been a turbulent and trying 100 blogs. I'll spare the flashbacks, you can read them if you want to.

I watched "Not Another Teen Movie" last night. It was hilarious!!! Very "artfully" done.

I watched "Minority Report" today because I left work early due to my SARS. Very good movie!! I really enjoyed it all the way from the beginning to the end. Great 'Film Noir'(I learned that watching the Special Features DVD that came with it).

I am really getting excited about the whole Cardio Bet thing with Jen and Amy. Much exercise will be had by ALL!! I need something like this to get me motivated to workout. Lord knows I need it. Not to mention all the TV I will fall out of the habit of watching!!

I watch too much TV. My most recent obsession has been BBC America again. But Michael Richards was on Graham Norton last night! How could I not watch?

I have started a good habit recently. I read now at least 20 pages of a book before I go to sleep every night. It helps me fall asleep faster. I am not reading novels, just collections of short stories. It is easier to go to sleep when the issue in the story has been resolved. Thank you Isaac Asimov.

That is all.

Ninety-Ninth Entry

I only worked half a day today. I have SARS. I got the SARS from one of my coworkers, probably on Friday when we were driving around forever. It was fun though. I had never gone out in the field with Bill. He is a fun guy to work with. So yeah, he has been sick for like 2 weeks and decided it would be fun to pass it on to me. Oh well. After our drive we stopped at Perkos and ate. Being a good Catholic, I ate pancakes and eggs...no meat.

After work on Friday, I went home and packed for my trip up to the Bay. I was packed quickly and took off. I made good time...approx. 3.25 hours. I stopped at the SLUSD District Office to pay a visit to old coworkers. I stopped and visited my dad at Madison, then I went home. I did nothing, absolutely nothing on Friday. I hung out at home. It was fun. Fred showed me all sorts of stuff he has been doing on his computer. It was cool. If you all ever get the chance, check out this website, Homestar Runner. It is stupid funny. It is full of flash cartoons. Just surf around a little and check it out.

On Saturday, I woke up at the butt crack of 8. I took my truck in at 10 to be serviced and came back just in time to help my mom with the BBQ she was having at 4. The BBQ was in honor of my brothers birthday which was 3 weeks ago. Better late than never. It was a fun BBQ and a great excuse to have all my friends get together. It was nice to see Louis and Jen together. They are happy. Everyone was looking at Jen's ring. I could tell she was a little embarrassed by everyone wanting to see her ring. Louis was all showy with his. Typical Louis, of course. Kameelah(spelling?) was there and it was good to see her. She is doing very well. My parents were very impressed with her. My mom called me today and said that she and my aunt were talking about Kameelah and how sophistocated she is. I was like, yeah, she is. A very nice person.

After the BBQ, we went to Karaoke. It was really fun. There was a newcomer, Larry. He is one of Dayni's friends from Davis. After Karaoke, we went to IHOP. It was OK. Mylinh, of course, didn't eat anything. I worry about her sometimes....After IHOP, Dayni went with Larry to Mountain View to spend the night...hmmm.... Add on top of that the fact that I didn't see Dario this weekend and, well, you can draw your own conclusions. Just Kidding!!

Sunday I woke at 10. I went downstairs and sat outside and chatted with my parents for like 2 hours. It was cool. My brothers are completely lazy. They slept all morning. Ah, to be young again...

I went out to Pearl Tea with Jen and Lisa in Newark. It was good as usual.

I left my house at about 5:45 and made it back to my apartment at about 8:40. I made really good time! That was the first time under 3 hours in quite a while. It does help that I do live near a freeway on both ends of the trip.

And then I woke up this morning to congestion and SARS. If I die from this SARS, I blame all the Asians I encountered in Newark on Sunday. Just Kidding. I'm sure its just what Bill had last week.

So thats my recap. How is everyone else doing?

Ninety-Eighth Entry

I am back in San Leandro. And it is as wet and cold as I remember. Ahhhh....

I just got back from taking my truck in for its 30,000 mile service. More later...

Ninety-Seventh Entry

Good news to report, Fenix is alive!

A little after I got the news that she was dead, she came back. I did not find this out until today though.

So yeah, Fenix is alive and well, apart from being a little scared my the neighbors dogs.

night.

Ninety-Sixth Entry

Work was interesting today. I was somewhat busy today. One of the recent promotees is starting to get on my nerves. It's nothing too bad, just incessant. He was an instant ally because we both went to Cal Poly, and most everyone else went to Fresno State. I think a Mustang could stomp all over a bulldog any day.

Anyway, he is constantly commenting on my cigarette breaks. "I could smell your trail." Oh please, 50% of the people that work for the county smoke. That's what we get for living in an impoverished, undereducated county.

So I have bad news. Fenix, my brothers kitty, has apparantly met her maker at the hands of the neighbors dogs. She got out of the house and hopped the fence and met 2 big dogs. The last thing my brother heard was the dogs barking and a loud squeal by the kitty. He is pretty upset about it all. Oh well. That cat was all screwed up in the head. She was nuts. And who's fault was that, FRED??

I am tired. I have an exam tomorrow night in Psych. I haven't studied. This could be the end of my A's streak. Who cares!! Next week is Spring Break!! Wooo hoooo!!...I have to read 4 chapters by tomorrow night at 7pm. Each chapter is 30+ pages. Oy...

I have been in contact with Jen and she says that I could join in on the "bet". What bet? I asked her to clarify it.

I discovered the joy of internet radio at work last week. So many channels to choose from. I found this great British radio station from London that plays a lot of Brit pop and rock that you don't hear here. Supposedly, the powers that be downstairs don't care about internet radio use, just improper net surfing. Sounds lame.

I am thinking of skipping work for a few hours and going to the flea market on Thursday morning. I heard it is all that and a bag of frijoles, if you know what I mean. DVD's for $10. Sweeeet.

