Two Hundred Twenty-Fifth Entry

Fantasia clearly won AI tonight. It'll be interesting to see who gets the boot tomorrow.

24 was awesome! Why haven't I watched the show before??

TV aside, I spoke with Amy tonight. I love talking with her. She watches the same shows I do...at least now she does. Hahaha.

After Amy and I ended our conversation, I became very pensive. A lot of things running through my head (could be the alcohol). Song worthy? Some of it, maybe.

Must go buy Jen's b-day prezzie tomorrow. Must check out backpack prices at Surplus City tomorrow too.

I asked my boss if I could work Memorial Day weekend and she said that it's OK. I can't work the whole day on Saturday due to ultra top secret plans. I really need to test my key before then to make sure it works.

I started up work again today on the project that is going to cause me the most headaches in the coming weeks. Jesus.

My boss today asked me a bizarre question. She asked me when I will become eligible for the Engineer II position. I told her I make 2 years in August. There is a position open for Traffic Engineer, but they are looking for either an E2 or 3. She said that if that job is still open come August, that I would be eligible. Then she added that she wasn't trying to run me off or anything. Interesting...it would only be a lateral move, but if I someday want to work for a city, traffic experience is definitely a plus.

Blas and his wife welcomed a new addition to their family on Sunday. Her name is, get this, Kylie Nichole Martinez. I nearly passed out when I read this. He came back to work today and I informed him that this daughters namesake is a sexy, slutty, amoral singer from Australia. He was less than pleased. I can't blame him especially since he is a strict (no secular TV or Radio) Pentecostal. I love spreading joy!!

I must admit though, I could see myself naming my kid Kylie. It's a cool name.

Credit Card Payoff Update:
17 months 'til payoff.

Good night!

Two Hundred Twenty-Fourth Entry

It's hard to believe, but there are people at my work that care less about working there than I do.

I was supposed to work yesterday at the office and add 7 hours of comp time to my growing balance. Well...whoever was supposed to upgrade my passkey to a 24-7 key, forgot to do so. Mother fuckers.

So I lost 7 hours of comp time yesterday. That's alright. I made up for it with extra laziness and pizza.

No Alias tonight, but it's a new State of Play (BBC America show. Excellent political drama. Even better than West Wing.)

Two Hundred Twenty-Third Entry

As the President of Beers said, "It's a travi-sha-mockery!!"

The Series Finale of Frasier is coming up. The very first episode was on earlier...really funny! This is one show that I'm sorry I didn't follow from the beginning.

So far this week I have worked 3.5 hours overtime. Tomorrow I hope to work 2 hours, and then I want to try and work at least 6.5 hours on Saturday, bringing my total for the week to 12 hours of overtime. That translates to 18 hours of comp time leave. After this week, I'll only need 8.2 more hours of overtime to reach my original goal. But.....

Since the Neira-Heystek wedding is right after I get back from Portugal, I am going to try to get more comp time to take at least three days off for the wedding, the two days before and the day after. Very nice. I think I'll even try to work some more extra and actually get paid for the overtime.

Two Hundred Twenty-Second Entry

It would have been one thing if La Toya absolutely sucked at her final song tonight and busted out in tears, but the fact that she held it together and sang soooo good made it all the more painful to watch her leave. Paula cried (and cried hard), Fantasia cried, Diana cried, and Jasmine cried (more tears of joy after giant-luckily avoiding the chop, the evil Hawaiian bitch).

Unbelievable.

Two Hundred Twenty-First Entry

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it.

That little Hawaiian flower bitch is safe this week. And who makes the sacrifice? LATOYA!!

I can't believe America is so stupid to vote off LaToya. I thought she could have won the competition...easily.

Goddammit! Goddammit!!

I'm not pissed though, it would be silly to get upset over a dumb TV show....I can't wait for Big Brother to start.

I got the official OK to work Saturday and catch up on a lot of stuff that really needs to get done. I even got my pass-key upgraded to a 24/7 key. I could go there at 3am, if I wanted. Sweet.

I also found out today that there is a locker room in the downstairs bathroom. I checked it out and it was pretty cool. There are two shower stalls where there could easily be eight, 15 lockers, a bench, and a little nook with a mirror, exercise bike and barbell. It's not a full gym and I guess it used to be a lot bigger. But I can definitely see myself working out in the morning and taking a shower at work. It would save me tons of time. There is only one locker left, so I will have to find out how to secure one.

I'm ready to boycott AI.

Two Hundred Twentieth Entry

Diana clearly won the night tonight on American Idol. Will vote 7 for her and 3 for LaToya.

Bad news at work today. The traffic engineer got pissed at his boss and moved to the flood control position that has been vacant for almost a year. That is where the bulk of my extra work these next few weeks was supposed to come from. And I found out today that another big project I was to work on is being taken out of its parent contract. I was going to suggest that I work overtime this weekend to help meet the deadlines, but now I have nothing. What a piece. There are only so many crosswords you can do for overtime.

Semi-good news at work today. The county deposited my check into my account twice. Very rare! Half the county employees got paid twice, while the other half got nothing. I just happened to be in the better half.

God! 24 is good tonight!!

Two Hundred Nineteenth Entry

I got my reimbursement check from my Sacramento conference. All seven hundred sixty-eight dollars and forty cents. I went straight to the bank right after work and paid my rent. And now I have 93 bucks left for the rest of the week. And...I get my regular check tomorrow! Excellent. I smell big payment to credit cards.

I looked at my last statement and I noticed that the last time I used my credit card was April 8th, when I was in Sacramento. Wow, I am amazed at my discipline. I won't chop them up yet, but once this summer is over I will probably have enough of a cushion in my checking account to not have to worry about having to use a credit card. Until then, they will remain in one piece.

That's pretty much all I have to say.

Oh yeah. I went and flew kites with Dalila, Georgia and Shaley. It was really windy today here. It was a lot of fun.

Two Hundred Eighteenth Entry

I had a really fun weekend. It was full of family, friends and surprises. Very good. Disappointment: No "oke"(karaoke).

Birthday present ideas/rules:
-Money (checks, not cash)
-Anything with a gift receipt (so I can return it for cash)
-No gift cards!

So yeah, if you are going to get me anything, please take the above ideas/rules into consideration. I am on a severe get-rid-of-debt kick and want money to help me with that. Of course thought counts, and if you were planning on getting anything for me for my birthday, you can write it on a piece of paper and wrap it around my birthday check.

Two Hundred Seventeenth Entry

I just got back from watching "Mean Girls" and "13 Going on 30". They were both good. I liked "Mean Girls" more though. Very funny, lots of stuff going on.

I don't know what I am going to do with myself this weekend.

I need to do mega laundry.

I'm starving!

Two Hundred Sixteenth Entry

"Friends" tonight was a classic. I laughed, I cried. It was the perfect way to end the series. I doubt "Joey" will be as good.

I've only worked 2 hours of overtime this week.

Total comp time thus far: 15.05 hours.
Total comp time needed: 47.50 hours.
Comp time needed: 32.45 hours.

And that means that I need to work another 21.7 hours of overtime to make up all the time I need to get paid during my vacation. A little extra wouldn't hurt either.

I am planning on working 3 hours overtime tomorrow which would bring my overtime needed down to 18.7 hours, and my comp time needed down to 28.05 hours. The good thing is, that all the stuff that was supposed to be done this week, hasn't been done. Next week will be hell. I'm still waiting on 5 more curb and gutter surveys too. Ai ai ai! Not to mention the Richgrove Alleys that I need to complete, and all the official grades I need to set. Triple ai ai ai!

Two Hundred Fifteenth Entry

WooHoo!!! John, The Red-Headed Stepchild, Stevens got voted off AI! There is justice in this world.

I was driving home tonight, and as I drove over the freeway, I saw a giant brush fire behind some houses. It first I thought it could have been a controlled burn, but then I remembered that you can't do that within city limits. Duh! I drove by it and it was really cool. There were people running around all over the place. The TCFD hadn't even got there yet. It had just started. I drove up to it and watched it for a minute. I wish I had my camera with me. As I was leaving, the FD was rollin' in. When I got home, I ran up stairs to see if I could see it from my window(the fire is about a quarter mile from my house) but I couldn't. Too many trees in the way. Oh well.

I got a cool new cubicle organizer for my office today. It cost the County about $100, but its worth it. I've been needing more surfaces for my crap to spread to.

I vacuumed my living room today, and I hated every minute of it. Vacuuming is the one household chore that I absolutely detest doing. Not that I enjoy doing housework, but... you know what I mean.

I've been trying to write a song for the last few days. For those of you who don't know...

squiggly lines
Way back a few years ago, Jen and I were both into playing guitar (her more than me) and excited about making music. Lisa got in on the action and became our songwriter. Jen and I (and possibly Lisa...can't remember due to neo-band drug phase) made a pact to have a legitimate band by the time we turned 28.
squiggly lines

Come May 21st, 2004, we will have exactly 2 years to do this. In true Gemini form (I can't say this for Jen...she's a cusper) I have put it off and kind of lost interest in it...blah. Well, this week I have made an effort to write down my lyrical thoughts and make them rhyme. It's hard. I keep thinking about Eddie on AbFab when she is instructed by her "life coach" to write a pop song...."Hey baby...I'm drivin' down the road....lookin' at the bicycles....lookin' at the birds and people walkin' on by..." I try, but the words aren't there. I have had some really interesting ideas, but the words just aren't there. And you just can't write songs about Civil Engineering. "Hey baby...I'm drivin' down the road...checkin' out the superelevation of the curve...lookin' at the curb and gutter grade...starin' at the structural columns of the bridge..." Nno.

Two Hundred Fourteenth Entry

I'm still upset Jennifer Hudson was voted off Idol. Stupid John Stevens.