Anyone want to go to Canada in July? I am going to my cousins wedding on the 6th of July. Fortunately for me, the 4th of July is on the Friday prior and means one less vacation day. Double sweeeet. So yeah, the wedding is in Toronto. My parents are thinking of going too which means free everything, except for plane tix. I am planning on leaving July 3rd and returning either the 8th or 9th.

Wow, I am really on the move here! Two vacations in one year?? Wow.

And I still think I will have enough vacation come next February to go to Mardi Gras in Brasil. Triple sweeeet.

Well, I am off to study. Wish me luck.

Ninety-Fifth Entry

Work today was somewhat of a bear. I was soooo tired all day. I hate Daylight Savings or whatever it is.

I am feeling motivated by Jen's new website and blogs. I want to set a regimen for myself which includes working out, eating sensibly, and regaining that positive outlook on life. I think that once I am done with school I can devote more time(like I do any now) to working out and cooking more for myself. As it is now, the work out I get is walking at work, at school and at home. And I eat fast food four or five times a week cuz I am always on my way somewhere and its fast. Any tips Jen?

As per Lisa's request, I watched "Bend It Like Beckham". I DL'ed it off a certain file sharing program and watched it. It is a very funny movie. Thanks for the tips Lisa!!

I am soooooo tired. It's only 9:45!! Time for sleep.

Ninety-Fourth Entry

Today I had a thought of how funny it would be if someone referred to Amy Grant's music as foreign or alien. I thought of this while passing the intersection of Mooney and Prosperity (SB, of course) and instantly laughed out loud for at least a minute. Then I remembered that my window was open and thought it best to stop.

That was not the first time I had a hilariously funny thought whilst driving to and fro places and laughed out loud. In fact, it has been happening a lot recently. I had several yesterday. I wonder if it is a sign that I am exiting my "Winter funk". It must be.

Work is really looking up. I am super busy and on Thursday I was told that I get to play contract manager for a Caltrans project. I was really surprised because usually they want someone with a little more expertise in the "contract arts". Supposedly this is a good project to get acquainted with the ways of contract management. I am truly excited. Also, things are moving along very well with my preliminary engineering efforts for the overlays for next year. Things are looking up and a promotion in August to Engineer II is looking a lot more possible than it did a month ago.

I must say that I never thought that being so busy at work and having stuff pile everywhere would be so fulfilling. But after 2+ months of just fuckin around at work with nothing to do, you learn to enjoy hard work.

Something extremely odd happened at work on Thursday. I had to call Mindy(names changed to protect the idiot) at Caltrans. Mindy sounded like the type of woman you would just enjoy having a drink with after work. Very down to earth. Well, the conversation went a little like this...

Me: Hi, I was told by a co-worker that you are the contact at Caltrans for requests for as-builts.
Mindy: Yes, thats me!
Me: Excellent. I just have a few questions for you before I fax the request.
Mindy: Sure.
Me: How much does it cost to request the as-builts?
Mindy: We charge 25 cents a copy, but if there are less than 10, I will just do it for free.
Me: Well, I'm afraid I have quite a few more than 10.
Mindy: Well, if you want, you could send me the paper you want me to print it on.
Me: Excuse me?
Mindy: Yeah, just send me a ream of 11x17 paper and we'll call it even. If its OK with your boss...
Me: (Confused)Ummm...
Mindy: Well, we used to do it for free but I have a Paper Nazi here in the office.
Me: What??
Mindy: Yeah! There's a Paper Nazi that comes around and steals all the extra paper he can find! He is such a fuckin jackass!
Me:
Mindy: He comes around with his little metal push cart and takes all the extra paper! My boss even says that I should use the back side of old paper. I don't want to send that out to the public! They wouldn't know which side is theirs!!
Me: No, no of cour...
Mindy: These fuckin jackasses are so stingy with the paper.
Me: There are two of them?
Mindy: Yeah! They run around the office getting the paper!
Me: Bu...
Mindy: They don't care what we send out to the public!
Me: Hmm...I will have to talk to my boss and see if its alright to send you a whole ream of paper.
Mindy: Alright, let me know.
Me: Ok.
Mindy: Bye.

She had me rollin from the minute she said Paper Nazi and even more rollin when she started cussing. It was hilarious!!

So, I sent her the paper and the request. But I sent it with Khamsing. He is the other Engineer I, and lives in Fresno. He just took off a bit early on Friday to drop it off.

I swear, that call was the funniest thing that has ever happened to me at work.

(Dripping with no sarcasm!)And the fun starts again on Monday!

Ninety-Third Entry

(To the Eminem "Without Me" song)
Guess who's back.
Back again.
Phil is back.
Tell a friend.
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, na na na.

Yes I am back and better than ever. With a new computer and a loaded arsenal, I can't go wrong.

After a month of no communication with the civilized world, I finally got my internet to work at home. Thank you all for all the lovely messages of encouragement through my troubled time.

Now to get you all caught up...

I got a raise at work, I got a new TV and computer, I have been doing really well in school, I have been to the coast TWICE!, I had two visitors from the Bay Area, I have eaten at many peoples houses, I have probably broken a record for the most consecutive trips to Taco Bell, I cleaned my house, messed it up, cleaned again and messed it up again, I have watched more hours of war coverage than all of you combined(except for maybe Louis), I have tried to quit smoking twice, I survived a white out rain/hail storm, I almost got poison oak, work got infinitely more interesting, and I have prepared my garage for painting(Lisa).

Now that you are all caught up, I have some interesting news to share with you all. I left work today and walked into a dust storm. Its not like the ones you see on TV in Iraq, it was more hazy-ish. It was extremely bizzare. It was about as windy today as it had been all winter.

Tell me something interesting about yourselves.

Ninety-Second Entry

I thought of something funny that I could have added to the end bit of my last entry about the Mardi Gras. I could have just modified that last entry, but then this would not have come through as an afterthought.

Jeff Murdoch(Coupling): "It's brilliant! Naked women and breasts! Breasts! Breasts, breasts, breasts!"

Thank you.

Ninety-First Entry

As written in bed last night...

I am lying here in bed feeling defeated.

This weekend was Mylinh's birthday party in San Luis Obispo. I was not invited. This did not surprise me at all. I really would have liked to have been invited, but as better judgement prevailed(if it was even a thought!), I wasn't. It is too soon. To be honest, I think that seeing her anytime before she leaves for Vietnam is too soon.

I knew today was the day my(invited) friends would get back from SLO. Like a soldiers' mother, waiting to hear news of her son from the warfront, I sat around nervously all night waiting for a call I was not sure I would get, with news about the weekend trip. I was actually rather excitable. I pounced on the phone only to find it was a wrong number. I was so sure I would get a call.

I didn't get a call.

"They hate me." "They are tired of all the drama." "They could care less."

Of course, I talked myself into believing that these are unreasonable thoughts.

"If they hated me, they would show it."

Although there is no obvious connection, my last thought led to the realization that I am miserable about the whole Mylinh thing. And the only reason I wanted to hear about the weekend is to hopefully confirm that Mylinh is as miserable as I am.

I think about her all the time. At work, at school, at home. She is in my dreams, visions, nightmares. The more I try to forget, the harder it is. At times I am "in regret". How could it have turned out? Could it have worked out?

But then my brain says, "Shut up heart, you ol' softy. You know the real reasons it ended." And to say that it is my brain saying that, is a stretch.

So when will my heart stop reminding me of what could have been? I don't know, and can't even begin to guess an answer.

Is someone trying to tell me something with all these feelings and thoughts? Perhaps a higher power trying to steer me down the correct path?

Its disgusting isn't it. This is the first time any of this has ever happened to me. I have never had these feelings, and I don't want them ever again.

Apparantly, the party was a huge success, complete with (poisonous?) fog machines and (contaminated?) tri-tip, according to Lisa's livejournal.

She seems to be moving on, so why can't I?

I need to do some intense thinking. I'll probably go "radio silent" for a few days.

I still, today, the day after yesterday, feel the same as I did when I wrote the above on my pad of Calvin and Hobbes paper.

And although, I like the idea of isolating myself for a few weeks and reflecting and possibly picking off the pieces of shit that landed all over my heart, I made a happy realization today: Mardi Gras is next weekend!!! Who wants to go? Parade is on Sunday at 2:03 pm. And you all know me, if I can't find anyone to go with, then I just won't go....sniff, sniff.

Ninetieth Entry

My computer works!! I had to uninstall "The Sims" and "Sim City 4". I guess I will just have to buy a new computer before I can play these games again. And, I guess that until I get a new computer, I will not be able to shut down my computer. It is going to be on forever!!!

But, I probably won't be able to get a new computer until late summer (Sept, Oct?).

Good news. We got our direct deposit pay stubs on Tuesday and our union contract went through! we got a 3% raise!! So now instead of making not nearly enough, I make so close to enough that its disgustingly annoying. Add on top of that my 6 month step increase of 5%, and I will be rollin' in it.

That should all happen next week. My 6 month probationary period will be over next Sunday. I have already filled out my vacation request for Boston in May, and the union application form. I will turn both in once my passing of probation is official from the 'brass' downstairs.

There is a tradition in the County that whenever something good happens to someone, they bring in donuts. Say it was someones birthday, bring in donuts. Say it was someones 30th anniversary of working with the county, bring in donuts. Say someone had a kid, bring in donuts. Say someone passes probation, bring in donuts. Next week I plan on breaking with tradition in favor of something a little more filling and marginally healthier...bagels and cream cheese(maybe Strawberry, Chive & Onion, Sun Dried Tomato). I like the idea. Another idea I was toying with was to buy like 4 pizzas for lunch and have like a lunch party.

I thought of a great name for my band on Tuesday at work..."Cool Commas". What do you think? We would be called "The Commas".

Or not.

Eighty-Ninth Entry

Friday the 14th

Valentines Day was as depressing as it always has been for me. I worked and drove home. I saw a really cool car fire on the 5. And I "caused a rift in deaths plan"(drink) as I was merging onto the 4-lane part of 580 near altamont. I got home like at 5:30 and went to dinner with my dad. We ate at El Amigo over here by my parents' house. Very good. Then I went over to Amy's house. I was the first one there for the "Alone on Valentines Day so lets everyone get together" party. We tried really hard for it to not be depressing, but I just couldn't help it. Oh well. This whole thing with Mylinh's birthday is throwing me into a massive shame spiral. The less I hear about it the better off I am. After the party, I went home and got drunk with Fred and Rouja. They are fun to drink with.

Saturday the 15th

Valentines Day came and went, with no casualties. Lucky me. I went to go see Final Destination 2 with Jen, who, incidentally, is the person I saw Final Destination with. It's all part of deaths design. Muahmuah. After that, we picked up Amy and went to Szechwan chicken. Very good. Then we went to pearl tea in Newark. It was very good, as usual. Then we hit Rasputins and I bought some rockin' records. And then we came home. I was supposed to go out to dinner with my family, but my mom was asleep and there is no waking her up when she is sleeping. So I slept. For two hours.
Then, Amy, Jen, Lisa and I went to karaoke with Fred and Rouja. It was a lot of fun. Then we went to Walmart where we did quality assurance checks of all the patio furniture and living room furniture. Jen was being stalked by a dirty old man. hahaha. I got home it was like at 3am and did not get to bed until 4:30. Infomercials are great!! I neeeeeed the FoodSaver vacuum sealing system!!