As most of you know already, I am going to Portugal in June. I knew my family was going before Easter. I told everyone that I would not be able to go due to time/vacation time restraints. But, in true Toste family style, I was persuaded to go by means of which I cannot mention for fear of persecution.

So yeah:

June 11th (noon) - Fly to Vegas from SFO w/Louis
June 13th (11:30am) - Fly back from Vegas to SFO w/Louis
June 13th (10:30pm) - Fly to Boston from Oakland by myself
June 14th (7:30am) - Get to Boston from Oakland
June 15th (~10pm) - Fly from Boston to Azores w/family
June 28th (~10am) - Fly from Azores directly to Oakland w/brothers.

It's going to be a very busy few weeks. And I would normally need 84 hours of leave to pull it off.

The Mechanics

I don't have enough vacate(I watched Legally Blonde yesterday) to be gone for two weeks. So, a combination of sick leave(the Friday we leave for Vegas), vacation(24.5 hours by the time we leave), comp time(4.55 hours to date), personal holiday(8 hours I can take whenever), a leave of absence and patient/compassionate management at work allows me to be gone for this vacate. In an effort to reduce my leave without pay, Marcia has very generously offered me the opportunity to work overtime. For every hour I work overtime, I get 1.5 hours of comp time(it's basically vacation time). So:

4 hours of sick leave
+
24.5 hours of vacation
+
8 hours of personal holiday
=
36.50 hours of leave

84 hours needed
-
36.50 hours of leave
=
47.50 hours of extra leave needed (i.e. comp time)

Now, another thing I forgot to mention is that any request for personal leave of absence where I would be gone for more than 40 hours would need to be approved by the head of personnel at the courthouse. That's where the comp time comes in.

47.50 hours of comp time needed
-
4.55 hours of comp time
=
42.95 hours of comp time needed
/
1.5 hours of leave per hour of overtime
=
28.7 hours of overtime

I need to work 28.7 hours of overtime if I want to get paid during the vacate. That amounts to about 4 hours every week from now til then. It just so happens that we have an absolutely giant pile of work to do at work. We are all working under the gun right now. I don't think I will have any trouble making up a big chunk of the time needed for the vacate. And hopefully I will be able to work a little more comp time than I actually need.

In other news.

I bought a bunch of cinder blocks and pine boards and am going to make a coffee table. It's white trash furniture, according to Louis. But all the things cost me $32. And I've got some cool ideas to make it decent looking.

Two Hundred Thirteenth Entry

It has been a while since I wrote a blog.

Last week was the California ADA Conference, referred to as the Curb Ramp Carnival at my office. I learned a lot of things about the accessibility issues facing disabled Californians. It was a good conference, and I learned a lot.

I was up north all last week for the conference and Easter. I missed a lot at work.

This week has been really stressful. There is going to be a lot of voluntary and possibly some manditory overtime at work. Not that I mind getting Comp Time (for every hour worked over time, we get 1.5 hours of paid leave), but it's kind of a nuisance.

***Newsflash*** Jon Peter Lewis was voted off of American Idol tonight. I thought for sure Diana was going this week.

Two Hundred Twelfth Entry

Out the door just in time
Headin' down the 405
Gotta meet the new boss by 8 am
The phone rings in the car
The wife is workin' hard
She's runnin' late tonight again

Well, I know what I've been told,
You got to work to feed the soul
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know, I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman

You've got your love online
You think you're doing fine
But you're just plugged into the wall
And that deck of tarot cards
Won't get you very far
There ain't no hand to break your fall

Well, I know what I've been told
You gotta know just when to fold
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know, I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman

That's right

You've crossed the finish line
Won the race but lost your mind
Was it worth it after all
I need you here with me
Cause love is all we need
Just take a hold of the hand that breaks the fall

Well I know what I've been told
Gotta break free to break the mold
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I can't do this all on my own
I know that I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman

I'm No Superman
by: Lazlo Bane

Two Hundred Eleventh Entry

Amy was down this weekend. We had lots of fun. Much eating, TV and farting around was had by all.

I am sooo excited about going home next Friday. Less excited about the conference in Sacramento on Tuesday. Meeting new people. Hmmmph! And then excited about coming back to SL on Thursday. And less excited about going back to work the following Monday.

Oh yeah, did I tell y'all that I'm going to a conference next week? Yeah. The "California ADA Conference". It's in Sacramento. I'm staying at the Best Western Hotel. I am excited about learning all kinds of things about ADA and cementing myself as the "Curb Ramp Czar" at work, but I am not excited about everything else a conference means, mainly meeting a bunch of people. Scary.

So yeah, if enough people are interested, I am open to having a hotel party in my room. I will be there Monday night through Wednesday night. I'm certain that noone will take me up on that offer, but it would be fun, and I thought I'd throw the idea out there.

Two Hundred Tenth Entry

It has been a long, long time since I wrote in my blog. A lot has happened since my last entry:

Trip to the Coast
I went to the Coast a couple of weekends ago. I went with my cousin Igo and his friend David. It was a lot of fun. We went to SLO, Cal Poly, Pismo, Montana de Oro, Santa Maria and everywhere in between. We ate until we nearly exploded at Krispy Kreme, Margies and Woodstocks. It was a great day.

Amy Visit
Amy came to Tulare this weekend. We had a lot of fun. I didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw her actually drive up to my house. She's coming again this weekend.

Wisdom Extraction
I had the Friday from hell last week. I locked myself out of my house, spent an hour trying to break in, had a wisdom tooth pulled, took my grandma to the doctor, suffered from unbelievable pain that I'm sure is worse than childbirth, did 6 loads of laundry, I put away 6 loads of laundry, and cleaned my house. My wisdom tooth-hole still hurts and I am taking about 4 Motrin's a day.

Death of a Dream
I found out yesterday that I am not eligible to sit for the PE exam this October. I have to sit for it April 2005. I have to wait until at least July 2005 to quit my job. I am so sick of it. I am motivated more than ever to get a second job.

Rubber Checks
I bounced a record 5 checks this month. Fucking 24-Hour Fitness takes their money out at the most inconvenient times.

Idol Madness
I have yet to miss an episode of American Idol. I am officially addicted. I am pulling for Diana DeGarmo. I'm glad Matt got eliminated this week.

That catches you all up.

Two Hundred Ninth Entry

This weekend was extremely fun. It was a weekend of food, family, friends, campfires, food, snow, hiking, food...

Friday night we got to the cabin at about 7pm. We unloaded and hung out by the fire. We ate a dinner of hot dogs and chili. Delicious. For dessert, we had strawberry covered cheesecake. It was Igo's birthday on Thursday, so we lit a Jesus candle and sang him Happy Birthday. He turned 17. After dinner, we sat in the cabin and lounged/talked. We played "Light as a Feather". Lisa and Igo levitated! We figured out the sleeping arrangements and went to bed.

Saturday morning I woke up at 5:30am. I was out of the cabin by 6am. I was the only one awake. I decided to hike down to the creek by myself. It was a very tough hike. I was dying the whole way down and back up. At the creek I accidentally nearly completely fell in. My foot was soaked.

I went up and saw that Tia and Debbie were awake already. They were taking the dogs for a walk. Tia started the fire and we sat around. Everyone got up soon there after. We drank hot chocolate and talked around the fire. The sun behind us was welcome warmth.

We ate a breakfast of "vegelated" eggs and flank steak. It was sooooo good!

Afterwards, Jen, Lisa and I went down to Glenville to buy beer, trashbags and a newspaper. Very expense! On the way back, we took a detour to Sugarloaf and loaded up my truck bed with a ton of snow. When we got back we had a snow fight and lots of snow fun.

By mid afternoon, Jen wanted to go fishing. So we went. We didn't catch anything. We didn't even see any fish in the clear creek, but nevermind. It was fun to just sit around and cast the line in.

We had lunch at about 5pm. It was meatloaf and it was soooooo good! I don't normally care too much for meatloaf, but I love Debbie's version of it. Paula's is a close second. :)

We sat around the fire more and talked. Roasted Marshmallows and stuff like that.

Dinner consisted of Tia's World Famous 10 Veggie Chicken Soup. It cooked for over 8 hours. It was sooooo good! It was even better when I added Cilantro, Sour Cream and Wine. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

We all crashed pretty early (around 9pm).

Sunday morning I awoke at 5am and went to the bathroom. I could barely see anything. I was going into the bathroom and Jen kicked me. She was awake too! I did my business and went back to bed. I couldn't sleep anymore so I listened to my mp3 player. When it got more light outside, I got dressed and went outside. Tia followed shortly thereafter. We started the fire and put the soup on.

Soup for breakfast. It was even better the second day.

We played a little frisbee and catch later. Then it was time to pack up.

We packed up and hung out for another hour enjoying the silence and serenity. It was almost sad to leave.

Thanks to Debbie, Tia, Igo, David, Jen and Lisa for making it a great weekend.

I intend on going back up there again. It's only an hour and a half away from here. Lots of fun.

Two Hundred Eighth Entry

Just finished watching the Academy Awards. It was an excellent show. No surprises at all. Watching the show has intrigued me to watch Monster, Lost In Translation and Mystic River. Must watch these. I did not like the song that won from Lord of the Rings.

I am sick. I was kinda hoping that it was just allergies, but it's sticking around like a fungus.

I'm doing laundry right now, but I can only do one load because I ran out of detergent. I probably have enough clean clothing to get through the week.

This weekend was pretty mellow. My dad came down to visit, but I'm sick so it was very anti-climactic. I did go yard sale-ing with Paula on Saturday and I got three boxes full of old National Geographics for $10. They are from the 60's, 70's and 80's. I will enjoy looking through those when I have the time to look through old dusty mags and aggravate my allergies.

Tomorrow I am going to the dentist again. Not looking forward to it.

Next weekend is camping. Really looking forward to it.

Two Hundred Seventh Entry

Introverted (I) 78.57% Extroverted (E) 21.43% Realistic (S) 54.29% Imaginative (N) 45.71% Emotional (F) 53.66% Intellectual (T) 46.34% Easygoing (P) 56.41% Organized (J) 43.59% Your type is: ISFP You are a Specialist, possible professions include - bookkeeper, clerical supervisor, dental assistant, physical therapist, mechanic, radiology technologist, surveyor, chef, forester, geologist, landscaper designer, crisis hotline operator, teacher

Take Free Career Inventory Personality Test

I thought I took this one already, but I ended up getting a different answer, I think.

Two Hundred Sixth Entry

My votes were right on for American Idol. Amy and Latoya made it through. I liked watching Leah cry at the end. I always thought of her as a bitch. Hahaha. Cry little Bulgarian girl. Not you Rou.

Tomorrow I have a ton of work to finish at work.

SLO is out for the weekend. Her highness' friends aren't available this weekend. So I am free this weekend. Except for Saturday morning. I'm going yard sale-ing with Paula. It's always fun yard sale-ing with Paula.

Wish me luck tomorrow.

Two Hundred Fifth Entry

I love being in the middle. I can see over both sides of the fence and perhaps tell one side what's going on on the other side. I should be a mediator.

I forgot to mention in the last blog that I spoke with Dayni last night. I couldn't sleep, so it was good that she called at 11:45. I loved talking with her. And I miss her. Louis' birthday party just wasn't the same without her. I'm taking her camping after she graduates.

I spoke with Amy and Lisa earlier. Both are doing well. Amy was at CSUH procrastinating, and Lisa bought some CD's at Target. Tsk, tsk, both of you.

American Idol was awesome tonight. Latoya got 10 of my votes, and Amy got 2 of my votes. Both Cali. girls! I thought that the nerdy pencil salesman did well also. Many compliments from the judges, even Simon! What a shock!

I am watching 24. I love that show. I am so tired though. I am going to sleep.

Watch for a new blog on March 15th. It's going to shock you!

Two Hundred Fourth Entry

I like being an enzyme. I can be dangerous or wonderful, it's my choice. Very cool.

Work today was lame. Tomorrow will be lame too.

American Idol tonight. Chick from Bakersfield is on. Hope she's good. They talked about her on the news the other day.

Two Hundred Third Entry


You are an enzyme. You are powerful, dark,
variable, and can change many things at your
whim...even when they're not supposed to be
changed. Bad you. You can be dangerous or
wonderful; it's your choice.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Very interesting.

Two Hundred Second Entry

I went to the dentist today. As it turns out, todays dentist is the real dentist at that office. The other two dentists that worked on me were just filling in for him. Dr. Fishback (today's dentist) is very cool. But, he took one look at my chart and xrays and decided that the other dentists totally fucked up. I left with the impression that he was going to redo all of the work that the other dentists did. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! I hope that isn't the case. I hope I don't have to pay for any of it.

I e-hat dentists.

Two Hundred First Entry

Lisa did it, so I thought I'd try it.

ISTP - "Engineer". Values freedom of action and following interests and impulses. Independent, concise in speech, master of tools. 5.4% of total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

I can't believe what it calls me. Is this test good or is it good?

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||| 43% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||||| 73% Type 3 Image Awareness |||||||||| 36% Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 73% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||| 60% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||| 63% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||| 33% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||| 30% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||| 56% Your Conscious-Surface type is 4w5 Your Unconscious-Overall type is 4w3

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

I don't like this one so much...

Thanks Lisa.

Two Hundredth Entry

Happy Birthday Blog!! It turned 2 years old on Valentines Day! Another milestone: 200th entry!!!

It has been a while since I wrote...

Last weekend was very fun. I went karaoke twice, surprised Louis at J. Crew with all my buds, ate at least 10 times more food than I did all of last week, spent time with my family and spent lots of time with my Amy.

I was ecstatic to see Amy. I really enjoyed the time I spent with her. I can't wait to see her this weekend.

Work today started off rather depressingly, mostly due to lack of sleep and a task at work that has been hanging over my head for about a month now. I moved the task along and instantly felt relieved. My day got better. I felt a lot better for getting it done. I was hating going to work for the last few weeks because I knew I had to do this.

My day got even better when I began the process of registering for an ADA Conference in Sacramento come April. It's no Las Vegas or Montreal, but it's three days where I get paid for not being at work.

I just found out that Camile and Matt got through on American Idol. I voted for Lisa 10 times! God damn it!

Oh well, it's just a TV show.

One Hundred Ninety-Ninth Entry

Diana DeGarmo made it through to the next round. Voting for her 10 times must have helped.

Work today was very good. I officially got three things completed today. And as soon as I got those done, I got three more things to do.

Completed:
- Centerline realignment and curb and gutter grades on Front Street in Earlimart.
- Curb and Gutter grades in Porterville at the southeast corner of Conner and Tyler
- Curb and Gutter grades on Avenue 95 in Terra Bella (I only got it today too!!)

Yet To Do:
- Design alleys in Richgrove
- Determine whether 0.20 feet of asphalt is enough to overlay the Road 152
- Work on Construction drawings of Phase 1 of the Sidewalk and Landscaping Project in Cutler/Orosi

The yet to do list will no doubt grow tomorrow.

I am so glad tomorrow is Thursday. Then it will be Friday and then I can be at home in San Leandro.

I know it may sound corny and cheesy, but I can't wait to see Amy this weekend. I just want to see her.

One Hundred Ninety-Eighth Entry

Winter is officially over. Today was a very mild day and the weather is just going to get warmer from here on. I hate summer.

Dalila's birthday party yesterday was a great success. She had her hair straightened for the occasion, and it looks just like Beyonce's hair. Wicked. The music was a hit. It was so hard to find clean versions of some of the rap she wanted. But I did it, and she was grateful.

Also yesterday I went to breakfast at Ryan's with Liberalina, a cousin of mine. She is very fun to hang out with. We did lunch today also.

I broke down and finally did laundry today. I am finishing it up right now. Just one more load to go into the dryer. I've already folded everything else. Go me.

I am diggin being off the Atkins. I am eating all kinds of good stuff like cake, chips, french fries, soda. Excellent.

To buy list:

Lint roller.

I can't wait to go to San Leandro next weekend. Valentine's Day/Presidents Day. Most excellent.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I have a ton of stuff to do. My office is stuffed with clutter and crap. I did a water change on my fish tank on Friday. The water was nasty. Now it's clear.

I really like the Maroon 5 CD, Songs About Jane, or something. It is a extra-decent CD.

I can't wait to see you, Amy.

One Hundred Ninety-Seventh Entry

With all the rain yesterday and today, this weekend will be a great chance to catch some fresh snow in the mountains. Should be nice. I know I went last weekend, but I would love to go again. The snow will be much softer this weekend. And I wouldn't go to Sequoia Park. Probably just up to Balch Park, maybe Camp Nelson.

Today was one of those tear out your hair days at work. I worked so hard to get two projects done today, and when Phil reviewed them, I got reamed with criticism. Not that I hate criticism, but I have already discussed these projects with Phil and I never got any hint as to whether anything I was doing was wrong. Jesus Christ! What does it take to work with sane people?

Actually, I was thinking today that I work with a great and fun group of people.

Tomorrow I am going to my third bid opening. The project isn't even mine, but I am in charge of the laptop and calculations since the Project Engineer is at home, convalescing after having kidney stone removal surgery last week.

Dalila's birthday party is this weekend. I am working on the music concept and need to have it done by Friday at the latest.

One Hundred Ninety-Sixth Entry

How about Janet's boob?

Patriots won Super Bowl XXXVIII in a stunning rollercoaster of a game. It was just a very emotionally unstable game. I was rooting for the Patriots, and it was touch and go there for a while, but they pulled it out. Awesome game.

Beyonce's rendition of the National Anthem sucked. It's hard to butcher that song(unless you are Roseanne) but she did it.

My weekend was really fun. My brother and Rouja came into town last Thursday. Didn't do much Thursday night. Friday, we bought a ton of food and my brother cooked some sort of soggy stir fry that was really good. We ate and watched Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Each time I watch that movie, I love it even more.

Saturday was snow day. I got up at 6am. We were all to meet at my aunts house at 7:30am. We were late, but we ended up leaving Tulare at about 9pm. August needed to make a stop in downtown Visalia, and Calvin needed to go to Wal Mart to buy chains. We went to Surplus City where I got a ton of snow gear for only $50. Pretty good. They sell all kinds of stuff. I even found the electric guitar I am going to buy. Hahaha.

We start the drive down 198 towards the mountains, and stopped at the Shell station on the corner of 198 and 65. That was the designated place where Calvin would meet up with us. We loaded up on food and water and BS'd for a while. Calvin was taking forever, so August decided to backtrack to the other Shell station on 198 thinking that Calvin may have gotten confused and stopped at that one. Well, while he was gone, Calvin showed up. We called August and he said that he would just go through to the park, since we already knew how to get there.

We took off from the Shell station and got up to the park at about 11:30am. We were informed at the gate that even though my brothers truck has snow tires and 4-wheel drive, we still needed to carry chains. California law, you know. We turned around and went to a general store about a mile away and rented chains. What a hassle!

With the chains on board, we head into the park and follow Calvin(he headed back when he saw that we weren't following). At about 4000 feet, Calvin has to pull over and put his chains on. We stopped too, thinking we would have to put on chains. Nope. The park ranger says that as long as we had 4-wheel drive, we would be OK. WTF!?!

We finally make it to the snow play area and meet up with August. They are ready to go. We gather the intertubes and head for the slopes. I didn't go down on the intertube until the very end when they tied all the intertubes together and we all went down the hill together. That was so much fun!