Sunday the 16th

Dayni calls me at the buttcrack of 10AM to tell me I am going to OSHA(thai cuisine place in SF) with her, Jen, Lisa and Carolyn. I had agreed to it the night before, so I went. Dayni drove. She absolutely hates driving in the city. We actually, seriously almost died in the car. But the food was really good. I had Pad Thai. After that, we decided to walk on down to FAO Schwartz toy store which is going out of business soon. I wanted to get some legos, but I didn't. The ones they had left sucked. After that, we noticed that there was an anti-war protest on market. So we joined in. It was really cool. Its hard to put into words the sensation of the cheers of the crowds getting louder and louder until finally we were cheering ourselves. It was very 1984, two-minute hate-esque.

Tonight

Tonight I am supposed to go to dinner with my family and go bowling after with friends. We'll see how that goes.

Eighty-Eighth Entry

Today I thought of a great storyline for a movie.

I tried to do my taxes today. It is so hard filling out the 1040 form. I have always just used the 1040EZ, but now that I have Student Loan Interest I can deduct, I have to fill out either the 1040A or the 1040. I really dont know what the difference is between the two, but it must be something. Itemized this, credit that. It's all Czech to me.

My cousin Rodrigo is spending the night at my house tonight. We went out and ate at Togos in Visalia. It was as good as I remember. Last time I ate there was like two weeks ago in San Leandro...right around the last time I saw and heard from Louis. I am convinced that his disappearance has to do with either his election to the School Board or Jen. I'm glad he has found happiness. But that doesn't mean he can ignore 3 messages! Just kidding.

We rented Goldmember tonight. I was reluctant to rent it because I had already seen it, but my cousin hadn't. It was still funny. Lots o' Laughs. My cousin pointed out something in the movie that I hadn't and should've noticed before. In the scene where they are chasing Goldmember and accidentally run into Godzilla(but not really) there was a Pokemon character running in front of it. Charmander! I was surprised to see that.

I was supposed to practice piano today, but I didn't. Shame on me. The longer I don't practice the piano, the nastier things will get for me in class. Yes, I said nastier. That is one quirk(of the many) of the professor in Piano. She likes to say nasty. Not in a nasty way(like "Ms. Jackson, if you're nasty"), but in a more innocent way(like "Gee Rose-Marie, that sure was a nasty twister.")

I got a call from Lisa on Thursday. I was glad that she called. I'm always glad when she calls. I sure am going to miss her when she goes to China.

Amy called me on Friday night. I too was glad to hear from her. She still hates work(I can totally sympathize). She told me how to peel an avocado. I am always glad when Amy calls too.

Last night, my cousin Paula had a BBQ. I was there, my aunt and cousin were there. It was a lot of fun. I took a green salad(with avocado). We played an interesting game called gender-bender. It was a fun game, but it is definitely for an older crowd. A 15 year old and an 11 year old should not be playing. After that we played Pictionary and loved it.

I have noticed that most of my blogs have some sort of squishy thoughts and stuff. So, I have decided to warn you when the blog entry is about to get squishy with this disclaimer: "WARNING: This blog entry is about to get emotional. Any similarities to any events or persons, dead or alive, is purely coincidental. Any harm or damage done to a readers emotional and mental state is not the fault of the blogger because IT AIN'T HAPPENING TO YOU!!" What do you think?

"WARNING: This blog entry is about to get emotional. Any similarities to any events or persons, dead or alive, is purely coincidental. Any harm or damage done to a readers emotional and mental state is not the fault of the blogger because IT AIN'T HAPPENING TO YOU!!"
I have been thinking a lot about how I am, yet again, going to be alone for Valentine's Day. Depressing, depressing, depressing. Depressing, depressing, depressing. Depressing, depressing, depressing. I can't help thinking that I could have had a special someone to share Valentine's Day with. Picture it...

I would call her the night before Valentine's Day and tell her to pack for a little road trip. Nothing special, I would say. I would pick her up from her house at 7am the following morning and present her with a dozen red roses. I would tell her, "There aren't enough roses in the world, to express how much I love you."
We would get into my car and she would ask, "Where are we going?" To which I respond, "It's a surprise."
I would make the drive up to Lake Tahoe where the air is a crisp 35 degrees and there is still snow on the ground. I turn off the highway and head down a dirt road through the heavily wooded forest to a remote, yet well-kept lakeside cabin. The view of the lake and mountains from the cabin is breath-taking.
I would help her out of the car and tell her that the luggage can wait. I would produce the key to the cabin and slowly open the door. Inside, a fire is already going in the fireplace, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of red roses in various locations throughout this two room cabin. The scent of roses strong, yet not overpowering. She is extremely happy and instantly starts to tearup. I shut the door and lead her to the sofa across from the fire. We just lay there in each others arms, telling each other how much we love one another. We both fall asleep peacefully, comforted in the thought that we will always and forever have one another.

Depressing, isn't it. This is a little fantasy I had at work this week. And notice there is no sex in it! Depressing, depressing, depressing. I could cry.

Eighty-Seventh Entry

I have just finished watching the best movie I have seen in a great long while. "Bourne Identity" is an excellent action/thriller/suspense movie. To all of you who have not seen it, it is a must see.

Night

Eighty-Sixth Entry

I have decided that I do not want to be engaged by the end of the year. Whatever happens, happens. I can't force anything.

I think the reason I was wanting to get married is cuz I was really lonely. But now that I have school to worry about, I have a great diversion from the empty pit of darkness in my heart.

Later

Eighty-Fifth Entry

It has indeed been a while since I posted anything in my blog. I dont blame you all for not reading. But, as you have probably heard, I am rearry busy with work and school.

Work
Work has been especially busy this week. I made the final push on my overlay projects(Contract 2), and it still wasn't enough. Probably just another half of a day on Monday and it will be done.

We had a bid opening on Wednesday for Contract 1. This particular contract was a giant headache for everyone in the Design division. It consists of 11 projects. One of which was mine, Avenue 224, or as I like to call it, "My Quarter Million, Quarter Mile." The opening went well; five contractors submitted bids. Our "Engineer's Estimate" came in right where we wanted it to, about one third lower from the highest bid.