We got back into Tulare at about 6:30pm and I ordered pizza. Fred and I watched "The Royal Tenenbaums" on some movie channel. It is such a good movie! Fred told me I'd like it, and I did. Very funny.

At 9pm, we met up with August, his girlfriend Toni, Calvin and Paula at Billiard Park and shot pool for four hours. It was a ton of fun. We were totally exhausted though. When we got home, we played Hoopla for a couple of hours and then retired for the night.

Sunday morning we got up and ate the rest of the pizza. We watched TV, and then went to Sonic to eat a late lunch. After lunch, we went to my aunts house to check out the Super Bowl. (Repeat first 7 sentences of blog)

It was a really good weekend. I got to spend a lot of quality time with my brother and his girlfriend. It was a lot of fun.

I think that this will be the first season of American Idol that I will watch completely. I love all the shows they did last week and am looking forward to the elimination rounds. Very funny.

One Hundred Ninety-Fifth Entry

I officially have 5 readers. Not bad.

I would like to officially welcome Fred to the blogging community. And I came up with the Quentin Tarantino thing all on my own, Rouja!

I would also like to congratulate Ricky Gervais and the cast of "The Office" on BBC America for the Golden Globe wins. Did I not say the show was good??

This weekend was the best in recent memory.

Friday Night

Drove into San Leandro around 5-ish. I was set to receive a call from Amy after she got off from work. Then I waited for Amy to call. Waited and waited and waited. At 6:something, I called her. Supposedly, my cell phone was busy. I wasn't using my cell phone at all, but I concluded that since she was trying to call at a peak hour, the circuits were busy.

We ended up eating at Applebee's because there was no parking near Macaroni Grill. Good dinner.

Afterwards we headed back to her place and watched Erin Brockovich. I love that movie.

Saturday

Woke up at 6:45a. Went to IHOP at Union Landing to meet Jen for breakfast. It was really good to catch up with her. Plus we ate a ton of carbs. I had Biscuits and Gravy.

After that, I drove my truck to the Ford Store in San Leandro so they could give Bullet his 45,000 mile service. Good Bullet.

I got back home and lounged forever. I waited and waited for the Ford Store to call me so I could pick up Bullet. I never talked to them. 5pm rolls around, and I call them. "We're sorry, the Service Dept. is closed." WTF!!

I go with my dad to raise some hell. Luckily, the lady that took my car was still there. She gave me the keys and told me that she spoke to someone at the house. She spoke to Firmino, who was half asleep when he answered the phone. And he neglected to tell me. Oh well.

I got Bullet! and called Amy and Jen. I picked up Amy, and picked up Jen. We went to sing Karaoke in Hayward. Very fun. Then we went to shoot pool in Castro Valley. Very very fun. Then we hit In n' Out. Very good. Finally on to Wal Mart. Very nice.

I dropped Jen off, then Amy.

Sunday

I got up around 9am. I moped around the house til about noon. Then my mom wanted to go to Half Moon Bay to eat lunch. So we went to Half Moon Bay. It was nice. I've never been in downtown Half Moon Bay. It reminded me of San Luis Obispo a little.

I got back to San Leandro and ran a few errands. I got back home just in time to depart for the Travis concert in SF.

BART was uneventful. Amy, Jen and I got to the Warfield and we immediately went to the front and squished as close to the stage as we could. By the time Travis came out, we were packed in there like sardines. I loved it! The concert was totally awesome; it was the best concert I have ever been to. They rocked the house and the whole audience was singing along. It was great!

After the concert, I left San Leandro for Tulare. I didn't get back to Tulare until 3:30 am. It was lethally foggy on the 99 for most of the way. I made it alright though. The next day at work was hellish. I was falling asleep. I did get a lot of work done though.

Would I do the whole Sunday concert thing with work on Monday again? In a heartbeat. It was an awesome show.

********************

So that brings me to today. I still had a lot of stuff to do today, which was left over from yesterday, and even more stuff to do tomorrow. I love being busy at work. I just hate being at work. I wish I could work from home. Maybe once I get my licence...

One Hundred Ninety-Fourth Entry

Just got home from Paula's house. I was there helping organize the music for Dalila's 12th bday party. Yeah, I was there yesterday too, but they want to make sure they have enough music. For some reason, the Milkshake song came up a lot. It's growing on me.

Lisa's right. Toxic is a good song/video. It is almost Quentin Tarantino-ish at times.

Tomorrow I am going to the dentist for the third time for the second round of my fillings. Funny thing: half of a filling I had put in last week fell out today. Bastard dentist. We'll see what he has to say tomorrow.

Oh yeah, I spoke with Dayni on Monday. I called her in Hawaii, and she sounded very well and happy. It was good talking with her. I promised to call her again, and will do so soon.

Don't want to get all political on the blog, but I like Gen. Clark for president. I found out yesterday that Michael Moore (Bowling for Columbine) is endorsing him. Even better. He seems to me to be the only democratic candidate that has a chance against Bush. Plus, I don't trust Dean...there is just something about him that I don't like. He has some kind of Clinton-esque past that can only hurt the dems in this election. Just a hunch....the magic 8-ball says "No Doubt About It." There it is. It was weird last week...for a split second I thought we would be better off with Bush serving another term, and I considered voting for him. Yikes! I banged my head against the wall several thousand times and came to my senses.

One Hundred Ninety-Third Entry

Just spent the evening at Tia Luisa's and Paula's house. Very good night. I got a CD of photos from the Holiday Lunch at vo's house, and they all look good, and most will end up on my website. Thank you Debbie! At Paula's, I helped design the music concept for Dalila's 12th birthday party. It is also going to be Dalila's first serious Boy and Girl party. OooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!!!!!

I was nearly done with my website additions, but now with the new pictures my website will take a little longer to get updated. From now on, when I develop film, I will ask for the photos on CD. Much easier than scanning pictures of Lisa smoking.

What else is new...I pretty much mentioned all that is going on in my life this weekend in the many blog updates I made.

Re-iterations:

-Super Furry Animals concert on Feb. 27th at the Fillmore. Anyone interested?
-Magic 8-ball questions. It has a very good record! Send your questions!
-Readership count. Let me know if you read this blog. Comments welcome!
-Travis concert on Sunday. Beautiful Occupation is their best song.
-I really want to go shoot pool sometime this week.

One Hundred Ninety-Second Entry

Oh my God. I am definitely going to see the Super Furry Animals next month. I bought two of their CD's today, "Rings Around the World" and "Phantom Power". My God, I thought Travis was mellow. Some of their songs are like smoking all kinds of pot without OD'ing. Amazing. Some of the songs are much more upbeat, almost danceable. A very good balance of the two. Anyone interested? It promises to be a night of contact highs and great music. I will put some clips on my website soon.

My day off has been very uneventful so far. I got up at 10am. Watched the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Amy was right, I really liked that movie. After the movie, I took a shower and watched a little TV.

Then I drove to Best Buy to see if they had the SFA albums I was looking for. Nope. But Borders did. I also got "The Communist Manifesto" by Karl Marx. I was feeling hungry, so I went to BT's and got an All Meat Burrito. Soooo good.

I came home and watched some more TV, called home, made an appt. for my truck service this Saturday. 45,000 miles...wow. Bullet deserves it. Actually, by the time I get to San Leandro this Friday it will be pushing 45,600. 600 miles overdue. Oops.

Then I busted the SFA CD's in my stereo and am listening to them now. I am also reading my new book by Mr. Marx. No, I am not becoming a communist or socialist, just curious. I guess, at heart, I have always been somewhat of a socialist. Maybe that is why I am curious about Marx's theories. More about that later though, I can hear the fake snoring noises.

Hopefully later on today I can go do something, if anyone is around.

Ooh, scary song.

One Hundred Ninety-First Entry

Hey Jen. I just remembered that I saw the perfect bday prezzie for you today at Best Buy...I can see the #3's and 4's already.

So I think that I really want to see Super Furry Animals. Anyone interested? I am going to buy two of their CD's at Borders/Best Buy tomorrow to make doubly sure.

Alias tonight was very good. It's always very good. I can't believe Lauren is a double agent! Jesus Christ. And I have a hunch that Irina somehow turned herself into Isabella Rosselini in the same way that the Francine clone was made. Think about it...noone has seen Irina since last season. And I wonder how Syd is going to find out about Lauren(you know she has to). Must discuss with Gloria on Tuesday...

Ego Has Landed is a very good CD. After the CD is over...I will watch...Close Encounters.

I finally opened Eye Toy this weekend. Amy and I played. She did well, but me being so tall I kept hitting the fuckin ceiling fan. I was bout ready to just rip it out of the ceiling.

I am very glad to see that most of the magic 8-balls predictions came true. It seldom lies...send more.

I haven't done this in a while...READERSHIP CHECK! Email me before Jan. 26th if you regularly read this blog. And let me know your feelings about it. Not that I'm becoming self conscious about my blog again, I'm just curious.

Happy MLK Jr. B-Day! Those of you with days off, enjoy! Those of you having to work...think of us enjoying the day off!

One Hundred Ninetieth Entry

I am officially bored. Noone is home. Noone is answering the phone. Shooting pool and drinking beer is not something you do by yourself. So I'll just listen to my new Robbie CD and drink beer at home. After the Robbie CD, I will bust out the Travis CD's to practice for the concert next week.

Anyone interested in going to see the Super Furry Animals on Friday, Feb 27th at 9pm at the Fillmore? I'm not too sure if I am going because I have only heard a few of their songs. And none of the songs were off of the album they are touring with now. They are a Welsh rock band, and from what I've heard, they are as mellow as Travis(if not more), not as depressing and a little more psychedelic. But that may just be the songs I've heard..."Juxtaposed With U", "Presidential Suite" and "Shoot Doris Day". I guess some of their rock songs are really hard...sounds like a good balance to me though. I will find some mp3s and let you know.