But, apart from the actual work we do, something very extremely interesting happened on Tuesday.
The Story:
Bill, a 55-ish engineer, is sitting at his desk getting things ready for Wednesdays bid opening. It is his responsibility to get these things done because he was the Project Engineer on Contract 1. Phil, Bill's supervisor(also mine), went to check up on Bill and tell him what he wanted for the Bid Opening. Background: For the longest time, those two absolutely hate each other. I often find myself on the listening end of one of Bill's vents about Phil. While Bill is very vocal about his dislike of Phil, Phil just doesn't get into it. Phil is a much calmer(dare I say...professional!?) person than Bill is. I really like them both, so choose not to take sides. Phil goes into Bill's cube and starts to tell him that he needs to be present for the bid opening and write down the bids as they come in(which, by the way, is the way it is done all over the world). Bill goes on the offensive and tells Phil that he does not have to go to the bid opening because Marcia said he didn't. Phil (calmly)"Yes you are." Bill (louder)"No I'm not." Phil (still calmly)"Yes you are." Bill (even louder)"No I'm not. Marcia said I didn't have to! Let's get her in here!" Phil (remarkably, still calmly)"We don't need her in here. You need to go to the bid opening." Bill (yelling)"Get her in here!! Get her in here!!"
Now, for those of you who work or have worked in offices with rows and rows of cubes full of people quietly working it is easy to understand how unsettling hearing something like this is. Our office is normally very quiet, except when I go into Janes office(she makes me laugh), so this unusual yelling was shocking. And it wasn't polite yelling like your parents did to you in a store. Everyone on our end of the building on our floor heard it. It was definately an odd way to start the work week. Since then, they haven't so much as looked at one another.

Now, no offense to Phil or Bill, but their relationship is that of a Jock and Nerd. Bill is a jock. Phil is a nerd. Bill is an atypical engineer. Phil is a stereotypical engineer. It was bound to happen someday.

At least we have a new topic to discuss at breaktime.

School

School is going great. I actually ditched my first class of the semester this week cuz I wanted to work late on Wednesday. Yeah, Spanish had to take a backseat to Bid Results and cramming for Psych.

Schedule of classes:

Spanish 1 - MW 5-7
Cinema 32 - M 7-10
Portuguese 1 - TR 7-9
Psychology 1 - W 7-10
Music 20 - R 5-7

I really like all my classes. Here is a little on all the classes I am taking at COS(College of the Sequoias).

Spanish 1: The teacher is white. Even I can tell his accent when he speaks Spanish. But he also teaches at one of the high schools in Visalia. And he is a good teacher. The material so far (numbers, alphabet, greetings) is basic and easy.
I got a B on the first test. The tests are stupid though. Most of the questions are "Choose the one that does not fit with the rest." 6 of the questions of this type were just lists of numbers. Now, anyone who has at least an 8th grade education can come up with any reason for why any of them dont fit. Apparantly the teacher didn't pass the eighth grade. I got like 3 wrong out of those. He does give us an opportunity to challenge his answers, but only in writing. I should just tell him I am an engineer and he'd back off.

Cinema 32: All we do in this class is watch movies in the first Stadium Seating theater in the state. Its that old. So's the teacher and all the movies we've seen so far.
The prof gives us a questionnaire at the beginning of class to fill out as we watch the movie. So we watch the movie(last week was "The Adventures of Robin Hood") and fill out the answers to the questions. There's a catch...we have to fill up all the white space on both sides of the sheet. Usually there are 9 or 10 questions per night. It really takes a lot to write(in ink...or else) 9-10 questions on two sides of a paper in a reasonable amount of time. I usually stay after for like 30 minutes filling the white space with mindless drivel that somewhat has something to do with the question. No tests!!

Portuguese 1: This class is fun. It's the funnest foreign language class I have ever taken. I hate getting up in front of class and swatting a fly swatter at the projection screen, but I am getting used to it. The prof makes the class a lot of fun with activities like the fly swatter one. We've played bingo too.
This teacher was actually born in the Azores one village over from my Dad's. Pretty cool.
He also teaches at Tulare Union HS in Tulare. My cousin Igo is in his class. One day the teacher asked me if Rodrigo was my cousin. I said yes. Oh, lord I thought. But he didn't drag it out or anything. Last night he asked me who my father was. It was like the twilight zone or something.
Last night we also had a test which I absolutely killed.

Psychology 1: I love this class, I love this class, I love this class. We took a test on Wednesday and I got a 95% on 2.5 hours of loose studying. The test was really easy.
The prof is an actual psychologist and has a practice somewhere in Visalia. The class is fun because the prof is really fun. He is extremely go with the flow and his lectures sometimes turn into a class discussion where it seems like the discussion is really a stream of our collective consciousness. It is really cool.
He is a good teacher because he presents the material very well and in a way that anyone could understand. Not that he dumbs it down or anything, but the way he explains things is good.

Music 20: Beginning Piano is a really fun class. The teacher told us at the beginning that by the end of the semester we would be playing like someone who had private lessons for three years. Although I would love to believe that, I just don't think it is possible.
This teacher is just a spaz and a half. She is just all over the class. Full of energy. And she has the funniest laugh. I'll imitate it for y'all next time i go home.
Right now in class we are starting to learn how to read notes. This class is pretty fast paced without seeming so. Its weird. We are all picking it up pretty fast. We've already learned all the five finger patterns, major chords, the Key Circle thingy, and all the theory behind it. I really like this class.

So that is it. Five classes in four days. Its fun. It keeps me really busy. I have a test in Portuguese next week.

And on the seventh day, he rested.

Eighty-Fourth Entry

I really really want to go to Europe right now.

If you go back and re-read the Eighty-First Entry, my #1 New Years Resolution is to find a mate. I changed it shortly after I wrote that. I will be engaged by the end of the year.

Of course, the other two resolutions will need to happen if I am going to be serious about this one. I need to loose weight because a dead me isn't going to attract any living, breathing, heaving woman. I need to quit smoking because if I can make it stick, I think it would be the single largest confidence booster I've had to date, and in turn help the other two resolutions. And plus, who likes to makeout with an ashtray??

So, since I will be engaged by the end of the year, I need to sow my oats (with protection, of course) and do all the things you can only do when single. Like go to Europe. Imagine how spense it would be to take a wife and 5 kids for a 2 month tour of Italy!

Other news...

Tomorrow I start school. I have two classes tomorrow, Spanish and Cinema. The cinema class is supposed to be really easy all we do is sit there and watch movies(or so I've heard).

Much props to Amy on her 25th birthday!! If this was the 1500's, she would have been married for 10 years and have 5 kids. Kinda makes you happy we live in the 21st century and we live longer than 40 years.

I am going up to the Bay Area this coming weekend to celebrate the greatest man in the history of Civil Rights, Martin Luther King, Jr. Lets give it up for MLK, Jr!!!

Readership check. Only one person responded to my last readership poll...Carolyn. So I suppose it is safe to say that my readership has dwindled to 1. And Carolyn is really only a part time reader, but fortunately, it rounds up to 1. So email me if you read and let me know you read it. I really want to know if I should be keeping up with it as much as I have been recently. It really makes no sense to keep it up if noone reads. So Carolyn, get out the vote! The fate of "The Stories" lies in your hands.

On an interesting note: I am thinking of starting a separate blog detailing the exact goings on of my daily life. Like:

7am, Got to work
8am, Started to pretend to work
9am, Started to actually work
10am, Morning break...etc. etc. etc.

Let me know what you think. I would make it a public thing, but I may one day have an extended session of masturbating that I wouldn't want anyone to know about, but felt needed to be logged. "So that's why you didn't answer the phone!"

I'll be here all week! Good night!!

Eighty-Third Entry

So yeah, this week I had no cable nor cable modem....til today.

Everyone should check out the following site. Funny Junk

I promise, I will write more later.

Eighty-Second Entry

I will not rant about being mostly alone on New Years, because that is my fault. I could have gone over to my aunts house, but didn't. I didn't really feel alone anyway. I watched the TV and started to pack up my belongings.

I got the keys for my new apartment today at lunch. I did not go there though, because I was told that the cleaning crew was still there, but would be done by mid-afternoon. I have to work today anyway, so it worked out. So tonight, probably about 6:15pm, I will walk in my brand new apartment. I have a garage!! I can just smell and see the paint that the inside is going to take. I will be moving this weekend with the help of mom and dad. There really isn't that much to move, really. Probably 4 or 5 truck loads. Not that much. The one problem is that I haven't transferred any of my services yet(electic, gas, phone, and most importantly, cable and internet). But I really don't care because they will get there when they get there.

So, tonight I will start to move the non-essentials like books, clothes, etc. Great fun. I could like camp out there and pretend I'm rich enough to have two houses...one for my family and one for my mistress...

Any ideas on what I should cook for my first meal in my lovely new home? I'm shake n' baked out, so think of something else Jen.

I am thinking of having a house warming party in February. It will probably be mostly family because friends are so far away(side note: my family are becoming my friends!!) So if anyone wants to come on down for a good old fashioned barn raising, let me know! Hopefully I will have electricity, gas, phone and cable by then. :)

I would really like to do another readership census. Please email me when you read this by either trying to remember my email address or by lazily clicking on the link on this page.

And, if I do decide to have a house warming party, I will send out all the proper invitations. I'll see if I can get a grill by then and we can have like hamburgers or something!!! Yumm yumm!

Eighty-First Entry

January 1, 2003

I am a big believer that what you do and how you act on the first day of the year is going to set the tone for the rest of the year.

I had the oddest of odd dreams this morning...but in thinking about it it makes complete sense.

From what I can remember...

I was driving a Mini Cooper type car. I pull up somewhere and I see Katie Couric. She hands me a newborn baby boy. I wasn't too shocked or anything. I guess I must have adopted him or something. He had very light blond hair, and green eyes. He was my son. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I loved him in my dream.

I watched him grow up. Through school, sports practices, etc. I gave him all the advice I could think and raised him as best I could. The dream ended with him being lost in a mall somewhere. He was 17-ish. I found him and took him home.

I woke up.

I have been thinking about this dream all day. I came to the conclusion that I am ready to start a family. I am in a position now where I can afford the responsibility to start one. I know that I have a lot of things I want to do with my life like go back to school, travel a lot but as of right now, I feel I am very ready to give all that up and start a family.

New Years Resolution #1: Look for a woman that can give me all I want. A woman that I can love forever and will be an excellent mother to my children. A woman I can settle down with in a two story farm-style house with a porch that runs the full perimeter of the house.

For some reason, this week I have been having "chick insecurities" (no offense all you chicks) about the way I look. Usually I dont really care that I have giant masses of fat all over my body, but for some reason this week I am just so over it. I need to start working out. I need to get healthy. Eating biscuits and gravy all the time ain't gonna help either, so thats goin out the door.

New Years Resolution #2: Start exercising regularly and become invisible.

This week has also become the week I fell off the wagon. I am now back to smoking a pack a day. I was doing pretty well for a while, but the temptation from watching co-workers smoking proved to be too much. It's not their fault at all. I should have just kept on the bigger patch for longer.

New Years Resolution #3: Quit smoking, once and for all.

So there are my three New Years Resolutions. I think I can for sure accomplish one of them, and the other two kinda go hand in hand, and without one you cant have the other.