And I'm sorry if my 188th entry confused some people. No I am not going to kill myself, no I am not pissed off, no I am not depressed. I just felt like saying FUCK 56 times. That's all.

I made several kamikaze's tonight using my crate and barrel drink shaker(thanks a mil Lisa) and they turned out super excellent. Yum, yum, yum. Think I'll have another...

One Hundred Eighty-Ninth Entry

I had one of the best weekends in recent memory.

Amy came all the way to Tulare to visit. It was a great visit. We are officially a couple. It was a great visit.

I was way off my diet all weekend. Much Sonic was had by all.

We went to Best Buy today, and I spent so much money. I love spending money. I bought the first Lord of the Rings, Run Lola Run, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Robbie Williams' The Ego Has Landed. Excellent purchases, no?

Super excited about Travis next weekend. Amy bought the 12 Memories and The Invisible Band CD's so she could listen to them in preparation for the concert. She must prepare. She'll probably be the only one there not singing along. Well, maybe Jen too...I remember her saying she didn't like the new album as much as the others.

I can't wait to hear Beautiful Occupation live.

I want to go shoot pool tonight. Will call round and see if anyone wants to go. No work tomorrow!!!

One Hundred Eighty-Eighth Entry

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

that is all

One Hundred Eighty-Seventh Entry

I finished the button puzzle last night. Jen gave it to me the night we all went to see Firmino's play in SF. Thanks Jen! It was a very challenging puzzle. It took me about 5 days.

Today I started another one I had sittin around and it sucks ass. It is of the blue sky and some clouds. What sucks about it is that the shapes of the pieces are very generic. One piece could fit five other pieces. It took me all day just to get the border done. I don't even know where to start on the interior of the puzzle. I think I am going to give up on this one and start my astronaut puzzle. It's 2000 pieces! 6 days work...tops.

I need to clean my house and do laundry. I had to rewear a pair of pants(I hate hate hate rewearing.) I also need to play my Playstation. I still haven't opened EyeToy. I am avoiding all exercise, and EyeToy is very much a cardio workout.

Off to clean...wish me luck.

One Hundred Eighty-Sixth Entry

I went back to the dentist yesterday. It went very well. This time they were showing Lion King on the TV. They called me almost immediately. I sat down, and the dentist started to fill in the holes with composite filling. I asked him why they don't do composite on all the fillings. He said that composite fillings don't last as long as amalgam, have been known to shrink, and are more expensive. He said that they only use composite fillings on the front teeth, because they are enamel colored. The gum next to the tooth that took the biggest filling is very sore. I might have to have a root canal. In which case I would have to nearly deplete my savings account because the root canal and accompanying crown along with all the work I wanted to have done this year will cost my insurance more than the $1000 yearly maximum. I e-hat Delta Dental.

I love my new reach flossing mechanism. It is so easy. The only thing that sucks is that every month I will have to buy refills.

I have a ton of stuff to do at work today. Good thing I only have half a day...wouldn't want anyone to think I'm a good worker or anything.

One Hundred Eighty-Fifth Entry

Today was a very weird day. Well, the weirdness started last night.

I got my monthly Columbia House mailing yesterday. My commitment ends sometime this month. So when a deal came through saying "Buy 1 Get 3 Free", I decided it's time to fulfill my commitment. So I leafed through the literature they gave me. I needed to find 8 CDs that I am remotely interested in. I started at 6:30 pm.

I could only find 3 CDs in the literature they gave me. I decided to hit the website. At 8pm, I was no closer to my goal and watched the "Simple Life" reunion on FOX, and browsed the website during commercials. By the end of the show, I only had 5 CDs.

I submitted my list to Columbia House at about 10pm.

I woke up this morning knowing that I would only be at work for 45 minutes before I had to leave to go to the dentist. I get to work. I get to the dentist. They were showing Finding Nemo again. I love that movie!

The lady tells me to have a seat in the same place I sat in last week. I sit down and we begin.

I'm certain that the dentist tried to kill me. He put the topical anesthesia on my gums and stuff, but didn't wait long enough for it to kick in. He pulls out this giant half inch diameter needle full of stuff and jams it into my gums. At first I didn't feel anything, but the more novocaine he injected the more pain I felt, until I felt a huge sharp pain from my jaw up into my temple. There is nothing more emasculating than shedding a tear in front of a stranger.

Once I was all good and numb, the drilling began. After about 2 minutes of drilling, the suction tube lady said, "Doctor, 30." I didn't realize what that meant until after I got back to work.

Then the dentist tried to drown me. The nozzle on the water gun he had was too small so it kept falling out and shooting water all over my shirt. I couldn't help but laugh. I don't think they liked me laughing.

Finally, they were finished. The dentist advised me that there was a possibility that I needed a root canal in one of the teeth that I had filled, but only if pain or heat sensitivity persisted. I paid my $25 deductable and went on my way.

Back at work, the novocaine started to wear off when I noticed that the tooth in between the two that got fillings was extra sensitive. I was perplexed. Then I remembered the "Doctor, 30" thing that the suck lady had said. I borrowed a mirror from Danny(who has all of a sudden developed a germ fetish, think Lysol wipes all over the place) and confirmed what I had just thought. When she said "Doctor, 30", she was reminding the dentist to drill in tooth 30. I discovered two perfect little holes in tooth 31! I did not have a cavity in 31!! I was like WTF...fucking kangaroos!

I was going to let it lie until my appointment next week, but Jane urged me to call. I called...

"Tulare Health Clinic, blah blah speaking, how can I help you?"
"I'd like the dental office."
"One moment."
(two rings)
"Dental Office."
"Hi. My name in Phillip Toste and I was in earlier this morning for two fillings. The tooth in between the two teeth that got fillings is really sensitive, and upon looking in the mirror, I found two tiny holes in it. I think the doctor made a mistake and drilled the wrong tooth initially."
"Hold on a second, please."
"Thanks."
(on hold for about 30 seconds)
"Can you come in at 9 tomorrow?"
"Yes I can."
"See you tomorrow."
"Thanks."

No questions. They know they fucked up. If I have to pay a cent tomorrow, I will say the two little words that I never thought I'd say, "Malpractice lawsuit." That should fix them right up.

I heard at work today that we are definitely going to hire a new engineer. I'll never get promoted.

You know that my supervisor and I were the same age when we started working for the county? Except he started 4 months before I was born. I like reminding him of that. Hahahaha.

I don't know why Danny has developed a germ fetish all of a sudden. We did have a discussion at length about the perks and perils of digital cable. He just got it and expressed his confusion with the remote control. It's easy once you get used to it. No more are the days of the preview channel.

If anyone ever goes to Taco Bell, you must must must try the Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito. It is pure pleasure.

One Hundred Eighty-Fourth Entry

So I'm sittin there at work today(I was half an hour late today, yikes!) and my boss comes up to me and tells me that her daughter asked who I was the last time I was there. Now, I have only met her unbelievably hot, 18 year old, Harvey Mudd going(did I mention she's hot?) genius daughter once, so I didn't think she would remember me anyway. But when Marcia told her who I was, she commented on how much weight I had lost.

So this whole thing has added fat to the Kendall fire. Ooooh. A pun!

One Hundred Eighty-Third Entry

Happy 26th Birthday Amy!!

I got my Performance Appraisal today. I got a 7 out of 10. That is the highest rating you can get without having to fill out extra paperwork. I was pleasantly surprised at what my supervisor told me in the conference room. He said that I exceed any expectations placed on an Engineer I. I am hardworking, motivated, eager to learn and deal with situations with perfect tact and humor. I couldn't look at him while he told me these things. I hate stuff like that. It made me feel good though. Afterwards, I signed the PAF and he turned it in to Marcia(boss lady). She signed it and when she was taking it downstairs to personnel, she came up to me and said, "Excellent PAF. You deserve it. Great job." I damn near hugged her. I said thanks and glowed for about an hour and a half. Then I went into Bill's office to take a nap.

It doesn't make me not want to find another job, but at least I know I'm making some folks happy.

Travis in 2 weeks! Uber Excited.

Oh yeah. There is a big snow trip planned for the last/first weekend of January/February. That is, the weekend of Jan. 30th. August(Paula's brother) knows of a snow park around here where you can take intertubes and stuff and slide down the hill. It's not skiing, but its a lot of fun. The whole troop is going(Paula & kids, August/Toni and Nathan, me and whoever else...) Yes that's an invite! Let me know if you are interested. Not that I'm lonely or anything, but my downstairs is now clean and ready to accept visitors. I hear my air mattress is very comfy.

I got news today of another set up plan with one of my bosses daughters best friends. Her name is Kendall and she is as tall as I am. She'd probably kick my ass if I tried anything funny like smelling her hair or licking my hand. Feisty! I guess she's on break now and Marcia, in her never ending quest to get me married and settled in to a life of County service, has set the ball rolling in a chain of events that I no longer have any control in. Oooh. How very Minority Report. You have a choice.

I haven't gotten any questions by email to ask the magic 8-ball. Please send them on over! It's powers must be used before they are losed!

One Hundred Eighty-Second Entry

Last night, Phil died. Free Bird was born.

The holiday lunch yesterday at my grandparents house was delicious and lots of fun. It's always fun when 28 folks squish themselves into a room full of food and booze. There was laughing, talking, pictures and video. It was a great great time.

Well after the lunch, Paula had the idea of everyone going to shoot pool in Visalia. Great idea. It was Me, Fred, Rouja, Paula, Tia Luisa, Hernani, Carina, Marcia and Melissa. It was the most fun I've had in ages. There was beer, lots of beer. We were there for a total of about 4 hours. The last hour and a half was a mix of singing along with the jukebox loudly, pounding beers and shooting (mostly missing) pool. Fun, fun, fun!