A very odd thing non related to New Years....The past two weeks I have received two phone calls from two of my Ex's friends. Both were incoherent and bizzare. I have also been in contact with my Ex twice in that period. Once was a friendly Xmas call where I wished her a Merry Christmas. The other was this weekend when she called me to ask for a book she had "given" me. I was this close to burning the last remaining photos of me and her. Apart from the Xmas call, which I made in an effort to be a friend, why am I getting these drunken phone calls and messages? In an effort to not over-analyze the situation, because of Jen's inferred advice, I tried not to think anything of it. But I can't. Over-Analysis:
My Ex on several occasions thinks about 'us' with pain and malice. And in an effort to make my life miserable, has her friends call me at the worst possible times with incoherent drivel.

But I was advised not to over-analyze things.

I really, really hate Indian givers.

Eightieth Entry

Today is the last day of the year. Tonight, I am going to join my family at my cousins house to play some cards and to say farewell to 2002.

I really would have rather spent the New Years Eve with my friends, but that never works out. They are all up there and I'm down here. I like hanging out with my family here. They are cool and laid back. Pretty representative of the Tulare area, I suppose.

I have been giving a lot of thought to the fact that I have noone to kiss at the stroke of midnight. No one to intimately share this moment with. It has crossed my mind several times that I could have had someone to relieve my loneliness had I not been so selfish and frustrated. But its all for the better.

The relationship I was in was extremely unhealthy. Not good for both parties, though I can see that more than she can. I came within a blink of an eye to asking her to marry me. It would have been wrong. It's not her fault I am alone on New Years though, it's mine.

So back to square one...alone on New Years.

Maybe it's just my internal biological clock ticking or something, but now more than ever, I want to get married and start a family. Buy a house and make it a home...my home. Live the life of a happily married man with a few children running around causing "mischief".

The more I think of it, the more I wish it to happen.

So, to recap...I am alone on New Years Eve, I avoided perhaps the biggest mistake of my life at the expense of being alone during one of the most reflective times in the year, and I am alone on New Years Eve.

I hate Indian Givers.

Seventy-Ninth Entry

It was really foggy on my drive home from work today...unusually foggy. It was kinda cool. It was just pitch black all around me except in front where the headlights were shining.

I went to the Chiro today at lunch. I swear, today he tried to kill me. I even asked him if he was trying to break my ribs. He just laughed nervously as if he'd just been found out. Then he informed me that today would be my last treatment since I am doing really well.

Later in the afternoon, I went to the doctor. She said that since I was feeling a lot better, she would discharge me. She also warned me that if anything flares up again, I need to go back before 30 days have passed or else the Workmans Comp dies.

Yesterday was officially the longest time I had spent away from the office during working hours. We had the field review for five of the projects we are working on. For those of you who don't know...I mean...for the one person who actually reads this(Lisa)...a field review is a review process done with CalTrans for all projects that are requiring Federal money. It's basically just a way for CalTrans to take their frustrations out on smaller governmental agencies. Fun. So, yesterday, me, Marcia(boss), Jean(head of Operations), Bill(engineer), Kham(engineer), Randy and Kelly(CalTrans) all trekked out into the middle of nowhere, and Dinuba. There were a few stops along the way for the CalTrans people to get out of their truck, walk around a little bit, try to sound smart and intimidate us, and basically just make the process longer than it really needed to be.

One plus about it all yesterday though. After it was all done, we all (minus CalTrans) went to a Chinese restaurant in Dinuba where we(I) totally pigged out on Chinese food. My fortune said something like, "You are on the right road to happiness," which made me think that Tulare is the right place for me. But yeah right, 1 in 8 people at that restaurant yesterday got the same thing.

I was kinda stressing about my truck since Saturday cuz the "Service Engine Soon" light came on and scared me. Well, I took the truck in yesterday and it was just a malfunctioning sensor. They replaced it for free of course(good warranty).

I really can't think of anything else to say.

Seventy-Eighth Entry

As a result of scientific research and precise polling, I have determined that my readership has declined to 1. Yes, I now only have 1 regular reader. Is it really that hard to take five minutes out of a day to read someones journal? I wouldn't think so. But apparently it is. My readership numbers tell the story. I did have a readership all the way up to about 3. I shall call that period in my blogging, the "Golden Age". Hopefully thats a little premature, and the Golden Age is yet to come.

The reason I felt the need to blog is because I am watching Full Metal Jacket on TV and I just heard the absolute funniest line in any movie in the history of film. And since most of my friends are of the Asian Persuasion, I felt, hopefully, this quote would be appreciated and not offend anyone.
As you know, Full Metal Jacket is about the Vietnam War. The Americans that were there didn't really like the Vietnamese so every other word, you hear "fuckin VC" or "gook". This phrase is the absolute funniest thing in the world. "Inside every gook is an American trying to get out." I have never heard anything with such twisted logic! It is sooooo funny!!

That is all.

Seventy-Seventh Entry

Renewed Hope

Today was a good day. Three really good things happened today.

First, I decided to initiate a search for another job. I have been looking vigilantely online all day (even at work) for a new job. Nothing really promising yet, and I won't really apply for anything til probably mid-late January just to ensure I can still get my 6 mos at Tulare County. It also allows time for work to get good enough for me to be able to change my mind and stay.

Second, I got a call from the Chiropractor the County is sending me to and they received a fax from AIG saying that my claim is good and I can see a Chiropractor! Yea!! Hopefully the Chiropractor, whom I have an appointment with on Monday, will make this backpain go away.

Third, I finally fixed my computer after like a month without being able to play songs or videos. There was some other software that I had DL'ed that was conflicting with the Windows Media Player. I tried to DL other players, but they all sucked. So now I have my regular video and audio access back!! Very good.

So things are definitely looking up for me now...I'm not nearly as depressed as I was yesterday or earlier this week. Tomorrow, I was planning on going to Fresno for some congratulatory pearl tea and a trip to Best Buy. Not to buy anything, just to gawk at all the things I want. Or maybe I'll just hang out here in Tulare and convalesce. I guess at one point this weekend I need to get up and do laundry and clean my house.