Marcia and Melissa were requesting songs like crazy in the jukebox. At one point, a song came on that sounded familiar to Marcia. She goes,

"This is that 'Fly Like An Eagle' song."
"No its not Marcia, drink your beer."

It was some odd song that none of us had ever heard of. We tried to sing along with it, but all we could sing was a line that contained the words, "free bird". I was in the middle of a game with my brother and as I was about to shoot, Marcia shouts out "You can do it Free Bird!" I laughed for 5 minutes. And it stuck. For the rest of the night I was Free Bird. Marcia became Penguin and Melissa became Swan. Rouja tried Anteater, but it didn't stick. Sorry Rouja. Today when my aunt called me to see when we were going over for lunch, she called me Free Bird. It's funny when old people do stuff like that.

After pool, we left and it was really foggy. We went to Grandmas house where we were drunk and stupid. It was fun.

Today was fun also. We got up and went over to grandmas to eat leftovers. While it was being prepared, I went outside and hung out with grandpa and my dad. Apparently, Tia Luisa's dog Velcro was out in the backyard and found a gopher hole. My grandpa isn't one to let gophers run around in his dirt. He proceeded to put a hose into the hole, turn the water on full blast and let it run for half an hour. It never overflowed the hole. After he realized that too much water was going into the hole, he took out the hose and shoved a bunch of gravel in. Hopefully the gopher got away. It's fun to watch my grandpa on a mission.

New Alias tonight. Promises to be good. It's been awhile.

One Hundred Eighty-First Entry

So yeah, I was just thinking how much funner me and me friends were in college. I remember logging on to AIM late at night (on any given night) and finding my friends just to tell them that I was drunk or high. None of that anymore. I thought about calling someone, but everyone is certainly asleep. We are all so adult now and have to be drunk and high on our own. It's all so sad.

25 years old, and I have to drink on my own. Very depressing. Even Lisa's getting her drink on with other people. I think I am in some sort of alternate universe where things are not and cannot go my way. How bizzare.

I ran out of low carb beer and am now drinking the left over Corona. One bottle of Corona has the same amount of Carbs as the 5 bottles of Michelob Ultra I drank. That is bizzare too.

I should change the title of my blog to "The Bizzare Files".

I should write a will. You never know when you are going to kick the bucket. I think I'll leave my computer to Lisa...she needs a new one. Carolyn can have my Savings Acct. money since she has to pay an arm and a leg for her arm(hahahahaha). Louis can have my TV and paper shredder for obvious reasons. Amy can have all my Ikea furniture and telephones for when she moves out. Jen can have my giant collection of Atkins literature and my CD collection(she got jacked!!). Dayni can have her choice of any one thing in my house, including my lovely computer desk. The rest of it is to be sold off to pay off all my debts. I'm just kidding. If I did write a real will, y'all wouldn't get nothing. No hard feelings?

I am roughly $60000 in debt. That hella sucks. I thought I was doing good, but hell no. Assuming I live til 85, thats $1000 a year from here til there. Jesus! That's what I'll leave to you guys, my debt. I'm so thoughtful!

I am so bored.

The low carb beer tastes a ton better than Corona. It's a little more sweeter almost.

I'm so old. I have to go pee.

One Hundred Eightieth Entry

Well, I'm gonna get drunk.

My visit to the dentist was really good today. The Tulare Health Clinic is not the white trash slash "no habla ingles" slash poverty filled cesspool I thought it was. It was very working class slash "yo habla ingles y espanol". I did have to wait for half an hour, but they had Finding Nemo on for the kiddies. At least they thought it was for the kiddies. I was the only one laughing.

Once it was my turn, I got a full mouth x-ray, which revealed 6 cavities. Not bad considering I haven't been to the dentist for x-rays in over three years. And it isn't even a record. I believe 9 cavities is my record, when I was 9 or 10. Next Wednesday at 8:30am I get four fillings and then I get the other two at some other time. They even took my blood pressure today...128/78...is that good?

I asked the hot lady that took my x-rays whether or not I should replace my silver fillings with white ones. She said not for the molars because they shrink and could end up leaking. Ewww...definitely don't want that.

My magic 8-ball is letting me down all over the place. It said that I would die at the dentist. (Beer #1 finished)Well, it lied. By the way Lisa, it said no to your question from last night.

Overall, the magic 8-ball is 53-12. Still not too bad.

If anyone wants to take advantage of the magic 8-balls hot streak, email or call me and I will ask it. I brought it home with me this weekend in case I needed any guidance.

Tomorrow is the family luncheon at grandmas house. We are expecting about 30 people. I am to my grandma's house at 11:30 to help set up for the lunch at 2pm.

There will be tons of very un-Atkins food. I will go off the diet tomorrow and engorge myself. It's gonna be great. I was going to try to stay on the diet tomorrow, but once I found out that my aunt was making sweet rice, well, need I say more? If you ever want me to do anything just put a huge bowl of sweet rice in front of me.

(Second bottle of beer finished)

Since Jen and my horoscopes are the same, I must say that I am not feeling very sexy, nor do I have a powerful feeling of love that I need to express physically. I don't have any harlequin book lying around, so I'll just shoot up some bad guys on playstation.

I think my magic 8-ball works better than these cockamamie horoscopes. Hahahahaha.

One Hundred Seventy-Ninth Entry

Well, my magic 8-ball is now 45-4. It's prediction of a promotion was incorrect.

In a very stealth operation, I searched through my bosses office (she's on vacation this week) for where my supe hid my PAF. He didn't do a very good job of hiding it. It was stacked like four down in my bosses' in basket. I didn't read through the whole thing, but I did get a very high score, the highest I've ever gotten. That should set me up for promotion for my next PAF. I don't think I can wait that long.

I need to find a second job like at WalMart, Save Mart or something. I'm going to have a lot of dental work I need help paying for...haha.

One Hundred Seventy-Eighth Entry

Work was ten times better today than yesterday. I actually did some. Being busy at work is, dare I say it, fun. My favorite thing is the mindless stuff I have to do half the time. I find myself doing more research than actual engineering. And that doesn't bother me all too much. I know where everything is, and if it ain't there, then I stop looking.

My supervisor Phil found this great website. It is for anyone who forgot anything about Algebra or Calculus. QuickMath does all kinds of fun math stuff. I was surfing it for about an hour at work today. GOD I am such a nerd.

Towards the end of my day at work, Phil walked by my office and stalled a bit before continuing past. He was half waving some paper in his hands. Taking the bait, I asked him what he had. Of course, it was my PAF (Performance Appraisal Form, i think). He was going to deposit it in my bosses office so she could review it before he gave it to me. He said that there was a lot of text in it. Uh-oh, I thought and said. That can only mean I did bad. He kinda laughed.

What a lot of text can also mean, is a promotion since there is an extra form he would need to fill out for that. And interestingly enough, I asked my magic 8-ball if I would get a promotion with my next PAF and it read, "Positively". And the magic 8-ball is 45-3 so far in predicting the future. It even knew that tomorrow is the 8th.

The magic 8-ball is never wrong. Except I doubt that I am getting a promotion because I don't have the two years required by the-powers-that-be downstairs. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Dental news. I am a horrid flosser. I floss only when I have stuff caught in my teeth because I have a really, I mean really bad gag reflex. As a result, I have two broken teeth. Each broken at the point where they touch the next tooth over. Sucks. It hurts and I can't chew properly. It takes me twice as long to eat a meal, and I can't eat hard stuff. I saw a commercial the other day for the Reach Flosser fork thing (See...watching as much TV as I do is a good thing). I bought it yesterday at WalMart and I love it. It really does work. Now I don't have to stick my fingers into my mouth and become quasi-anorexic.

More dental news. I found out today that my Delta Dental plan maximum is $1000. I didn't think there was a maximum. This totally sucks. I wanted to have a whole slew of things done to my teeth: I wanted my three remaining wisdom teeth pulled, I wanted my two broken teeth fixed, I wanted my silver fillings replaced with porcelain, I wanted to fix my chipped front tooth, I wanted to begin my check up and cleaning schedule (every 6 mos.), and perhaps get everything whitened. With this damn $1000 max, I will probably only be able to fix the two painful broken teeth. And if it's worse than I think it is, they may have to be pulled and have bridges or prosthetics put in their place. MEGA BUCKS!! I am going to try to come up with a supplemental dental insurance, out-of-pocket of course, so if anyone has any ideas, let me know.

And just in case you don't know, I am officially back on the Nicoderm patch.

Don't nobody "cap" on me...hahaha.

One Hundred Seventy-Seventh Entry

I hate my job. Love the people, hate my job.

One Hundred Seventy-Sixth Entry

My brother called me just a couple minutes ago. He called to wish me a happy new year. No one else called me. For some reason, that has put me in a funk. Usually my mom calls, and some friends call. But thats it, Fred called. Not that I didn't like talking to Fred for a little while, but damn, I wish somebody else had called.

I know that this is a huge extrapolation on noone calling me, but I can only blame myself for being alone on New Year's. I can't sit around and wait for things to happen for me. I do it all the time. I wait for things to come to me. That ends now.

2004 will be MY year. I will make things happen and have no regrets for anything. It sounds selfish, but whose gonna watch out for me and my best interests? No one. I need to make things happen for me this year.

I won't be passive anymore. I will be more aggressive and upfront with the things that I want. I won't be as fake as I have been for the past few years and tell people exactly what I think.

The real, whole entire Phil is going to come alive this year and things are going to change. Fuck the naysayers.

Happy New Year. Hope you got laid.

One Hundred Seventy-Fifth Entry

I am spending New Year's Eve alone for the first time in my life. No one to kiss, no one to hug and noone to share the passing of another year with.

I can't say that I am altogether unhappy about my New Year's Loneliness. I am looking at it as a chance to destress and think about what I've done in 2003, what's planned for 2004. And oh yeah, I'm sick and the last thing I need is to fight with crazy New Year's partiers on the road.

I have a wish list of things to do for 2004. I wrote it up at work last week (my new favorite pasttime at work is writing lists...God, I'm such an engineer.) So here it is with no particular order assigned to the items.

Quit Smoking planned start date: January 5, 2004
Clean, Organize and Sterilize my apartment from top to bottomplanned to begin as soon as my disease is over
Lose More Weight ongoing
Study for PE Test planned to extend from January to October
Get a Second Job search planned to begin mid-January
Write Best Man Speech for Louis planned to begin early to mid-March
Pay Off at least One Credit Card I think I'll go for the Chase Card
Start Exercising planned to begin as soon as my disease is over
Go to the Doctor for a Physical and Blood Work planned for January
Fix my Old Computer and Network it to the New One I'm such a nerd
Paint Paintings I have four untouched canvasses that I made with my own two hands last summer

So there it is. I'm sure I will not accomplish some of the things on the list. And I'm sure other things will come up that had I known about them now would've ended up on this list.

Louis says I'm lazy. Let me tell you why...

Way back on 12-24-2003(I got impatient), my brother gave me a wireless keyboard and mouse. Very cool, I thought. Now I can sit on my couch and surf the 'net. Well, the last coupla days I tried that, but it was uncomfortable and the print on the monitor was almost too small to see.

I had a brain storm this morning. I remembered that my computer came with a TV Out jack (S-Video). Off I went to Radio Shack and bought a S-Video cable. I came home, plugged one end to the computer, and one end to the TV, and since then I have been surfing the internet on my TV! What's even better, since the TV screen is way bigger than the computer monitor, I can read it a lot easier, and therefore I can be further away.

So, as I type, I am laying down on my sofa, in the same position that I slept in last night, typing, surfing, mp3ing away. God I love it! And if I wanna watch TV, I can just hit the input button on my handy remote. Thanks Fred for helping me live the couch potato's dream!

Talk about lazy. But I'm sick so it's OK.

I just took a theraflu and realized that I was supposed to get gas and buy cigarrettes. Shit, shit, shit!

One Hundred Seventy-Fourth Entry

I had a very fun extra long weekend. Christmas was good to me. The food was great and there was tons of it.

I am coming down with a disease. I don't know if it is the flu, a cold or just a passing mini-malaise, but everything is happening at once.

Symptom 1: Hot and Cold. Right now I feel Hot, but half an hour ago, I felt Cold.
Symptom 2: My left ear hurts and is very sensitive to pressure.
Symptom 3: I broke a tooth yesterday. It doesn't hurt all that much, but feels a little sore.
Symptom 4: Sore throat. I woke up with it this morning.
Symptom 5: Mini muscle aches.
Symptom 6: Light chest pains.

These could all be completely unrelated. Or I could have a heart attack, strep throat, ear infection, arthritis and the flu all at once. Wouldn't that be lucky?

Prediction: I will meet my medical and dental deductible by the end of next month.

I was planning on going to Union Square for New Years Eve just because I never done that before. But now I am not even sure if I am going up tomorrow or not. Depends on how I feel. But if I am up to it, anyone wanna go?

Work is doubtful tomorrow. I could care less. I have 90+ hours on the books in sick leave.

Oooh...work news. I heard my boss say my name, and the words "special PAF" in the same sentence to my supervisor. This could get interesting. My annual PAF(Performance Appraisal Form) is coming up next week. A special PAF is used for promotions. Very interesting. I was hoping to already be a II, but it didn't happen. A II is the same as a I. Exactly the same duties. Only title and pay differ.

Other interesting work news. My boss was going to ask me if I want to join her husbands study group for the PE. Her husband Gene is taking the test in April, and the earliest I could possibly take it is October. But I was planning on starting to study next month anyway. There is so much I have forgotten.

In case I die before I talk to any of you, Happy New Year!

One Hundred Seventy-Third Entry

I am drunk right now. It is very fun. I like to be drunk. Lisa, Jen and Dayni are here watching Moulin Rouge with my mom. The movie, so far, is very forgettable. There are some funny parts, but for the most part it is a very mushy movie. Love, Love, Love. That's all they talk about. It's as if all you need is love to live. Yeah, wait til she dies of TB or whatever the fuck she has. See what love does then. There's nothing like 21st century health care.

This makes no sense.

I watched World Idol tonight. Very good and interesting show. I think that Kelly Clarkson is going to win. I am also pretty sure that the backers of the World Idol competition are counting on Kelly to win. She is by far the best singer out of all of them. The Canadian judge didn't think so, but, after all, he is Canadian.

I really like So Co.

Tomorrow is Festivist. I am really looking forward to it. I wonder who got me!?!?

One Hundred Seventy-Second Entry

Big earthquake today at the Coast.

I was just sitting at work when I heard this noise that sounded the maintenance guys when they are up on the roof fixing something. Except it lasted a lot longer and was a lot louder. My first instinct was to dive under my desk, but I waited a few seconds and decided that the quake was not strong enough to knock anything over. I just sat there and enjoyed the ride.

After it was over, I logged on to the USGS website to check out the earthquake. 6.5 magnitude it said. Whoa, very strong. Very strong indeed.

Office-wide discussion ensued, and being the dorky engineers we are, we tried to figure out how much our building swayed during the quake. We never quite got that far, but the consensus was somewhere between 4-6 inches at the roof level. The discussion moved on to largest probable earthquake in the Visalia area. Again, the dorky engineer in us turned to my 2000 International Building Code where the maximum probably earthquake acceleration we can expect here is something like 45% of g (32.2 ft/s2 or 9.81 m/s2 for the metrically minded). Not too terrible. Then I checked the Bay Area, specifically southwestern Alameda County and they can expect an event with an acceleration of 150% of g. Sheesh. That's a killer.

Once discussion died down, it was already lunch time. Everybody went on about their business. I kept refreshing the earthquake list to track the aftershocks. There are hundreds and hundreds of them!

I also read some articles on the quake online. 3 people died. Very sad.

In other news:

- I dropped off all the presents I needed to today. I am pleased with that accomplishment. I tried to deliver everything yesterday, but noone was home! Imagine that! My grandpa really liked the lottery tickets I got him. He tried to scratch them, but quickly gave up and asked me to do it. He's never scratched a scratcher before! Only two of the tickets gave money for a total of $4.00. He was excited when I told him that he won $4.00. So was my grandma. It was a regular happy-fest. Then he asked me how much the 10 tickets cost. "Ai, perdeste seis dolares." "Sim vo, eu sei." Such FOB's.

- My performance review should be coming up in the next few weeks. I will pass, of course. If I wasn't going to pass, they would have told me that I needed to shape up already. The only thing I am going to get dinged for is punctuality. And I live so close to work. It's the fog I tell ya...

- Yesterday at WalMart (which was a madhouse) I saw something that I have never seen before. Some kid jumped out of his pop's truck and stood in a parking spot to reserve it until his pop could get to it. Next thing you know, some Acura, unaware of the kids plan, tries to park in the spot. Havoc ensues. Honking. Yelling. Thank God I was leaving. The Acura ended up getting the spot anyway. Dumbass.

- Very much looking forward to Christmas this year. I am giving a record number of presents this year. My credit card needs to be retired soon.

- Has anyone heard the remake of Tears for Fears song "Mad World"? It's by Gary Jules, and believe me, this song will tear your heart out and stab 10 foot long spikes through it. It's good though.

See y'all Friday.

One Hundred Seventy-First Entry

I had a brainstorm this week.

As of this coming January I will be studying hard core for my PE license test in October. I will not use any vacation time, except for Louis' wedding of course. My vacation balance will grow and grow.

After the test, there are plenty of holidays where I can get away without using vacation time(Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, Xmas, MLK Jr. Bday). I should find out the results in January 2005.

In February 2005 I will have a huge vacation balance(as huge as a Gov't vacation balance can get). Approx. 2.5 weeks. Ash Wednesday is February 9, 2005, and Carnival is the huge party in the days preceeding it....two and a half weeks of vacation....just finishing the hardest exam in my life.......Mardi Gras!!!in Brasil!!!

I know it is still a little over a year until 2/2005, but the idea of going to a tropical paradise in the middle of our winter and partying like I've never partied before is really exciting!

I just thought I'd share and perhaps pique your interest.

One Hundred Seventieth Entry

I would like to ask anyone if they have an extra calendar. I don't have one for next year at home, and would like one for planning purposes.

That is all.

One Hundred Sixty-Ninth Entry

I drove back to Tulare today. It was an uneventful drive.

I got home, unloaded my truck and then went to Target in Visalia. I was looking for more Christmas Crackers like the ones I found at the Target in San Leandro (they were the last box in the whole store!). Well, I couldn't find that particular style, but I did find some ice blue ones with snowflakes on them. Very cool. They had tons of them. I bought two packs of 8, for $8.

So now I have 24 Christmas Crackers. I think I will use them at my grandparents Christmas dinner. There will probably be 20 of us there. The rest I'll take to work.

Good night.

One Hundred Sixty-Eighth Entry

It's that time of year...

Paula called me on Monday asking if Jen was coming down. I was confused as to which Jen.

The Jen that went to the snow! Ohhh.

Paula is going to the snow this weekend. The snow is all over the place in the mountains. But not at the place we went to last time. Hopefully by the end of this month/beginning of next there will be snow at Camp Nelson.

She asked me if I wanted to go, I said no, I am going up north this weekend.

Anyway, I want this blog to serve as an open invitation to my house this winter for anyone who wants to go to the snow some weekend.

That is all.

One Hundred Sixty-Seventh Entry

My apartment is so clean! My mom can do wonders.