Just a readership check...email me if you still read this. I may be writing just for my own enjoyment. In which case I will stop altogether.

Seventy-Sixth Entry

So after a futile attempt tonight to find what kind of beanie I want from my Festivist buddy, I decided that decisions on hear wear are better left to me. So I pulled the beanie off the list.

Now I am realizing that the person I picked for Festivist has completely impossible things to find on their list. Where the hell am I gonna find a blankety blank blank blank??? I have absolutely no idea.

I am totally starting to get out of the holiday spirit. I have to work. No more Winter Break as was the usual during my collegiate days.

I was reminded by Jane at work today that I am going to work for the next 40 years of my life. "Is that true?" I thought. Yes it is, young Phillip. You are going to work your ass off in a job you hate for the rest of my 'good years'. And by 'good years', I mean the years when I can actually get out and enjoy stuff. After 65, I guess I'll be happy just breathing and waking up in the morning.

So while I was having this uber-depressing conversation with Jane, I felt a sudden sense of impending doom. I am never going to do anything with my life! I always thought that I would be able to do something to help humanity in some way. What the fuck is paving roads and covering landfills gonna do for humanity?? A lot less than I hoped I'd be doing.

As long as I am stuck in an office, crunching numbers, I will never be satisfied. At least for now. I'm sure the system will break me, as it does everyone and I will become 'another brick in the wall' as it were(does that even make sense?).

So yeah, my depressing conversation with Jane this morning, and my triple-depressing conversation with Phil yesterday have really put me in a 'fuck-me' mood. 'Fuck-me' for wanting to be a productive member of society. 'Fuck-me' for wanting to do something more than sit behind a desk all day.

Whatever.

I finally got my Three Month Review today. I got a score of 6 out of 10. Please, close your mouths, dear readers...allow me to explain. My supervisor believes that noone ever deserves higher than a 6 for doing their job. I was informed that in order to get a 7 or higher, you have to do something really really special like invent a new and improved wheel or something. It's as rare as snow in Honolulu for anyone to get a 7 or higher. So I am happy about that. Does that mean I get a promotion? No. Does that mean I get a raise? No. Does is mean anything? Not really. Just that I am on track to passing probation in another 3 months. We have to have a score of 5 or higher to pass probation. Here's one for the record books...I got a score of 7 for interpersonal relations!! Me, agoraphobic, anxiety attack me got a 7 for interpersonal relations!! Wow.

Yesterday I get a call from the Chiropractor that the County doctor is sending me to for my physical therapy. The very nice and I'm assuming very good looking lady(she gave good phone) at the other end of the phone line told me that the Workmens Comp insurance was investigating my claim further(translation: they think I'm lying and hope that my "symptoms" will go away and they won't have to do anything). That delays the whole thing for 14 days. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. So, since my lame ass HMO doesn't cover Chiros, I can't get the physical therapy that I need. I hate it all!!!

My escape from all this has been TV. It's the one thing I can look forward to everyday. I get up, I turn the TV on while I get ready. I come home for lunch, I turn on the TV. I get home at the end of the day, I turn on the TV. I think I am in love with the TV. TV...will you marry me?? What would our kids look like?????

I get to register for classes at COS on Monday. That should be cool. Goin back to school again. I really miss school. It's a hell of a lot better than this real world. I am going to try to register for beginning Portuguese and beginning Spanish. I really wanted to learn German, but they don't offer a class. I also wanted to take glassblowing, but my aunt says that you have to take a bunch of Art prerequisites. In any case, next January I will hopefully be going to COS part-time.

Also, Monday morning(at 7am!!) I will be going to the dentist. Yea! Finally I can get my Wisdom teeth pulled or something.

That was a long blog, wasn't it.

Seventy-Fifth Entry

There goes my goal of updating my blog at least once a month.

I am now officially 'in dislike' with work. I was 'in hate' last week and the week before(mostly because of my back probs), but after a relaxing Thanksgiving holiday away from the valley, I feel somewhat better about work. Of course, if I was making more money, I would not be anywhere near 'in hate' with work, more like 'in like' or 'in love'. I cannot afford X-mas presents for anyone other than cards and the random Gift Certificate. I tried to complain to others at work, but my complaints fell on deaf ears because we all know there is nothing we can do about it at all. Our first measly raise of 5% comes at 6-mos. and rumor has it that there is another raise of 5% at the beginning of the next year. It is all bullshit and it is stinkin up the place. Our health insurance premium is increasing almost 5 times more than the County's portion is. There goes my 5% raise. It is really disgusting how the County is willing to let us die of hunger and disease.

There is going to be a protest by County Employees tomorrow at the Courthouse or something to protest the state of insurance benefits. I cannot go because, as a probie, I cannot use any vacation hours. So the time picketing would be unpaid time. Oh well. "Heck no, we won't go!!!" or my fav "Donna Martin graduates!!! Donna Martin Graduates!!!"

Other than shitty work, and eating grilled cheese twice a day for the rest of the week, I am doing well. My back is good, as long as I keep my friend Naproxen in my system. Yummm. I got a call from AIG today at work concerning my Workmans Comp claim and they had to verify my story and then they told me that since I did not report the injury in a timely fashion, they may delay my claim for up to 90 days. Merry Christmas to me.

Not to nag on it forever, but it really sucks to have a job that is supposed to be paying good money and where I should be able to afford some of the finer things in life, and it doesn't. I went to school for five fuckin years and what do I have to show for it? A $45,000 debt that instead of shrinking, actually grows because I have to use my CC's more than I did before!

At least the utils are cheaper than I had anticipated. I got the elec bill today and it was only $24. Pretty good I think. Especially considering everything in the house is electric: stove, oven etc. My last Gas bill was like $15. Phone and cable are like 5 times those two combined. Ehhh **shrug**.

Life goes on.