One Hundred Sixty-Sixth Entry

It's official, I am coming home on Saturday. Firmino's play is the main attraction. If anyone is interested, let me know. The show I am going to is Saturday night at 8pm. It promises to be fun. My mom was raving about it the other day.

In case anyone is interested:

"Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All"
The Actors Theatre, Stage Two
533 Sutter St., San Francisco
December 5-28, Thurs, Fri, Sat @8pm, Sun @5pm (No Show on 25th)
$15 a ticket
Call 415-345-7575 for reservations.

Like I said, I will be at the show this Saturday, and I will go to the show on the 27th.

Firmino is really excited about this play and would really love it if you see it.

*****

Tomorrow is Gloria's next to the last day at work. Sniff, sniff. She is one of the nicest people at work. Even though she is only moving downstairs, her presence will be missed. So will her Atkins cooking.

Prediction: Gloria's departure will create a huge overload for the three remaining drafters and a giant backlog of work will develop. Intra-office tension is imminent and inevitable. At least until a replacement is hired.

As a farewell, the Design Division is taking her out to lunch at Mimi's Cafe (it was my idea (brownie points for me)). I haven't been there since it opened. I wonder if they have Atkins stuff.

One Hundred Sixty-Fifth Entry

Rouja, I am disappointed in you.

*****

I ironed for the first time by myself today. Yes folks, in all the years I have lived on my own, I have depended on the kindness of others and hanging or folding things up immediately after laundry to keep my clothes wrinkle free. Well, today I decided it would be better for me to watch TV intently rather than do laundry.

Guess what? No more clean un-wrinkled clothes!

I perused my closet for something decent to wear. Nothing. I found a shirt that I really like, but wrinkles very easily, completely wrinkled. So, throwing caution to the wind (and a fire extinguisher nearby) I started on my ironing journey.

I love the steam button on my iron. I didn't have any water in it when I ironed, but later on I filled it up and played with it. Very cool. the sound it makes is very Star Wars. "Luke...I am your father."

My shirt is wrinkle-free and ready to go for tomorrow (it took me about half-an-hour). Unless it falls off of its hanger in the closet. Then I'm screwed.

I'm thinking of throwing a party to commemorate this occasion.

Thanks Amy!

One Hundred Sixty-Fifth Entry

I read Jen's most recent blog about her horoscope. And no Jen, it doesn't make sense to me. Perhaps a hint of sarcasm?

But it prompted me to check my horoscope for tomorrow:

December 9, 2003

Do countries abroad represent real openings for you, dear Gemini? This is a question that you will soon have to answer. It may be that this is true, but it may also be an illusion that gives you a simplistic explanation for the dissatisfaction that you feel in your professional life at the moment. Think about it, because some important decisions you are about to make will be depending on it. And you are not the only one to consider, either.

Very interesting. And very true.

It's probably just the post-vacation thing, but I would love nothing more than to pack it in and move across the "pond". But, as my horoscope points out, this is probably just an illusion to deal with my dissatisfaction with my current job.

Like I said, interesting.

One Hundred Sixty-Fourth Entry

Miolos.com

That is all.

One Hundred Sixty-Third Entry

Work was boring today. I am so over my job, and ready for a change. But that could be the post-vacation depression talking.

Jerry Springer Opera

Lisa and I started our Tube ride with much anticipation for the Opera about to begin. Well, I was bouncing off the walls, Lisa was more composed. We get off at the Covent Garden Tube Station and walk around for a bit. Lisa asks a local merchant where the Cambridge Theatre is. We walk up the street a bit and turn the corner. Just a little further down, in bright neon lights, we see, "JERRY JERRY". I was home.

We get to the Will Call and collect our tickets. We have about half an hour to kill. We walk around and check out the Seven Dials area. Lots of cool looking stores. I found it to be a very indie area.

After about 25 minutes, we get back to the theater and wait for the doors to open.

The main doors open and we walk upstairs. There is a waiting area with a bar and sofas. The doors into the theater seats are still closed, and remain so for about 10 minutes. While we wait, the bar area fills to capacity. It got pretty stuffy in there.

Access to the theater seats opened and off we went to our seats. Decent seats. It would have been nicer to sit a little closer, but from where we were, we could see everything.

Over the speakers they were playing music. Very nice. The theater was probably at about 70% capacity when the lights dimmed and the music started.

From the second the music started to the very last second of the opera, it was a laugh-fest. It was a HILARIOUS show! With songs like "Poop Your Pants" and "Mama Gimme Smack on the Asshole", how could it go wrong?!? I think I enjoyed the Opera a lot more than Lisa did. And I must admit, it was a really rude and crude production and a lot of people would be offended by it.

The first half was Jerry's show. The actor looked and sounded exactly like Jerry Springer! It was freaky. There were guests and fights and Steve and the audience and commercials. It was hilarious. At the end of the first half, Jerry gets shot by a man who gets sexually excited when he wears diapers and poops his pants.

At the beginning of the second half, Jerry is in purgatory. He is transported to Hell by the devil himself. When in Hell, he is informed by the devil that he is going to host one last Jerry Springer Show. The devil is going to be the main guest. And guess what he wants...an apology from Jesus!

Not for the religious and faint of heart.

Nevertheless, Lisa and I enjoyed it. I would definitely see it if it came to the States, but we figured it would never make it to the US.

The End

One Hundred Sixty-Second Entry

Left work early today. I didn't feel that good. I think it's post-vacation depression. Don't worry, my life is in no danger.

Thought I should write this funny story into my blog.

The Last Night in London

Last Friday, I got back to the Astor Hyde Hostel in London and met up with Lisa. We got our dirty laundry together and did laundry at a laundrette down the street about 5 minutes. After that, we went back to the hostel and up to our room to start packing. Our plane leaves at 11am the following day.

Our plan was to wake up at 6am, get ready and be at the airport by 8am. Good plan.

Our Italian roommate Stefano comes in and informs us we are going to go downstairs to the bar and drink some beer. Lisa and I try to tell him that we have to get up really early, but you know those Italians...persistent. We cave and start to go to the bar. Lisa remembers that she needs to buy a magazine and goes out to a news agent on Queensway. So that leaves me and Stefano going drinking in the bar.

We drink, we smoke. There are not that many people in the bar. It was only 10pm. Two of Stefano's countrymen arrive in the bar and he tells them how he taught Lisa and I Italian cuss words. I have to practice my Italian for them. "Succia il mi cazzo, figlio di puttana!", "Vafanculo" and "Faccia di merda" are my favorites. A little while later, Stefano remembers what he calls the most important Italian word, "Pompino". (I will not sink to the level of writing their translations in English...I'll let this website do it for me. Italian Cuss Words

After a while (another pint and three or four cigarrettes), Stefano leaves and goes to pick up a friend that is staying at another hostel. He tells me to wait for a ten minutes. I says OK, fulling intending on leaving as soon as he does and going to sleep. He takes off, and I finish my pint and cigarrette, when a Scottish guy comes and plops himself down on the seat next to me. He asks the barkeep for a pen and paper. He starts to write a note. It reads: "Excuse me, but will the hat buy you a drink?" I could barely keep from laughing. He was wearing a very Lisa-esque ear-hat, but twice as big (it must get colder in Scotland).

He turns and asks me if he spelt 'excuse' right. I said yes. He takes off into the next room and comes back without his hat. Almost immediately, he expresses regret for leaving his hat. "Ah should've ahsked fu me 'aht bahck!" I nearly split at the seams! (At this point I just finished my third pint) I told the guy he needs to go get his "aht bahck". Sensing some good comedy, I went ahead and ordered another pint.

The Scot went back and got his hat. I asked him if his note worked. He murmured something incoherent and inaudible. I asked him to repeat. Again, incoherent and inaudible. I just started laughing and he said something about his accent. We talked for a little bit. It was really hard to understand anything he said!

A few minutes later, the girls he was trying to buy drinks for came to the bar. He turned to me and said "Thaht's 'em!" He takes off his hat and askes Fabio, one of Stefano's friends to pass it down the bar. Fabio passes it to Antonio, another of Stefano's friends. Antonio doesn't know what to do with the funny 'at. He looks at the Scot with a look of bewilderment that just cracks us up. The Scot tells him to put it on the stool beside him.

The Scot yells at the girls and points to his hat. They give him the weirdo eyeroll and a half smile. He dismisses it and gets his hat back. The girls get their drinks. The Scot motions them over. They come over and we start chatting. Celia, from New Zealand, and Laura, from Washington DC. Very nice girls. The Scot excuses himself because he is tired and needs to sleep. He takes off and I chat with the girls all by myself. Liquid Courage, don't fail me now.

We chatted for about an hour about tons of stuff. Celia is in London working in an Art Gallery as a receptionist. Laura is in London working as a Tele Marketer, asking people about whether or not they like Rugby. Very interesting! The whole time in my head..."pompino, pompino". Definitely Laura, but possibly Celia.

We had a very interesting conversation. I bought them a drink each, and another for myself, my last for the night (I needed to save at least four pounds for the Tube Extension to the airport). After a while, I realized that a "pompino" was not in the cards. So I just enjoyed the company from then on.

After a while, I excused myself and went to the toilet. After what must have been the world record for the longest urination, I returned to the two girls and we talked some more. Their mental patient of a roommate Jean-Batiste showed up after work and talked for a while. He was easier to understand than the Scottish guy, but that's not saying much. Jean only stayed for one pint and went to sleep.

After about 'alf 'our, Celia and Laura decided it was time to go to bed. I bid them good night and good luck with their jobs. I looked at my watch, half past two. Jesus. "Lisa's gonna kill me for sure."

I stumbled upstairs and snuck into the room. Lisa was asleep. I quietly laid on my bed and awoke to Lisa waking me up, three and a half hours later. Time to go to the airport.

The End